Thank you for all the feedback. I realize I did complain a LOT on the discord while I was working on this and I'm sorry for that. I underestimated the time it would take and overestimated how much content I could fit on a single page. But this is a learning experience and I definitely did me some learning. I agree with most of you about needing to condense the story. I realized about halfway through I spent too much time on build up and as a result had to lose a lot of the actual interaction to finish on time.
William_Duel:
If I keep apologizing Ill be here all day so...
Wow dude 19 pages. You really were ambitious. Your style shines through and is pretty expressive. Lots of nice callbacks to Johnny's comics. What I liked the most is your depiction of Johnny's shifting arms and panels. Its something for me to consider as well so Ill take that lesson going forward.
Yeah, I was checking back on your previous Johnny comics pretty frequently to make sure I was portraying the tech aspects correctly, specifically the transformations. It's something I've had to think about with Keito as well since he also has changy arms. Expressing emotions through the mask was a fun challenge, though.
Kozispoon:
Composition wise, your layouts and paneling feel kinda sloppy by comparison and after a while ,for as sharp as it was, your pencils didn't really allow for anything to stand out or be punched forward, but I think that's the limitation of the medium- after a while the graphite tends to bleed together. I am confused by the sudden accent of blue in Rumbles arm canon.Was that intentional?
I agree and I had initially planned on outlining the panels with inkpens to help them stand out more but that just didn't happen and there's honestly no real reason why it didn't in retrospect. As for the blue, that was an "in the moment" decision that I regretted almost immediately. I felt like the gauge on the blaster needed to indicate the charge and tried using my gold gel pen to do it which was just a bad idea, but not something I could fix once I had done it. I did color correct it to blue once it was scanned in since that's the color it would be had this been a full color comic.
Astrodile:
However, the lack of shading on Keito did, compared to how shading was much more emphasized on Johnny Cool.
Thank you for pointing that out because for the most part I honestly didn't realize I was doing it. I think part of it is that Johnny Cool is a more realistically styled character with a darker color scheme and Keito is a more stylized character with a lighter scheme? To me Jonny kinda needed that extra detail sometimes to feel like a completed drawing while at the same time I'm more used to seeing less detailed depictions of Keito. At least, that's the best explinationI can come up with.
JELLY- I am amazed at the level of detail you managed to maintain over the course of your entire comic. Pencils ain't no joke and for what it is, this was a pretty solid. Composition wise, your layouts and paneling feel kinda sloppy by comparison and after a while ,for as sharp as it was, your pencils didn't really allow for anything to stand out or be punched forward, but I think that's the limitation of the medium- after a while the graphite tends to bleed together. I am confused by the sudden accent of blue in Rumbles arm canon.Was that intentional?
I applaud 19 whole completed pages though. Talk about using the month deadline to the fullest!
Your sketches had great visual clarity and stuff, and there was never a moment where I felt your art was hard to comprehend, everything flowed nicely, and cat! You did great, and this is really good and long for a first battle! You clearly have a lot of skill, I think the main thing to learn is how to condense things a bit better, so you don't have to overwork yourself to the point where you're miserable.
Regardless, this comic is lovely to look at, and I'm proud of you for making it through your first battle, and I think this is a great start! I can't wait to see more from you, and you're amazing!
If I keep apologizing Ill be here all day so...
Wow dude 19 pages. You really were ambitious. Your style shines through and is pretty expressive. Lots of nice callbacks to Johnny's comics. What I liked the most is your depiction of Johnny's shifting arms and panels. Its something for me to consider as well so Ill take that lesson going forward.
William_Duel:
All I can really say is I wasn't able to get a handle on things. Sorry. I promise to finish this comic soon.
No worries, man. It's easy to say we both kinda dropped the ball on this one, but it's like, I was trying to lift a ball too heavy for me to carry and you had to drag that ball through an obstacle course. I look forward to seeing what you've got when it's done, in any case.
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