Energy: Wow, that got serious and fast. TBH, I actually really like the stark, high contrast look of the black and white section. It fits the kill or be killed subject matter, and dark magical girls. Although, I must admit the setup almost seemed humorous the way you staged it (sitting for a nice pizza when some guy gets stabbed by the local dark magical girl. What's her problem, man?). Now that we have a situation that uses it, it's clear you need to work on your scale. If the girls are sitting that close to the window, then they shouldn't appear so small while the figures outside appear so large. As for the story, why was Satin chasing that guy down? Was it his green shirt? Even the resolution to the fight seems a bit easy for the ferocity with which it started. I love that you have big, ambitious ideas and go for them. No better way to work on these things, right?
Kura: Woooah, with all the cuteness involving Lily, I almost forgot how ruthless Satin was. I love how your comics go from cute to deadly, and I especially love the top panel of page 5. Did she kill her?
energy: BRAH this is a GOOD COMIC! Nice classic magical girls battle action utilizing both their powers. I wish you had shown the glass shattering more when Satin dragged kazue through the window. It looses some of the impact. some glass fragments flying about would have helped sell that. Youve got good establishing shots to set the scene and i actually really like the greyscales you put in the latter half for depth. This was great from you!
Kura: OH MANNNN some classic satin action with some new plot elements!! i love seeing her go back to her old ways. Shes killed DOZENS of magical girls in the past and its fantastic to see her kill someone whose been so important to Kazue's story, what a great new element for your opponent! Like the others i DO wish I had a little more info on how Satin and meridia got together, felt a bit glossed over but i cant wait to see how in the future Meridia handles Satin and how the relationship differs from Satin's with Lily. Art is excellent as usual, love your crisp lines and use of black, Eva's hanging panel was fantastically dramatic. This super makes me want a satin v lily v meridia v kazue magical girls fight!! (tag team??)
I am a bit behind on catching up with the story thus far. But Kura, I love how dark the comic were only for it to end on that rather humerous but morbid note. YOur pacing is good as always, and I love the panel where satins "tentacle" flies out. I wonder if putting it to thee left a might have been even better?
Energy: You are improving more and more. Its supernice to see you keep up the grind. I say, buckle down and work on proportions and varying body structures and body types next.
Energy:
A shame it wasn’t fully coloured, but I do like your greyscale work here. I also like that you’re experimenting more with posing and trying out some camera angles. Storywise, I think this is one of your better written comics.
However, I do have some nitpicks over this so please bear with me here.
Perspective still needs a lot of work. Some characters looked either too small, were too far away from each other or not just lined up right with the environment, such as the street view in the window. You went for some interesting panel layouts, but I feel like some of the compositions didn’t work well as they made some scenes hard to read clearly or were weirdly cut off at parts. A good example of this are Pages 5 & 6, where some character’s looked oddly cut off, making it look as though you didn’t want to bother drawing the whole pose or certain body parts. And some panels had a bit too much room, especially the headshot panels. With all that room to spare, you could have placed the speech bubbles in them instead of squishing them into a teeny spot.
I mentioned this earlier, but you really NEED to start incorporating more visual and sound effects in your action scenes. They fell flat due to the lack of these elements. Try using speedlines for running, jumps, swings and what not, and other effects like cracked and shattered glass. Show your readers some thrill and excitement going on in those scenes. It can be tricky pulling them off right and does take time and effort, but drawing in effects can really help give your action scenes more weight and impact to them.
Majikura:
You always have such clean, crisp and lively lifework. I think if you had added some tonework to go with your inks, it would make your comic pop out even more beautifully. Can I say that I just love how crazy Satin is here, and just how far she was willing to go. I hope we get to see more of her in the near future.
I really liked your story, though I was left wanting just a bit more. Mostly on how and when this happened that lead to this situation, but that’s my only main gripe with it. I wish I had more to add on here, but I really can’t think of what else to add.
Overall great work, both of you! Keep it up ~
Funnily enough, It was Energy who did a more classical Satin than Majikura who went for a new direction (or an old one, since Satin is going back to her bad habits in Maj's story) and In both comic I feel like one page is missing.
Energy, when someone is pulled from the inside of a pizza place and through a window, I expect, well, a broken window, with glass shards and breaking noise.
Maji, your comic leave me a bit in the dust. When exactly Meridia (if that's her?) and Satin became an item, and how the nvcpd targeting her once more prompted Satin to go back to her old ways?
Energy,
This actually is my favorite work of yours I've seen so far. I think the story was actually pretty enjoyable and it impressed me! It was also cool to see how you cameoed some other members' characters. At times your action kind of caught me offguard to be honest, the whole battle scene, I'm not entirely sure what happened, and on the last two pages I had a tiny bit of trouble determining who was who but still your comic seems really nice! I do however feel like, if you're going to keep doing colored comics, it may suit you well to research color theory a bit, your greyscales actually looked really nice though!
Kura,
I'm not gonna lie, the page sizing really threw me off when trying to read this comic, it made a lot of stuff more confusing, and not only that, all the pages seemed to be a bit too big, but when I looked past that, your comic was very impressive! The battle scene was really clear to look through, and the composition of the pages worked out really well! I haven't seen anything with this character of yours before, but she seems pretty interesting! The accent kind of pulled me a bit out of immersion from the story, but regardless this was still really well done and enjoyable!
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