JayKat: It looked really gorgeous! Have I told you that I love how you anatomy bc I love how you anatomy. The composition was great! Short and sweet indeed!
Charlie: Sorry you couldn't make it for this round! Best of the lucks with your work!
JAYKAT- Your visuals make me want to see a ballet performance. Only you would be able to manage a character as klunky looking as Charlie's and somehow manage to incorporate a sense of grace when emulating Swan's movements. I've got to admit this comic had a very distinct theme of pause from visuals to story which i think you achieved well. The biggest panels that come to mind are Luna reaching up to...well, la luna. Granted, its a bit of a shame that you kind of need to do some mining to your opponents other comics and backstory to figure out what Luna's going on about- in which case, I would've liked to have seen this comic stand strong on its own storytelling merits.
jay- i always do appreciate how you fill up your backgrounds, and your gorgeous use of black and white. i think i agree with bobo that you could push the gestures a bit more, the fluidity gets a bit lost in all the polish of your nice clean lines and loses a little flavor which would be workable if it werent for the fact both characters are dancing and thats something you wanna draw nice an loose. but i love the black and white with yellow accent and the little moment of serenity you gave Luna!
JayKat: Man, your work is always so crisp and clean! Your lineart and shading are spot-on and really professional. On the other hand, I've noticed that sometimes your work, both characters and backgrounds, can feel a little too rigid, possibly as a result of trying to keep things really clean and crisp. I recommend practicing gesture drawings and keeping things loose at least as you practice your poses. You can also break up the backgrounds with some trees or other natural objects or other objects that don't fit into straight lines or line up with perspective lines. Other than that, I like how you created a sort of quiet moment in the middle of Luna's otherwise intense life and gave her a moment of peace and freedom. I haven't followed Luna's story, so it didn't have the full effect it otherwise would have, but I still appreciated the overall tone of your comic. Can't wait for the next round!
Charlie: I'm glad your real life stuff is going well! Sucks that you couldn't turn in this round, because your art is masterful. Hope you can quit your day job soon ;)
Your comic was amazing jaykat!!! You totally captured the character well! Sorry I had nothing for you this time around, but best of luck in the future rounds!
@ Pyras - Yeah, the lighting was what had me there. And sure, I'll keep that in mind about the dialogue next time. I just thought it was too silent and worried it wouldn't get the point across. But thanks for the advice!
@ Minteh & Radji - Thanks!
Jaykat: You might wanna check your monitor settings, there seems to be two different blacks going on in the cover, and you want either one or the other: either the black bleeds into Pasca and Luna's outfits, or just be a stark light color to make them pop. You want to practice your lighting, particular outdoors in a city night there are lots more shadows than what's being presented; in page 2 (first page of story), the full background is good but really push the contrast between light and darkness, heavier shadows and brighter lights will help it really give that "hidden being in the night" feel. In future pages outside with Luna, your shadows are below as if the light source is above her, but in a city when you're on top of a building all the light sources come from below, so you needed to reverse the shadow direction. Try this out, and you'll see how it really helps sell the city night effect. Don't be afraid to just let panels go silent. The last two panels in page 3 we don't need her speaking to herself, the art will speak for itself. Same thing with page 6, maybe even page 7, just cut out the words and see how the story feels rather than tells. For the final panel, just a "huh?" will do.
Jay that was a super sweet comic, it was a very welcome breath of fresh air I think. A really great example of comics not needing to be action oriented to really excel, loved it!
I don't think I'll be able to pull off what I did last time, for this round. I want to if I can, but I am even more busy with freelance than round 1. I am not sure I will be able to submit. Things can always turn around in 9 days but on top of my dayjob, I am just not sure if I can produce anything. So just a heads up, I may regretfully have to take a default on this. When I originally signed up for the tourney I didn't anticipate being so busy, but the pro work takes priority for me as its important I deliver my best I can on these assignments so eventually it can lead me to quitting my job and all.
Thanks for understanding if I can't submit :(
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