SPOON: Eh whaaa I can't really say no bad shit man.
I love the character designs, looking very early-Sophie Campbell (and she is my no 1).
Nice wee bite size story, I guess not a lot happens in it - feels more like an introduction of the characters than anything else. Page one sorta introduces them and page two and three are like: and here is how their powers work. I am not very touched or upset about the demise of the other char cos like, there was not enough of them for me to build any kind of attachment to them? Or care?
Art: A1, story: sorta C
With 5 hours to go, I feel comfortable posting about this now.
I ended up with some really washed out colors from the scanner, so a lot of it is not quite the way I wanted, but REGARDLESS! I am pleased with how it came out.
The "Nice Dodge" was supposed to be for her being unable to be slimed by a fish bucket. I figured the old docks had some sort of fish market area, and tried to work that guess in. I will try to make those sorts of details more clear in the future! As well as the contract cuff! I really appreciate the feedback on all of that. The 3 page challenge was DEFINITELY a challenge! If I were to do it again, I'd try to reduce the complication of the story and have more action scenes. Which leads me to:
KOZI I LOVE YOURS AND im really happy this is the one being voted as winning, cause the way I'm doing Miwesa, this makes your story canon. I had a relatively easy time figuring out what was going on with what you were doing, but I do think the unfinished business thing wasn't terribly clear (even if I know what it was!). I wish I had your coloring skills, and I am inspired by you to try a limited palette next time!
ALSO WHAT IS THE STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I NEED MORE.
yarnwitch you already got a whole week's worth of my input, congratulations on this cool comic and make sure to practice the new things you've learned during this battle!
Kozispoon: I guess I'm in the minority here, I think I pretty much understood what was happening throughout your comic and I like~ I would have used a different font for the SHUNK noise, the one chosen doesn't really feel as gruesome as it could be.
Keep up the good work everyone
Kozi: Your color palete is beautiful! I love me those purpleeessss. It's good to know a bit more of Remy's backstory, even if just a really small glance.
yarnwitch: I liked your take on the story, a bit more lighthearted. (The guy in the last panel of page 2 made me laugh) Are those watercolors? They really outstand, I enjoy them!
This was an interesting challenge you put to yourselves, 3 pages max.
kozisppon : lots of things happening o_o I am sorta lost as to whats the focus of the comic. (playing with the purple flaming stake, killing...uh zombies? )
yarnwitch: I like the flow of the comic :3 you got me liking it at the end....what contratct would he make miwesa do a return favor.
Kozi : aaaah ! finally we see that boy at work! And such a fiend he is ! i like that ! really like the limited plette, and much like Pita, i think that while that course you took with Remy here is good, we'll need more details about the killings. like: is it random or do they have specific targets in mind?
Yarn: hey it rminds me of that movie with a phone that communicates with ghosts ^^ good idea here ! well it's still restricted in a sense but nice beginning ! your watercolors are still gorgeous !
I'm pretty much parroting previous comments when I say there are issues with writing and consistency with Kozi and Yarn's entries, respectively.
KOZI--I like the limited palette you're working with. That magenta-pink gives off that special voodoo vibe that Remy's about, and I see we got another element introduced to this character with the floating number (which I suspect to be a death count), but there needs to be some clarification soon as to what's going on. Remy's character page talks about a curse and that he's seeking help from his witch friend here, but we need to know to what end justifies this killing.
YARN-- Your story was easier to follow, and I like that you went the route of a basic interaction. Good on ya for giving a solution to one of Miwesa's communication obstacles, but I'm also feeling slight dread as to what sort of favor Remy will be asking of our little specter in the future.
My main concern here is the consistency. I understand from the sudden appearance of the cuff marks the deal she's made with Remy, and it's there in the hand clasp panel before, but I had to squint to see it. Keep subtle touches subtle, but important visual elements in a story need to be brought to the attention of the viewer's eye. Maybe a darker outline or tints of blue to complement the warm glow would make the cuff better known to avoid confusion
I'm also not sure what's happening in the second panel of the first page for Remy to comment on a nice dodge...
Kozi: destoyer of purity you are, you gunnin for every innocent maiden on the site? XD Love love LOVE the art in this. the limited, contrasting colours, the textures, the angles, SO good. I almost feel though like to keep to the page count you had to cut perhaps TOO much actual story out. I cant understand Remy at all- I dont know what hes killing people for, what the burning stake does, why the need souls to the point its less mysterious and more off-putting. Also, did they see her become a ghost at the end? If they didnt, how did they know, and if they did, Remy should damn well be able to guess what her unfinished business was, she was just murdered most violently XD BUT I will be more forgiving coz for all the offsite shitposting we do with Remy this is TECHNICALLY his first battle so youre still building an air of mystery. (I was gonna ask about the number 3 but on a second read through i think i get it and thats pretty cool). Okay more Remy comics now please yes.
Yarn: I love how you paint Miwesa's transparency! You make Remy so delightfully sinister which is a great contrast to Miwesa's innocent trust! Your story i thought was clearer, to the point but theres some stuff that got me lost. His cleaning the blood off the phone with paper and then burning it was difficult to read at first cuz all these things (the phone, paper and match) were just suddenly in his hands, maybe a shot of him reaching into his pocket or ...some kinda summoning spell or something might have helped clear that up, also where'd that cuff on her wrist come from? It snuck in there in page 2 all ninja-like. Even if its something Miwesa doesnt notice, perhaps you could have established its sudden appearance more clearly to the reader or it sort of reads like a continuity error. -Oh shit wait a second the pin on her blouse changes too lol okay THAT one is cool because its subtle, but the cuff feels like sort of a big change that should maybe have been acknowledged. Anyways yeah so your biggest thing is a couple more smaller action panels may be needed so it looks less jumpy but i like the story!
this was a super intresting fight I love both sides and I think both did a really amazing job showing the opponent's characters
Kozie the art was amazing, and the mystery for it was pretty fun as well, Im not entirely sure what happened at the end but the visuals for it were really intresting, I guess this was a hard plot to balance what information was given out and what to keep a mystery to the viewer.
Yarn, I really enjoyed the concept of this one I like the idea of a phone for the dead and Remy burning it as an offering was a super neat idea as well, though I wish I got to see what a ghost phone does though, hopefully we get to see how that works in the future because I love the concept of it.
All done and uploaded! :)
Yarnwitch and I agreed on giving the three page comic challenge a try to see if we could tell a full fledged story in a short span. Hope we succeeded. Happy reading!
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