Tsumi

Taylor - Outside of Tsumi's personal conflict, the set up is just a bit awkward, it's hard to get a feel for Fool and the world feels a bit disconnected and artificial. I think this is just due to how we're introduced to the scene, could have used a bit more of an explanation perhaps? That said, this small bit of progression for Tsumi is interesting and telling; I think the gentle reminder of her decline is sad in a way something more intense couldn't be. Feels kind of real, relatable, in a way. You've been doing well with her in that respect. Great job getting another comic out and I'm very interested in Tsumi as a character. Keep it up! Fu - This is a really chill comic coming from you- and I dig it! It's nice to a see more of the calmer moments for Fool/ Merle and I love to see that she's growing subtly. You also did a good job conveying Tsumi's generosity and giving nature, this interaction is sweet. Lovely work yet again, Fu!

Tay: I do really appreciate how you've been sticking to, throughout all these three-panel comics, very small acts of heroism with few obvious moments of reflection to develop and explain Tsumi. Very Heian. However, there are two points that distracted me this comic. Firstly, Fool doesn't feel in character, with how talkative and needy she is. Communication in general is very not her. Secondly, in the first few comics I chalked it off to that one building trying to be weirdly monolithic, but your architecture is all weird concrete slabs with very little breaking up their surfaces. Windows are a hassle to draw everywhere, yeah! But they're kind of essential to making Void not seem like a gigantic oppressive prison. Fu: This route is kind of obvious for a Tsumi/Fool battle to go down in retrospect, but the way you've depicted it is very cute! It's a good fit for the 3 panel style, just illustrating this tiny café chat. The only thing I really have to note in specific is that I was concerned Tsumi and Fool looked a bit samey, but that might not be tweakable within your style.

I'm not sure I really have too much to add that hasn't been said, so what I'll do is reinforce. Hope that's okay! @taylor - I really liked this! Coatl's advice on the exaggerated posing and lighting is pretty on-point. Remember that amazing black and white comic that you did a while back and bring it in! @fukur0 - I LOVE the blues. seriously love them. But I will echo what Desi said about being confused who was tsumi and who was the fool in those few panels on page 2. Imho there needed to be some more distinction between their faces.

Taylor: Great Job with you colors and your character designs as always. This is a good little chapter in Tsumi's story that really helps accentuate her current situation. Don't be afraid to push and exaggerate posing and lighting, always squint to make sure your panels are readable. I was confused at what was taking place and why Merle was under the rubble. I know me not being on void has to do with it, but it's always good to make sure that we understand what's going on in the setting or the premise. I like that we get to see Tsumi still willing to help dispite her condition. Fukuro: You have great linework, great use of contrast, great limited palette instead of the boding black and white. You also have a great eye for choosing shots. You can always push the acting a little bit more. I want you to ask yourself if the dutch angle was really necessary in the first panel. I like how you handled Tsumi and used her almost more of a lead role in your story, it fits Taylor's narrative in a way that even if he lost this battle, this would make for a good reference point to showcase Tsumi's struggle. I also think you should look into how improve drawing ellipses. Scott Robertson and Feng Zhu and many others have simple videos for that!

I'm starting to feel really bad for Tsumi DX

@taylor I feel this is your strongest entry of the recent spat of of one weekers. You still suffer from rather simple backgrounds that make more detailed things like faces and the bench stand out. But again, I feel this is a matter of you not having the time what with making one weeker battles. On the positive, I love the expressions in this and the storytelling was clear and flowed well with previous comics. @Fu I really like how you worked with the solid spotblacks, that skull panel was gnarly. I was a bit confused as what happened with the first panel, that transition/flow could have been smoother between page 1 and 2. But that is really my only criticism. What you can achieve in one week keeps impressive me.

@Taylor Hmm, from what I can tell, it looks like you put more effort into your backgrounds, and maybe even a bit more into your coloring this battle as well! Good job! I do think though that coloring is worth some more work regardless, especially when it comes to picking palettes, because sometimes your choices are pretty dull, and honestly, I feel like if you push yourself more they could be so much better! This is probably my favorite comic from you, since you started battling so often, however I feel like your third page had a rather bizarre composition error, with how one panel later you see Tsumi's arm stuck out with a weapon in hand. I don't really think that worked too well at that part. @Fu I really like your color scheme, but I do feel your opponent's character was kind of lost in this comic. Until I saw them sitting next to eachother, I thought they were the same person, and then it took me awhile to realize which one was Tsumi. That however is my only real issue, I thought your comic was lovely artwise, and good job! OwO/

Uploaded too~ Now I got to go to bed since I have to wake up for work in... 2 and a half hours.

Uploaded! Decided to experiment a little and work with a monochrome scheme using Mariko Tamaki's 'This One Summer' as a base influence. Would recommend the novel 10/10

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