Congratulations, Greg. As I already said to you personally, I really like your choice to inkwash. I think it fits your style well. And although people have said the story was a bit predictable, this is actually the first comic where Deathwish was really portrayed as an incidental hero and I think you did it perfectly. The comedy beats hit well. The only bit of confusion for me, was if the criminal's car initially flipped over or continued driving, but that was cleared up soon enough.
Thank you all for the input. I need to work on my work-flow and time management to get passed the openness of the panels, simple as that. I'll also try and be a little more intentional with my coloring next time. Perhaps one day I'll not procrastinate as much and have a fully colored comic, though I've always been a fan of black and white.
For those who were confused about the old woman: Herald is the woman's husband. He is dead with the sheet over his head in the adjacent bed. The doctor comments about the morgue and Deathwish also points at him trying to make the woman realize. She is a bit confused, and maybe a bit blind too. That's why I titled the comic "Leading the Blind" in reference to the saying "the blind leading the blind." Perhaps this is something more filled out panels would have helped with.
GREGLY- Really nice angles and vantage points panel to panel -especially during the police chase scenes. I'm so glad to see some personality to backgrounds and the world these folks are tromping around in. I especially dug your inkwash/watercolors for this comic too- maybe I'm still buzzing off inktober, but it gave the comic a nice olden timey throwback vibe.
I'll admit, I see what you were going for with Deathwish simply thrusting himself into trouble and inadvertently helping out Gwen and Regi do their job, but I wish there was more personality to your opponent in your comic. I feel I got to know the theives who were making a break for it better than I did Deathwish.
SLOPPYBOTTOM- Fro ma purely aesthetic standpoint, I appreciate the time you take out to make 'comic' covers for your battles. It really gets you in the mood to 'flip' this issue open to see what misadventures Deathwish is up to next. Seeing you poke fun at her witchiness with the almost Harry Potter spell and her policeness by being an evidence planting cop was a good laugh. It's totally bonkers to see this bizarro version of Gwen in your comic. I think you and your opponent kind of had the same issue in that your supporting cast was more interesting to me. The old lady became more of a focus than Deathwish himself, or his interaction with your opponent.
Gregly: That was pretty cute and goofy. And I'll say I really appreciated what you were goin' for. You're not afraid to whip the camera around and go for the weird angles. And that's an absolutely wonderful trait to have. Plus, you're working traditionally it seems; which again, bonus points for that. I feel like your two big areas that need improving are your polish and your dialogue. Because the bare bones of good storytelling are really there. You've got a solid foundation with perspective and pacing and figures and composition. But the hardest part is always bridging that last 20% to pro-tier. And I'm not talkin about adding more detail; but adding more confidence. Your lines read a bit non-committal, or just-passing. Singular large strokes with weight difference would really compliment your style well. Especially if you look at something like David Mazzuchelli's "City Of Glass" adaptation (Which you 100% should). And I also mentioned dialouge, mostly because you're doing a lot of narration here. Like, characters narrating what they're seeing or doing. And I can understand wanting to be clear as possible, but there's a line where it just becomes too much, and staying on the right side of that line can be tricky.
Sloppy: Like everyone's said: Rad linework! And I really dig a most of the faces, especially Deathwish's throughout the whole piece. The blankness has been touched on, but honestly I don't see it as too much of an issue. Everything reads clearly and the implications are there for a lot of stuff. Right now, I'll chalk it up to a time issue. But that being said, I'd highly recommend becoming more adventurous with your use of black. Because sticking with black and white is totally a thing you can do; and if thats where you're comfortable for now, you've got my blessing. But using black can also help keep things super simple and legible without adding much time or detail. Like, take a gander at some "Love and Rockets" once and a while. Sure, it's top-tier black and white, but really take note of where each panel directs your eye, and how contrast is really important in that. Also, rule out your dialogue before you handletter.
Gregly: the whole thing felt like one of those old tex avery. Fun, dynamic, entertaining!! Poor Deathwish, his mishaps serves the community !
Sloppy: I was a bit confused at first. So much blank spaces.
Gregly: Your storytelling is so clear and dynamic, and all the gags were really well staged. I think that your style could use some polishing with more consistent use of things like perspective grids and rulers. I agree with others that the grayscale washes could have been better, but I think that will come with practice. I really like when your style is colored, so if you're going to continue experimenting with ink washes, I think you should try using some colored inks or even watercolor. I love how much energy you put into your character acting C:
SloppyBottom: I like the flowing style of your inking, but I agree with others that the disconnectedness of the lines and sparseness of the backgrounds gives it an unfinished feel. I liked how you solved this in your comic for the Round 2 Invitational, by putting in spot blacks and some grey tones. It helped close gaps in your linework and had a more finished feel, so I think you might want to experiment more with that, and practice adding more detail to your backgrounds. Also, I was a little confused about the nature of Deathwish's relationship with the old woman. Is that his grandma? I think we needed a little more information at the beginning to introduce her. I like how you wrote her and Deathwish interacting, it is very cute ^_^ (and then quite creepy at the end XD )
Sloppy - I love your expressiveness in the characters. I love the detailing in the old lady face and the characters have a really neat fluid motion. I like the simplicity, though some backgrounds could use just a touch more detail - like add a plant and a light switch or something to page 3s "wall with door". I like the word bubbles and the way the words fit in them. I found it was a struggle to read because the lines didn't connect and I personally found it really irking. The text font is nice but a bit much - it would be nice to have a font that matched the simplicity of the art, not too busy but enough to get the point across. The cover page was okay but the coloring was so many lines going in so many directions, I fee like the color style sort of clashed with the art.
Gregly - The hand beyond the panel. The top down view of the city. Your art style. All things that were super great. Super great. Your comic felt really nostaglic to me, in how they talked and the overall story, it felt like reading an Archie comic. I wasn't super into all the washed-out greyscale stuff, I mean, it works with the text, but to me it feels rushed and smudgey and maybe diminished the overall quality a bit. That's just my feels. Overall, it was really fun to read and the characters are hecka cute looking.
Gregly: First off, hey it's gregly! Awesome to see you back, missed your comics man. I love the clearness of your work, there is nearly no confusion about what is going on, but you also it keep it active and dynamic with a good pace and fun angles. The only moments I'd be careful with is the two times we lose sight of the criminals - ;D - because it looks like their car just crashed over the first time and the second time they're told they're being put under arrest, but no action is actually taken to that effect. The whole shtick of Deatjwish trying to die and Gwen being impressed with his heroism is a little predictable, but the delivery is on point. It's a fun charming comic like we know you can deliver and I hope we'll get more.
Sloppybottom: I absolutely love your character stylisation and line style, it's very fluid and open, though the flip side to that is that you focus them all in specific spaces, making your pictures uneven. Be careful where you leave your white space and where you concentrate your lines. Some background work couldn't hurt either. I can understand it might feel a little challenging with the open lines you got going, but your first page does a pretty good job with just a few elements. You can totally keep it visually light, just think about balance. I am genuinely intrigued to see where you can push that style, so please continue.
Gregly: it's rare to see traditional nowadays but the effort is appreciated, the wash usually works. The overall comic still needs some polish though, leftover pencil marks appear here and there, and the wash isn't as clean with the lines as it could be. If this is your first time trying something like this I'd chalk it up to just inexperience, and with more practice you can get it working better. Don't be afraid to use photoshop to help clean up the material by playing with the levels etc.
SloppyBottom: Great to see Invitationals return! The cover is pretty but be careful with your lines, there are places where the colors of the characters bleed past the lines and it makes it look sloppy. Linework is definitely your strong suit but your pages still feel a little empty, unfinished. You don't have to go all out with colors/grayscale, but more use of black (for hair, for shadows, etc.) would definitely help fill up the scene. I would try and see what black gutters look like with your pages, instead of white.
Keep up the good work guys
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