Thank you everyone for reading and for the lovely comments & crits! I'm glad it was enjoyable.
A big thanks to Yarn too- your comic turned out fantastic and I totally loved it.
Thanks for the great battle!
Yarn - I absolutely love the character building and story in this comic. Seeing Miwesa grow and learn new ghostly abilities really helps push her in the right direction. I really enjoy your panel layout and the way they progress with how the story is written too. I can definitely see how much you have improved over the little time you have been here and it gets me super stoked. I would say just work a bit more on cleaning up your shots and drawing more interesting perspective. I see you going out of your comfort zone and its showing major improvement. Keep drawing. Keep killing it.
Zee - The colors of this comic are absolutely gorgeous. You have always had colors under your thumb and I love seeing the way you paint a background. It's fucking wild. I love the bright green and all shades of purple. Your art is something I can't critique because you're an animal in that department, but your writing leaves me feeling a little empty. Don't get me wrong, this is an extremely strong comic, but some parts felt drawn out while others felt rushed. I do enjoy the route you took with how both characters interact with each other, but I think there was room for a much stronger ending. It's hard to write it down here, but feel free to message me sometime and we can shoot the shit over what I am getting at!
Good work on both ends, these comics were fucking solid!
Yarn: possession is nice because it is useful AND a classic ghost/poltergeist skillset !! her interaction with the world be easier now...oh gosh the woman inside joke i cracked a rib ^^
...SNOOOOOW WHY GONE SO YOUNG
Zee: ...why do Greys have Ghostbuster tech??? Does....DO ALIENS GOHST EXIST !? OH GOD WHAT A TWIST take that shamyalan
...the last part of your comic gives me the funk, tho, poor miwesa
Yarn: Great character development! I'm 100% interested to see where this takes the otherwise meek Miwesa, I wonder what other tricks she has up her sleeve :3c Your work is looking really nice and still 'traditional' but there is a little bit of a disconnect between trad work and finished digitally coloured products- if you'd like any tips on keeping digital work feeling traditional feel free to hmu any time :)
Zee: ZEEEEEE yes um yes? yes. This is the colours are yeah the finish on the backgrounds just yes? Yes. This made miwesa situation feel so sad and desolate in a lovely way. The colours have me all hyped for halloween. The creepy tree and the beam of light at the end is on point. The softer background lines you use are so powerful. You took two spooky tm characters, gave them a good setting but told a surprising story considering - great stuff!
Yarn: It's exciting to see Miwesa finally get some cool ghost powers she can abuse! It's kind of happenstance this came out on the same day as Alouisse's comic where the same supernatural possession half-and-half deal happens to Adwell, but I really like how you're pushing her having precisely half of Grey's body. The messed up eyelids are great. Grey's final gag at the end there is good but a bit forced, in that it seems weird he'd specifically care about Miwesa's gender? Seeing that he literally just. Did a Google search on her name. Is pretty high quality. Although I don't think it has the dramatic sting you're hoping for?
Zee: Stunning, AS ALWAYS!!! I especially love how spectrometer!Miwesa looks, very nicely colored! Super heartbreaking ending, but it's only natural considering how terrible awful Grey is! I do really wish his motives for like, suddenly in the middle of the night HAVING to capture a ghost, were explained at all though, because it feels really random that his computer would just tell him to do that. I don't know how this particularly develops Grey, I guess more relevantly.
yarn: ghost possession! what a fun idea! I like the cold and gloomy colours in the atmosphere. Its good to see Miwesa taking an active part in controlling her own destiny and the ending left on an intriguing note that leaves me curious for more~ I love that you draw traditionally but i think theres places the art could be cleaned up a bit more- theres some streaky spots in your blacks, and your colours sometimes run out of or dont totally fill your lineart. This is definitely a big improvement though! Miwesa is so cute!
zee: this has gotta be like.... one of the most amazingly drawn comics ive ever seen! the colours! the expressions! the atmosphere! your effects work is professional grade, your backgrounds are top notch, that AMAZINGLY HORRIFYING fire panel and the cold, sad emptiness of the last page, i would honestly be terrified to battle you. I loved that Grey treated Miwesa as nothing more than a specimen but it took me a moment to realize he couldnt actually hear her. I think i would have liked, story-wise, slightly more from Grey's perspective? but thats me being nitpicky. This is visually one of my all time favorite comics on the site.
Yarnwitch: Aaa I really love the textured feel to your lines and colours here, it has a nice traditional feel to it! The glowy colours help balance the dark colours and helps the eye move smoothly from one panel to panel.
You had some nice varying camera angles, but I think your comic would have benefited from pulling the camera back a bit more often, especially to establish how much space there was in the more actiony panels. You had lovely large panels of closeups but it had me wanting some room to breath after that! Still, this was a really nice comic and I enjoyed how you wrote the interactions between Grey and Miwesa <3
Zee: Oh my gosh Zee, the painterly blend for your backgrounds are so beautiful, how you manage to keep a cell-shadey feel for the figures but with subtle gradients and soft glows, really adds to the atmosphere! Page 5's establishing shot was especially pretty!! Your speech bubbles are definitely a big improvement compared to your much earlier comics, the pages flowed really well and I liked how the story concluded--I think you conveyed the different perspectives for both of the characters well. I love it!
[quote]yay new pet
It's the recently deceased snow! I dont think she's a pet. Just a fun cameo. I'll try to make it clearer if it do something like this again.
These comics looked great I loved how silly yours was Yarn and yay new pet and powers and Zee yours was really beautiful but still sad and im glad it ends on a somber note im glad we get to see Grey do his job and scout and do research on the planet without being caught up in a lot of the drama of other characters this is when I feel the character is most himself fun and curious.
yarnwitch: hey these are pretty strong! some nice experimenting with panels and good work with lines and filling. I like the thickening of the plot and am curious to what it can lead to next. I think that it's lacking a bit of is strong highlights. So much of this is in the dark that I would expect much stronger contrast of lights and shadows happening on all the characters.
zee: no fooling, to me, this is without a doubt, one of my favorite comics here, and one of the best looking comics ever produced on the site. The visuals are professional grade, the story, a tale of the intangible barrier between knowledge and the unknown and how it impedes genuine connection, left me thinking about it long after reading. It's charming and tense and heartfelt and powerful. If you haven't yet been picked up by a company that is criminal and if you were to drop all void related activity and get started with your career right now I have 100% confidence you will sail to success. A++
Yarn: I like the direction you took for this. The possession mechanic will be a nice storytelling device for you to use in the future. I enjoyed the little twist of the knife at the end there. Miweza is shaping up to be more and more intriguin.
Zee: Where do I sign up for learning how to work colors like that? I am in love with the way you handle stuff like light up screen. Your style looks like it was taken from a animated series of my childhood or something. The story was nice and concise although I feel you could have pushed it a bit further. It didn't really do much for Grey development wise.
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