@ScaryWaves - Imma echo Rhimwill here, the writing is really solid in this entry even if the artwork is a bit sketchy at points - you really put a lot of effort so kudos on that! Also a bird? That was really funny!
@fukur0 - DUUUDE those colors ROCK! I was so worried for a minute when The Fool was going to kill Alexmander, I know you told me you wouldn't actually do that but for a moment there? I totally bought it! Awesome work, and cliffhanger! Can't wait to see more!
Thank you everyone for the feedback and critiques! Though I'm not gonna win this battle, I'm not discouraged and look forward to working with such a sincere and helpful community for many more battles!
You were both able to do so much in just a week! Wow!
ScaryWaves: It's too bad it's not totally finished, but I admire how you chose an ambitious story to try to complete. For the most part, your storytelling is pretty clear. There were a few points, especially during the action in pages 4-7 where it would be good to pull back and get both characters in a single panel to establish positioning. I think other than that the biggest thing would be working on drawing foreshortened anatomy. I really enjoyed reading your comic! I thought it was well-written :D
Fukur0: Your coloring is pretty bomb! I had trouble understanding some of the action going on, though. I think that, similarly to what I said with ScaryWaves' comic, it would benefit the visual storytelling to pull back for an establishing shot in one of the early pages and solidly establish The Fool's presence, even as a mysterious silhouette in the background. It was a neat idea to have The Fool actually sort of lose her first fight. I think it fits her character really well.
Oooh, these characters were kind of made for each other!
Scarywaves: What an intriguing opening story! That got me wanting to read issue two, so to speak! I see you're going with a simplified coloring/shading thing, and that seems to suit your needs, but you should work on tightening up the presentation: controlling how edges and shapes of areas of color look, making sure fills are complete without artifacts, keeping in the lines and panels, etc. A lot of this lies less in spending more time than it does in familiarizing yourself with your medium and picking up new workflow habits, something I'm sure you will do here in Void!
Fukur0: Dun dun DUNNN! Ooh, that was chilly! That red panel kicked major butt in particular. And speech bubbles with transparent text is a fun idea! It'd probably only work in night scenes, and it might be more effective as something specific to a character or state of being, but it's pretty fun! There is something about the palette in general that I feel could use tightening up, perhaps more contrast, but that's not really my specialty.
ScaryWaves: I think your story is very ambitious for a first round! However, please be sure to pay attention to making all your pages be the same quality-- that's perfectly fine and can be fixed in the second round! It's all about time management. However, speaking of, you did a LOT of pages for a one-weeker, so I'm mostly nitpicking! You did a great job setting up the mood and tone!
Fukur0: FULL COLORED FIRST ROUNNNDDD very very impressive!
I'd like to see a more complete story next time, but for a one week deadline, you gave some really polished work! I love the emotive nature of color that you're giving.
Great job to both of you!
@ScaryWaves; You got a lot done this round and I commend you for it. I really love Mol's sass throughout this as well as the first shot of the decrepit barn. Your lines feel a bit too sketchy throughout your comic, you may want to work on your line quality. I think looking up some anatomy references would help you as well.
@fukur0; Great job getting a full color comic up! You've also got some pretty interesting panel compositions that I'm a fan of as well. I'm not against you handwriting your dialogue but at least try and make it a bit cleaner to read so that we don't miss anything.
Scarywaves - I really enjoyed the stalker/creepy feelings you put out in the beginning of the comic with the fool. That panel of her in the background gave me an eerie feeling. You chose some really interesting perspectives and filled up each panel really well. I just suggest working more on your anatomy and your action panels. Welcome to void!
Fukur0 - Your coloring is fantastic and well done. The fool is great character and I look forward to seeing much more from you in the future. I think what would have made this comic pop more was more solid details in the background and using a digital font rather than handwriting it. In fact, the hand writing would have worked really well for The Fool's dialogue and using a proper font would have been great for Moi! Cant wait to see more from you!
scaryWaves:
I enjoyed it :D especially with the 'are you sure?' and the its gonna be a long night :D
fukur0:
lovely coloring
-first page second panel - if you moved the camera farther a little more I would have understood the 3rd and 4th panels with more impact.
-third page last panel - i love that shot <3
-sixth page second panel - her fingers shortened o_O?
I absolutely love both of these characters, and both of you did a wonderful job of pulling the reader in and wanting more. Each story was also conveyed very well!
ScaryWaves - Mol's personality was definitely the strongest part of this comic, however I really liked the angle you took with the tournament. Very creative! You accomplished a lot in such little time, and that is amazing! I would suggest to you to develop a somewhat crisper style to ensure everything looks how you want it to, I got a little lost on the characters and background in some panels (not referring to those unfinished). I also love to see a lot of serious action, with actual damage occurring and the both of you definitely knocked that out of the park. Great job!
Fukur0 - I can't help but be drawn to The Fool, to be completely honest. And your first battle made me love her even more, with that sort of madness-esque vibe going on. I'm really looking forward to any opportunity to battle you in the future!!!!!!!!! Your colors are wonderful and vibrant, and the moods are set so well with continuity to the time of day; loved it! Your panels are very dynamic as well, and I really enjoyed that! Be careful with using handwritten text for dialogue; there were some parts that got a bit scribbled and I had to read it over a view times to understand. I think I really would have liked to see more happen after the end of this comic, but it was still very well made start to finish. Excellent work overall!
Looking forward to seeing more from you both soon!!
AAAAAA crap, guys, I love both ends of this fight! You both did really stellar work in a week's time, and I felt like you both had a good handle on each other's characters-- I don't know if you chatted about the fight between yourselves or if it just worked out like that, but awesome job and that made both sides feel very cohesive!
@Scarywaves:
I love the humor in your side of the fight. Mol already seems like a great character, and getting her sass and personality established right off the bat is so fun and helpful for your future opponents. She seems like she's gonna be a hella fun character to fight, and I loved how you made your fight a healthy combination of violence and comedic moments. You definitely killed it on entertainment!
In terms of art, I know you were limited by the week deadline (and damn, you put out a lot considering, nice job on that), but I'd take a little more time varying the angle of your shots. It happens more in the early pages and not as much in the late pages (where you were prolly running low on time, so understandable), but since you're really not shying away from action it could help improve the dynamism. A little more time on bkgs would prolly help too, but I know that will probably come on longer fights so I'm not too worried!
Also, side note, I know the backgrounds in the first page are tall grass fields, but I had initially read it as ground, and got a good laugh out of the Fool popping up because I envisioned her popping out of the ground like some sort of crazy gopher going HEY BITCH DIDNT EXPECT ME... which after reading the rest of the battle, I could see happening anyways, haha. Really nice work man, I'm excited to see more from you!
@fukur0:
Man, I was really hoping for action from this character, and I was not at all disappointed. I like how much you tend to favor dynamic shots; the variety in your angles and panels really makes the fight feel alive, which works out nicely since your use of colors and poses almost makes me feel like I'm looking at screenshots from an anime or something. It's really appealing, and you did a nice job on the magical effects that are so important in a fight with a spellcaster!
I agree with Bobo that a little more detail in the bkgs would be nice, since your figures are so nicely rendered. I know bkg work can be a real time eater, but it would really help balance out your work! As a whole though, really nice job. It's lovely work and I can't wait to see more (also crying inside because I wanna fight you with Hunter and have it be a fight around ideologies and morals and shit but FUCK YOU DRAW ACTION WELL HNNNGH).
Again, kickass fight from both of you! It's always great seeing a matchup where both sides feel really satisfying, and you guys should be proud as hell considering the limitations you worked with; way to start strong!
@ScaryWaves: What a fight! I don't know these characters' powers very well, so I got a little bit lost, but it's still fun to see these two powerful fighters going up against each other. My biggest critique for you is that I got lost in all your lines a lot more than I should have. I would work on varying your line widths and improving your line quality so it's really clear what's what. I'm excited to see what you do next!
@fukur0: OMG this character! I'm immediately sucked into their story, and I NEED more! Your coloring is also top notch. I would just encourage you to zoom out some more and do more wide shots, as well as adding a little more detail to your backgrounds so they feel more real, if that makes sense. Seriously, though, just keep drawing and making comics! I want to see MOAR!
ScaryWaves:
Holy jeez fukur0 I wish I was a fourth as good at colors as you. :0 I do find it amusing that we told very similar stories tho lD
I was surprised at the similarity or our stories but I do like the outcome of yours better. Turning her into a bird, oh god that's amazing (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵)
Gonna be submitting after work. There is always another mistake, always something else you want to change. :l this is a habit I'm joping Void will change.
TFW you finish the comic and you are already noticing mistakes but the file became too wonky to go back to change it....
I still gave it my best (*•̀ᴗ•Ì*)Ùˆ Ì‘Ì‘
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