@Dumorte - Oh my gosh Colorado is such a great character! He manages to be both quirky and badass as he needs, and his crush on Echo was pretty cute! It was a funny entry with a really cool ending! Need to work a bit more on staging what is happening, especially when he gives her the banana bc it took me a while to know what had just happened, but I enjoyed it!
@Seki - Wow, you have a neato artstyle! Altho I really couldn't follow the story very well, but hey! Still kudos for having really nice colors despite the tight deadline!
MyHatsEatPeople:
Dunmorte: I really like Colorado, he seems like a cool guy. this is a really strong comic, you've got a good grasp of page layout and composition to keep your pages interesting, and your dialogue has personality and comes across as natural and well written. My only really nick pick is the ending, it took me a minute to realise what just happened but it doesn't really damage the story because I did manage to work it out, but help your reader a bit more next time! Also this may just be me, but I'm picking up a bit of a frank Miller vibe with the black fills and limited colour pallet for the characters.
Seki: whoops on the page sizes! Don't worry I've done it myself in the past. You've got a really nice style but the rendering is just too soft for my personal tastes. I thought your special effects with her powers were really cool but in regards to story I had no idea what was happening from start to finish - also reduce your text size to between 9pt-11pt.
hey Hats! the frank miller was completely intended! I LOOOOOOVE the sin city comics and the art/colors. So, I tried to give that format a try with such little time in hands for the comic. As for the ending clarity, I know what you mean. After I read it and reread it after turning it in, I really wish I could have made more clear that page 5-6 transition.
Dunmorte: I really like Colorado, he seems like a cool guy. this is a really strong comic, you've got a good grasp of page layout and composition to keep your pages interesting, and your dialogue has personality and comes across as natural and well written. My only really nick pick is the ending, it took me a minute to realise what just happened but it doesn't really damage the story because I did manage to work it out, but help your reader a bit more next time! Also this may just be me, but I'm picking up a bit of a frank Miller vibe with the black fills and limited colour pallet for the characters.
Seki: whoops on the page sizes! Don't worry I've done it myself in the past. You've got a really nice style but the rendering is just too soft for my personal tastes. I thought your special effects with her powers were really cool but in regards to story I had no idea what was happening from start to finish - also reduce your text size to between 9pt-11pt.
thanks mortoooooon! yeah the week limit made this very difficult to work on. especially as my first battle! but it showed me what my current limits are and what i should work on more!
Dumorte: COLORADOOOO
I loved this side of Colorado, being shown here. I knew he was a pretty earnest guy but I like that he's clever, too! I'd maybe try for more backgrounds (versus just fills) and to go for more fluidity during action scenes-- this is a nitpick, because I'm bad at that, too (it's really hard...)
I'm glad to see you doing rounds!!
Seki: Hmm... My main issue with this story is that it's an incomplete one. She attacks some guy, and he just... is gone. She doesn't have much interaction with Colorado/her opponent, and while that's not always necessary, it does lend to stronger comics.
Try to build a story around your character interacting with your opponent's, and you'll have a more engaging comic; however, this is still really great for a first round, especially in one week! Well done!
thank you all so much for the feedback! definitely will be working on the anatomy. Not like I have a choice drawin wrasslin! Haha
What are artifacts along the lines?
Dumorte, that was a fun story, but the resolution was a little confusing. I wonder if there was a better way to do that reveal and then transition. The solid black and white and spot color is basic, but working well enough, and it would work a lot better if you make sure there aren't any artifacts along the lines after doing fills. A lot of that is just making changes to your workflow and becoming more familiar with your media, as opposed to doing extra work. Your anatomy needs work, but, hey, nothing like drawing wrestling to force yourself to work on anatomy, right?
Seki... Uh oh, it's the resizing game! I always test my artwork before uploading it by opening the file in a browser window and seeing how large it looks at full size. Zoomed out, that is some nice artwork in the first two pages. The incorporation of text and copy paste elements really throws things off. You don't necessarily need to hand draw all those finicky things from scratch, especially when you're trying to save time, but getting them to mesh with your artwork is important. I would have liked to see what happened to that guy more than hearing about it later.
I'm going to continue my critiques with confidence focusing on storytelling and pacing.
@Dumorte really great story, I didn't have any problems following along. I don't really know what I can say that anyone else hasn't said already. that banana though!
@Seki Visually, the story is well paced and really drew me in. Love the way your paint! You could have used clearer dialogue to clarify and expand upon what you were showing, though. awesome work regardless! :)
Astro Sean and MaxieWest, dont worry, i'll get my sizes right for next time and I will definitely work on my story telling with comics and details!
thank you both c:
Dumorte - You already know I hold your character in high regards because I am a total wrestling fanatic. But This Colorado comic was really rad. You told a great story and the little bits of wrestling between both characters was fun. I like the sneaky pin Colorado had to pull on Echo to beat her. You have more work to do in regards of pacing, panel layout and backgrounds, but dude you are leveling up each time you draw and I am putting you on my hitlist immediately!
Seki - You gotta resize those pages, it made it really rough for me to read and properly give you a critique here. Your coloring style is really beautiful, but I felt like you were missing a lot of details throughout some of the scenes. The story was a bit hard to follow, but you handed in a complete comic and for that I applaud you. Welcome to void, and I hope you stick around with us cretins!
@Dumorte; Your comic was so much fun to read! One of the things I really loved about it was how much we get to know about both your character and your opponents. The characters do feel pretty stiff working on your posing and anatomy will go a long way.
@Seki; Your pages are so big! And while I think a blurry coloring style can be really neat combined with your large page size it felt more like my vision was going fuzzy. I really love your panel composition on the third page it feels very interesting and unique.
@Dumorte: OMG that comic was ridiculous XD. I love the way the boss talked, Colorado's inner monologue, and his ridiculous attempts at hitting on this assassin chick. On the other hand, you gotta work your your anatomy. I highly recommend heading over to artists.pixelovely.com/practice-tools/figure-drawing/ and just spending some time each day (or however often you can) practicing drawing the human figure. They also have new face and hands/feet tools that you can practice with there. You practice that and keep up your insane writing, and you'll be golden! I can't wait to see what you do next! :)
@Seki: You forgot to re-size your pages before you uploaded them @_@ You've got some nice colors going, and the soft feel is kind of fun! I think you could benefit from adding a bit more detail to your art, since I felt kind of lost the whole time. I'm also not completely sure why Echo crashed through that wall in the first place, either. I would suggest working on your storytelling so you can get a really clear, concise story even in just a few pages. You've definitely got potential, so keep on practicing! VOID is the perfect place to hone your skills, especially when it comes to telling good stories in a short amount of time/pages.
Can't wait to see what both of you come up with next! <3
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