@Hellis Hot damn dude, always glad to see ya pushing the envelope on what you can do with your comics. It's your first one-weeker, and it's fantastic to see ya not just do a 3-page cop out. So, already an A for effort.
Honestly the big note here would be something you could attribute to the time constraints: Sloppy/Inconsistency. But that's not really a bad thing at this point. You seemed to wanna pull off a fully-rendered comic in such a short time, and, as such, it sorta falls apart at the seams. Coloring outside the lines, and lineweight ranging from Not Bad to Scratchy.
In the future, time constraints oughta push you towards making A Lot from A Little, rather than Making A Lot As Fast As Possible.
Your panelling/draftsmanship is a bit all over the place, as a general note. You seem to favor floating and stacking panels, which lack a real structure. The approach is seen a lot in modern mainstream comics and sorta bleeds out from there. But realistically, even something like Watchmen had a 9-panel-grid most of the time. Come to think of it, grab a copy of it for that, but also for doing limited-palette work, which really lends itself to shorter deadlines.
For writing, it's solid enough. It relies on us, the readers, already knowing a fair amount about the two characters, so I'm not sure how well it'll hold up in a year or so to the next batch of voiders. But again, that can just be a time constraint thing, though explaining the pieces you're gonna use before you use em goes a long way.
As a final side note: Vary your faces. Matilda and The Fool shouldn't have matching facial features or geometry. If you shave em down and take away the scars, we should still be able to know whose who immediately. Doing little design sketches beforehand helds hammer down the differences that need pushing.
@Fu
I'll get the obvious stuff outta the way cause it's consistent across your work: I absolutely love your color choices and can drink up these shades all day every day. Plus your constant battling means you're always looking to improve and do more, which is an admirable trait.
Writing-wise, you've actually got the exact opposite issue from Hellis *which is interesting*. Whereas Hellis relied on a lot of prior-knowledge, yours feels like it's all prior knowledge. Like it's all setup for something else. Doing a quick browse of your comics recently, I can see this is a bit of a trend. The last fight with Jessie Valley being presumably what got The Fool here in the first place. Personally, I'm a bit divided. On the one hand, I'd like to commend you for keeping a continuity going. On the other hand, I'd like to tell you to reign in it and focus on more self-contained stories that dont feel like a To Be Continued. Cause your setup's consistently rad, but I'd like to see an arc come to an end.
I've got no real huge crit on the art, mostly because it was all done in a week, and any wobblyness can be chalked up to being in a hurry. So overall, dank on that front.
Since this one is pretty much done. Thank you Fu for this fight. I have no idea what blackmagic lets you make such a complete comic in such a short time but I absolutely adore how you draw Matilda.
A one weeker was not something I saw myself attempting anytime soon when I finally committed, yet here I am. It was a learning experience to be sure, and I certeinly learned what I can't do. I don't think I'll be doing any one weekers untill SDT rolls around.
Thank you everyone for your critique and comments.
Nice synchronicity going on!
Hellis: you've really upgraded from previous comics, keep heeding the advice of critiques and keep on drawing and you'll naturally keep getting better
Fukur0: the only thing that really distracted me was that big rock that was behind Matilda when she finds the Fool; it was really noticeable how its texture changed fundamentally from panel to panel. What you were doing with the broader strokes in the smaller panels is probably what you shoulda gone with for the larger ones as well to make it easier to keep consistent. Consider that this is my biggest issue a sign that it's a pretty well put together comic otherwise~
Good job y'all
Did yall plan this kind of harmony? even down to the thumbnails haha!
hellis: i feel like you can still be a lil more creative with your colour choices to really bring out the atmosphere, maybe some cooler tones like more blues or purples or greens or somethin. I dont love how i can see the brush strokes when you shade, I would advise either a harder or a softer brush. Love the story though, youve got some great emotions. the angle on page four is very ambitious and I love the light explosion effect at the bottom of the page. Also A+ shipping =D
Fu: you draw the cutest Matilda omg. i LOVE the soft pink palette for this, gives a nice hopeful vibe. Fool looks HORRIFIC when we first see her washed up but i feel like wish some darker shading or some bruising or scarring effects that could have been pushed more. First panel of page 4 has a 180 flip. im bein a bit nitpicky here at this point, overall i LOVED it. I cant believe you healed Fool now ill just have to START ALL OVER in scarring her >=D I loved her reaction and the emotion at the end. This was a very surprising comic and i cant ait to see where her story goes from here!
This was wonderful and I liked the theme of hope!
@hellis PAGE 4 IS SO nice and cinematic. I really appreciate that shot. There was a lot of good movement, and only a few text typos. I already talked to you about some coloring suggestions and how to use more layers with those, so this is just a quick reminder! I will note that the Fool seemed a little bit too happy for hope from a stranger, given how her character normally is, so that made it feel a bit off. Still a very good comic and I really want to see more of those great angles and movements from you!
@fu very cute! nice consistency between the characters!!!!!!! (really i'm envious!) there was also a typo on the first page, in "affirmative". overall, i think your use of the unwanted gift plot worked out really well here, it makes me feel bad for both characters. very effective.
You guys did super duper good each! Wow!
Hellis, I loved your portrayal of action, it looked like it must've been a ton of work to nail all of that, and in my mind, a lot of it read really well in terms of what was going on. Those emotions that you put into it, looked like they had quite a bit of genuine feeling in them! I also think that it's really clear how much effort you put into this, and you did a great job!!
Fukur0, Imma just say it, I love your art style, and your comic had a certain harmony about it, if everything seemed to fit together perfectly, and the colors were absolutely lovely. It was really impressive to say the least!
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