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This Week on Hoarders

2 Weeks
Regular Match

Comics

This Week on Hoarders
By mortooncian
chat_bubble 7
star star
Jiko Shi
trophy WINNER
Final Score: 7.59
This Week on Hoarders
By Camel
chat_bubble 7
star star
Klepp
Final Score: 7.06

Comments (7)

Rhimwill's avatar
Rhimwill
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Thren: I thought your story was really cute, and you did well showcasing both of Klepp and Jiko's character quirks and powers. You need to use perspective grids, though. Your characters are so cute and expressive, they deserve to be placed in well-organized environments! The staging of your scenes got a little odd throughout the part where Jiko is talking to Klepp through the little kitchen window thing, and I think a lot of that was because the window and the objects like the cupboard and refrigerator that we can see through the window don't quite make sense spatially. Also, this is just a little thing, but, I think it will increase clarity if you put tails on all your speech bubbles. I can see why you left some of the tails off because the arrangement of some of the bubbles made it hard to put a tail in, but it took me a second on those panels to remember who was saying those lines. You don't want readers to get broken out of your narrative, even for a few seconds, so I think you should practice arranging your speech bubbles so that all of them can point to the person they belong to. Camel: I loved the giant monster. That really made me laugh XD I like your loose, sketchy inking style, but there are a lot of places where it still looks too rough, as though the sketchiness is there to hide parts of the drawing that weren't quite finished. I think if you focus on clearly defining the shapes and anatomy of your characters and props when doing your rough sketches, it will help make the sketchy inking look more purposeful and finished. As far as your story goes, it was very charming and you built a nice "where do we go from here?" type atmosphere for Klepp and Jiko's conversation to take place in. However it occurs to me that by the end of the comic, nothing has really changed in either of these characters. It does make for a good buildup comic, but as a standalone comic it would have had a better story arc if their discussion about freedom developed a little more so that by the end Klepp maybe internally makes some decision about what he's going to do next, or thinks differently about his mysterious past because of what Jiko says to him. Good job to both of you! :3

Fred's avatar
Fred
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Listen here people, y'all did good. Thren: did Jiko really need to bring the cleaver out and do that in front of him? Like did she just wanna show off? It seems like that was at risk of freaking him out and fail the rescue for it... Thankfully it seems he was unphasable and in fact didn't even care one bit about this crazy thing that just happened, and even maybe forgot about it because the first thing he offers is the amulet of immortality. I mean, it was a funny moment, but it didn't exactly make sense considering the method of his rescue. Get a clue, klepp. These nitpicks aside though, this was a fantastic entry. Love the intense colours and the cute plush and the charming story and that ROOM. Seriously I want to eat it. It's fabulous. Camel: i certainly like the colours here more, there's a couple odd choices like the purple table, but overall theyre rather pleasant. Those heavier blacks really do well for you and I would have just liked to see push them even more during the comic. I love your first establishing shot, it sets a whole tone for the rest of the comic which is cool. Be careful with your construction and posing, Klepp works well because he's a bit more... amorphous, with his baggy clothes and his watery features, but the others can get kinda wonky, especially Wizzy here, especially in that last page where I don't know what the heck she's doing with her shoulders. The events of the comic are cool though and it's an entertaining read. I like Klepp's resourcefulness, he ain't getting no flood stop him. I appreciate that he's taken to delivering the pizzas after being stuck on the pizza shop in your last comic, it makes a lot of sense, haha. I can just see him negotiating this with the owner.

Corn Of The Breads's avatar
Corn Of The Breads
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Both these comics set a nice tone one is a bit more light hearted but both have a fairly nonserious tone though I felt one much more so then the other sets up a bit of foreshadowing while the other builds up the past of the main character, though I did notice bot comics never fully introduced the characters by name but later had the characters use the names of the other character, though it could be argued in Threns he goes into her room, and in Camels a time lapse seemed to appear; also seemed both relied on the same plot device of Wizzie coming back to sort things out which is a fine conclusion but I feel the characters could have been resourceful enough to leave if they really wanted to just seemed odd both artist came to the same conclusion over all two great comics that made me gripe about small things good job to both of you thank you for making these for us to enjoy.




mortooncian's avatar
mortooncian
All-Rounder
8 years ago
jiko may have gone to orkstech,,,,,,, BUT DOES SHE KNOW ALL FIFTY STATES?!??!?!