hey, why does this match have much fewer votes compared to the other?? Let's balance that out!
Magistelle: Great stuff as usual! On panel 2 page 5, I would have liked to see some extra stuff to fill the locker room, strewn about towels garbage, dust stratches dents on the lockers, etc. as since it's a brighter panel than most your background weaknesses are more apparent. I'm confused about the rules of this heavyweight tournament Mammon is in; in the last round Mammon and that steampunk guy just fought all over the place and it was a serious throwdown, but now there's a ref to actually stop the fight if it gets too dangerous?
Jaykat: Pascaline's mother looks good but you need more work on your elderly men, so keep practicing that. There's something funky going on with your dodgelines on page 6, it would have been more dynamic as a diagonal dodge rather than a straight left-to-right-on-screen thing that's going on now.
Mags: GODDAMMIT, how do you do so good. Your panel work, the pacing, the posing, it's all top notch. And your use of intense blacks in the ominous scenes is fantastic.
The only real issue I noticed is your highlights. They work really well for the shiny or reflective surfaces, but otherwise they kinda make everything seem like it has a sheen to it. Even Mammon's hat, which I always figured to be a more cottony or cloth like surface. I think maybe just including a little bit of texture work into the highlights to give a better sense to the material of a surface would go a long way.
Jaykat: ARGH, I wish you could have finished. What you had here was really good. Just some small art and panel gripes here and there, but without the rest of the comic, I don't feel like I have a solid enough idea of the story's punch to comment on that.
On the second real page of the comic, with the crash sound effect panel, I think that is a little unneeded. Maybe instead, just drawing the impact effects around the truck in the top panel on its side. I think something like that would have been a much stronger effect. We do completely flip the camera angle between the last panel on the first page and this panel, which is mildly disorienting, so keep an eye out for that 180 rule. A godo trick to work around it is to include panels with angles between the two extremes, to simulate sorta panning the camera, as it were.
After that, when Mammon shows up in his standing posture, his head forms a tangent with the wall behind him. Try to avoid those when possible, since it can really destroy a sense of depth.
All that aside, solid work, and I wish I coulda seen more.
JayKat: AHH ITS A SHAME YOU COULDNT FINISH I liked seeing Swan's parents and the narrative buildup to maybe finding out the secrets of her powers!! What you do have is incredibly polished, in my opinion, and I'm mostly glad you seem to be feeling better!
Magistelle: OH GOD AAAAAAAAAA
I DONT WANNA SPOIL IN COMMENTS BUT HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIT
Once again, your writing and narrative is top notch, as is your quality. I couldn't find a significant problem with it-- other than wanting to know what'll happen with poor Swan!!!
Jaykat: the installement was great, and the situation with the parents was a bomb ticking for swan ! the father's face tho is a bit Playstation 1
Magi: ARG MY FRENCH ... Otherwise, OH MY GOD MURPHY'S LAW IS BACK
I DIG THAT SCENARIO
Submitted what I could finish...and I wish I had done better.
I had a really horrible two weeks of severe depression that dragged me away from drawing this, and I'm not pleased one bit. Sorry to leave it on a shitty cliffhanger, there IS more but I couldn't finish it all. But by all means, flack away.
Nonetheless, I had a blast taking part in Heavyweight and am rather surprised to have gotten as far as semi-finals. Despite the shitty circumstances, I'm still happy to get a rematch with you Mags. Mammon will always be one of my favourite characters on Void. Best of luck to you in future rounds!
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