Tay: Split parallelism like this is always a super novel and interesting way of developing a story, and the way you've depicted Jane is really fun! But something really doesn't feel impactful about it. The first two and a half pages are pretty slow and light build-up to some sort of conflict between the two—they're going in opposite directions, after all, with entirely opposite viewpoints about their duty—and then the final panel is basically just telling me "and then they did the thing and it went okay." I'm not sure what about it is making me feel that way, but it just isn't satisfying to me. And I guess in that way, it didn't feel like anything happened?
Kent: I really do like how much storyline and development you can push into so few pages, even so much that you kind of had room to spare in your last page; that sort of density is something I'm a fan of. The plot itself is pretty smart, having Tsumi's whole character in mind. Something about Jane's first line in page 2 panel 6 is really entertaining. It's just really solid, and I'd like to see what happens after Tsumi leaves her lupine friends IN THE DUST to head to VARIOUS EXOTIC LOCALES AROUND THE WORLD!
Thanks so much kent! Your comic was awesome~ and I sincerely appreciate that you went back and did so much with Tsumi's story. It means a lot to me to know what happened back in upheaval was interesting enough to bring up again. ^_^
I'm glad you lined Jane's wire trick. Tried to think of something for how a ex-spy might fall back into an old habit. Namely, looking sexy while saving peoples lives. hehe.
Thanks for the challenge OtakuTaylor! I lobe drawing Tsumi and hope I did her justice!
I love your use of Jane--rappelling down in just a towel is definitely something Jane would do! :) I thought you had some good perspective use too. Great job!
Ah, sorry guys. I guess I didn't realize how much stuff I tried to imply happened that didn't come across. Especially with the lead in from the previous comic. To clarify: Tsumi's outfit comes from her being a member of Wulf, and it was introduced in the summer collab, though it's abilities are being first demonstrated here. And her being left behind was because in the previous comic she had collapsed, and was still recovering. Both things I should have tried to communicate better.
OK LET'S DIG INTO THIS!
TAYLOR--Your visuals are pretty good, but I don't quite grasp what's going on. I know this is following right after your round with Gossamer Swan, but why can't Tsumi leave with the rest of WULF? Do they not notice that she's gone from their ranks?
But that's a good use of her barrier ability to trampoline to the inter-dimensional rift in the sky. That was some smart thinking!
KENT-- I like that you used Tsumi's mortality as a drive to approach Jane's workplace. I like that Jane Blonde extended a hand out to her to create a greater impact on the world as a do-gooder. And I like that Tsumi decided herself to forgive her sister for such a high-stress situation that would cause a deep rift between them. It played to my sensitive side pretty dang well.
I would have liked to have seen the actual closure between the sisters, tho. Tsumi's time is limited.
@Otakutaylor
I actually genuinely wonder what that outfit Tsumi has is for. I get the feeling the story in the comics you've been making, need a lot of prior knowledge from some of her older comics. As a result I don't think I got as much enjoyment as other people. You clearly have a really good grasp on anatomy and story telling and the like and its super impressive, but I feel like your coloring could use some work. A lot of the comics look very dull, but then you see one of the main characters who are incredibly bright. The palettes don't hurt my eyes, but I feel like they could definitely use work. I think if you research and experiment with coloring, it'd really help you even figure out ways to use it to bring more impact into your work, and make things stand out more. But yeah again, its really impressive to see how you draw musculature, and I'm pretty amazed by your skill at that.
Mister Kent,
I actually really like your compositions for the pages, and your usage of perspective is immensely impressive. I feel like some things to work on would be your line width. It varies a lot at times, but not always in a good way. For example on page two, at the top right, the lines are WAY too thick, and its a huge contrast to other pages. It may be something good to play with, but either way your comic was pretty neat to see.
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