KURA- You know your strengths and that's action and combat. This comic didn't disappoint in delivering that. Even with the rushed inks and quality, I think it kinda works in some of the more fast paced panels. It sorta suggest a blur of motion or action so dizzying it can't be fully rendered.
I see Pita's reasoning around more tones, but I rather liked that you knew where the reader's eye was gonna be and just focused on the characters. It seemed you were rushed for time so you it looks like you hit the stuff that mattered. This comic totally makes this ol' Raptor gal look like a fun time and I totally wanna battle her.
WINGRIDER- I get the feeling English isn't your first language and honestly, that was kinda ok for this comic. Zariah's broken English borking her snappy one liners, and muddling things here and there was actually kinda charming! I fully recommend having a buddy proofread your work, but I certainly hope you keep this tone for your character as I found myself smiling at her net jumbled speak.
Comics wise, you got alotta space. So much space panel to pane. You definitely dig your wide shots. Don't be afraid to get close and dirty with some angles. Especially when it comes to the fighting as I feel it'd give us a better feel of the tension and intensity between these two.
Kura: welcome back!! i missed your comics! i love the energy in this and the fight poses are great, especially the stances you give Kreta! the biting at the end was really unexpected and funny! I can see where you rushed the first page a bit but i commend you for getting it done despite the time crunch, i think the cityscape looks pretty good! my biggest complaint is the same as pita and pyras, the flow of action confused what direction i should be reading for a moment there.
wingrider: youre getting much better at tones! but i think you should use more blacks to go with it, more variety in your inking to give greater depth and some spot blacks to really give it weight. backgrounds tend to be a bit blank, if you use more blacks on the main action you can more easily hide the bg in tones~ i like the action poses but the expressions are a little static.
more kung fu girls please!
Kura: Great to see you back on the page- Already aware that your time ended up short for this comic so no worries about that; the anatomy tends to be good overall but we've got some awkward crotches in the final panel. I myself in my current battle am finding conflicting action flow the way Pita is describing, we'll naturally be reading left to right so are we getting the effect we want if the superspeed after-image flow of action is moving right to left instead? For me, I decided I'm gonna reverse the placement of the characters, and that might have helped here as well to swap Kreta's right-to-left assault to left-to-right, though it depends on what you want to be seen first i suppose. In page 3, 3rd panel, watch out with your quick black shading; one of Kreta's after images ended up looking like having really erect nipples for an instant
wingrider: welcome to Void and commendable first fight here! Alot of your mistakes here will go away with more practice so really keep drawing and keep absorbing knowledge. One thing you wanna work on right away though is word placement. Understand that the eye naturally reads left-to-right-up-to-down and you need your word bubbles to be guided on that path. The last page is the biggest issue; Panel 3 looks like Zariah might say "yep" first before Kreta questions her. And the next panel, the placement is really confusing: I assume you want it to be a back and forth, but just having the disjointed balloons doesn't tell the audience that. That just means there's a space between the two thoughts/sentences. I wouldn't say stacking the back and forth directly is the perfect way to fix it but you definitely need to space out each sentence and make sure the eye has a clean imaginary railroad from one sentence to the other. Also keep in mind that you don't have to use a word balloon tail every time, if you need to stack and you don't want word balloon tails and connectors tangling up everywhere. If there are only 2 people in the scene the reader can logically figure out who is speaking in the back and forth without needing a tail past the first two spoken lines.
Hope to see more from both of you soon (and I can't wait to get in on some wuxia fun myself in the future)
good show shaf. I would recommend having more shots of both characters in the same panel...especially on establishing shots. It's actually hard to tell that Kreta is a whole foot taller than Zariah in some cases. Hell you can push the angle and just make Kreta appear even bigger than she's supposed to for emphasis.
RAPTOR
Snappy action, good motion blurs to capture your movement, and that ending sure had some bite to it! But your background needs some varying tones--I refuse to believe everything's the same color, especially when there was tones given to the main characters to help them pop out.
I also had trouble with the flow of the comic--I started reading right-to-left since that seem to be the direction the fight was going, and it made sense for a while until the last page. When reading like that, Zariah reacts before getting bit.
If I read it left-to-right, it feels like I'm watching this fight happen in reverse.
STREAMER
The empty space has been noted, so I'll recommend that you vary up your camera angles. Right now the fighting is framed in a wide shot. This is disconnecting from the viewer. There's a delicate balance to varying camera shots so the audience remains engaged AND nothing is hidden. And this can be explained in-comic with the droid camera Zariah uses to stream outside of her home. Coordination is key to battle shots, and I look forward to the kind of choreography you can create with this is mind.
Both comics were good!
Majikura: Good action and composition, the end was hilarious and fit with someone who's themed after a raptor, but Zariah's thigh gap looks weird.
Wing: Nice debut comic, but it feels like there's a lot of empty white space. Your lines could use more variation in thickness too.
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