Character previewCharacter previewCharacter preview
arrow_back

RETRIBUTION

3 Weeks + 1 Week
Regular Match

Comics

RETRIBUTION
By Dechado
chat_bubble 11
star star
Joey
heart_broken DEFAULT
Final Score: 0.00
RETRIBUTION
By PyrasTerran
chat_bubble 11
star star
Miller
star star
The Gray Owl
trophy WINNER
Final Score: 5.85

Comments (11)

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
6 years ago
thanks for the notes, friends I agree with Kura/Kozi, and past battles i've been in has proven that if I can get the visual storytelling right all the way down I can still succeed even with missing some text; generally when I have incomplete pages but all the words down I do worse than the opposite I need to remember next time that I need at least 2 hours for the lettering process when I'm racing the deadline clock

Kozispoon's avatar
Kozispoon
All-Rounder
6 years ago
PYRAS- I had to go back and re-read, but I think I've learned more and enjoyed Joey's character developments and misadventures through your comics- which is weird! You are obviously comfortable battling this character and his antics really line up well in your comics and allow your own characters to play off him well. I admittedly read the updated version with the dialogue included in the last few pages first before this went up, so my opinion is slanted, but with the dialogue in I personally dug how this battle ended. But I agree with the comments below- the panels should convey at least a little of what they're saying even if the dialogue inst there. Also I lowkey wanna battle Amber now. :00

Majikura's avatar
Majikura
All-Rounder
6 years ago
Actually instead of relying on text so much, I feel you should concentrate on paneling and visual storytelling. Even if there is no text at all, you should still be able to tell what is going on...which isn't the case here.

Lucky Nothin's avatar
Lucky Nothin
All-Rounder
6 years ago
Pyras, you really gotta focus on getting text down first. Even on unfinished pages it's the thing that gets the point across the best, I really think you should know this. Especially in this comic where I have no idea what happened to get from one page to the next, and I don't think you're missing pages (as you only said you didn't have time to get the text in). This has happened a few times, maybe consider doing the text before anything else for the next one.

Desichan's avatar
Desichan
All-Rounder
6 years ago
Good comic! Thank chu for the kid friendly version: https://sta.sh/21ob0vb5xql1 I feel like if anything could be improved you could put more life into a lot of the backgrounds and I feel like more zoom outs could've worked great for this, but its still really good and I enjoyed reading it! Especially in the SFD version hehe! Dechado: I'm sorry you didn't get yours done but I'm sure it'd have been wonderful.


PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
6 years ago
additional material: Like my last Vs. joey battle this comic isn't too serious CAST: Amber - Miller's sister, secretly into danger Joey - lust demon, Miller's former employee Matilda - Mage from another world, befriended Amber many holiday comics ago Gray Owl - Likes the stabby slicey dicey

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
6 years ago
I wasn't able to finish writing the words into the comic, so I was ORIGINALLY gonna cut the comic in half and leave it on a sweet cliffhanger and shove in the rest after voting, BUT then I realized I'm in a Retribution match and in order to win them Retribution points I need to depict sending Joey's lawless butt to the slammer... so I left the rest of the pages in silent. I'll release the fully scripted version after voting, for anyone who cares to wait for some reason, you can consider page 6 the intended cliffhanger page, otherwise, enjoy the pictures i guess

Dechado's avatar
Dechado
All-Rounder
6 years ago
I hate to do this, but Imma use an extension. Mom hasn't been doing well, and me being a fucking idiot, I couldn't juggle both things. So, I'd prefer being helpful to my family instead of diving completely into my hobby. Imma try to at least deliver -something-. [EDIT] Not even with the extension, basically a month, was I able to deliver much. My mom's health took a toll on me, and honestly all I did was take her to therapy, come back home, play for a little as a distraction, and go to bed. Pyras, sorry bud, I know being apologetic ain't gon' fix anything, but I appreciate you helping me out despite my gloomy attitude to try and continue doing comics. For now, I am going to focus on my mother, and maybe then I'll return to VOID. Thanks to everyone who's been a fan of Joey for so long, you're all the MVPs. Until then.

Kozispoon's avatar
Kozispoon
All-Rounder
6 years ago
Quit playing games with my heart, bros. >=[

Animeshen's avatar
Animeshen
All-Rounder
6 years ago
oh shit its back on MAKE IT SEXY, GENTS