@St Shen - You'd be right. It was pretty rushed. And I really wanted the battle to have a resolution, but maybe later I'll post the last two in the deleted pages Art Jam, if only for clarity's sake.
@ZigZagaroo Thanks for the words!
@elge sorry you didn't find the dialogue interesting
@Radji yeah both stories talk about responsibility of the übermensch~ Arena's path is hazy now, and what she becomes can change with the wrong (or right) day
@Shen Thanks I'm glad you liked the art and fights! I missed drawing Arena's sand powers. "i dont think either Swan or Arena is necessarily right OR wrong." <- that's exactly what I was going for; I wanted every person to really feel like their side is in the right. I felt my climax was with Arena stopping the fight, and the after pages being the falling action/conclusion
Thanks for the comments and critiques guys
Jaykat- like the others said i do wish this had a resolution but these things happen, cant be helped. I like your backgrounds, especially in the first three pages where they are shaded, you fill a skyline and an apartment very nicely. Swan's movements during the fight scene were very pretty but the effect for her powers was a bit scribbly I think, I imagibe it should look a bit more graceful, personally. It kinda feels like it got a little rushed towards the end and its hard to properly critique a story without an ending. Anyhow, welcome back!
pyras, damn, gorgeous work! I love the colours on this, they really help sell the mood and I like the chalky texture. The fight scene was badass, loved the way Arena's sand morphed around Swan. the story is a little hard to critique because i dont think either Swan or Arena is necessarily right OR wrong. They both acted a lot out of emotion. Im glad you included for Arena the line "i wont let a god into my head again" because it helps remind why she would find this character so personally offensive. I feel like ending kind of.... trails off a bit I guess, like its not a terribly strong climax after that heated argument but its at least good to show Arena still has a sympathetic friend. Anyhow, you worked hard and it shows, this was a fantastic comic, good job!
@Radji The last two pages that didn't get in would have explained who the assailants were. Nonetheless, more will be revealed later down the track. Just need to re-plan everything.
Jaykat Oh mon dieu ! AU kidnapping !
Swan just got herself in some shady business. Liked the action, but i would have liked to know a bit more on the assaillants. Not to say that it was rushed, but i am now in this situation where i have the MIGHTY NEED to know more.
Pyrrasterran I'm receiving dawn of justice vibes from this, ha ha. Arena is falling prey to old habits i see. great art, the colors are plentiful, but that's okay, it works here. Yay to Gumshoe, best underling ever !
What will arena do now? Continue on her tracks or question herself on her methods and her personals problems?
JayKat: Nice comic. I thought it was well paced. I heard things weren't going to well for you, so I understand the abrupt ending. Hope things have calmed down or will calm down soon for you.
Pyras: I don't know if it was your intent or not, but I liked the crayola-like finish of the pages. The last few pages had textwalls and were not interesting.
Good job you two.
I've been looking forward to this battle for awhile and I must say you both didn't disappoint! Both of your entries had interesting stories to tell while also providing some stunning visuals to back it up. I might try to give a full critique for you two some time later but being the amateur critic I am I can't promise it'll be that good.
Submitted!
Honestly, I'm not happy with how my part looks as real life wasn't very kind to me this time round. Plus I couldn't get the last two pages done in time, so I apologize for the weird and abrupt ending on my part. At any rate, critique away.
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