Don't take this to heart but I'm not a fan of this kind of heavily-anime-inspired form of romance narrative, character archetypes like the ones that show up here tend to get on my nerves ^^'
BUT it does work for what it is.
Iced Tea: story-wise, you succeeded a bit more; I could definitely see this script in a manga/anime. But I have to dock major points because you've got here a 4 week comic and almost no backgrounds. It makes this very uninteresting to look at with so much white, not even shades on the characters. This makes your comic feel weaker than Rikun's in my view (again though since i'm not feeling either story, the visuals really had to sell it for me)
Rikun: Your story fumbles and forces alot, but visually it's aLOT more to look at, you've got honest to god backgrounds, and in multiple pages, you've got setup backgrounds, closing backgrounds, the works, and I applaud you for that. This is a complete comic too so congrats on that front! If you had actually shaded this up, you probably could have taken this with more points. Personally, I felt your expressions were better too, they're more animated and alive, overall.
Though the two had very similar themes, I felt that Iced's comic had the more interesting conflict and development between the two. Conflict via misunderstanding is a very common trope, but it works in Iced's favor because you create more interesting tension by having each characters' prominent flaws (Itami being hotheaded, Dao being uneducated) to draw out the conflict in an interesting way. I feel that maybe the solution was a bit shoehorned what with the actual buttgrabber just showing up by sheer coincidence and admitting his crime, but the comic was already pushing 12 pages so I can understand going for a shorter ending in this case.
On the other hand, Rikun's story felt forced and empty. Dao is thrust into conflict for no reason, Itami suddenly falls for Dao for no real reason, nothing really feels genuine and the scenes are just playing on stereotypical tropes without any rhyme or reason. There was barely any conflict, and the resolution was to just walk away like nothing happened, so what was even the point of this comic? I can't even tell who this comic is supposed to be about; am I supposed to sympathize with Dao who just stumbled into this situation through no fault of his own and walked away from it mostly scott-free? Or am I supposed to sympathize with Itami, who flatly shifts her tone from 'defending herself from a home invader' to 'come hither, handsome', which makes her seem really shallow? It really just boils down to me not believing anything these characters are doing, and to some degree it even plays out on the characters' faces. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something about the way you draw expressions just feels soulless and artificial.
these were pretty similar! I like the effort put in, but next time I'd like to see quality over quantity for both of you. you remained pretty consistant throughout which is good, but just narrow your focus during the time you have to make some nice finished pages.
I like both of your comics, both are funny in their own way, however they both felt rather empty without any form of tone or colouring applied. Adding either one of those would've helped liven things up a bit and make them more dynamic.
That's about it. Flutterbyes pretty much said it all.
Aw, this matchup made me smile!
These were both funny comics that I feel had very similar or corresponding strengths and weaknesses. Tea's depiction of the characters is overall more appealing and expressive, but a touch static and the action wasn't as clear or entertainingly staged. Rikun has a better hold of action and staging and he pushed the characters into more dynamic situations, but the characters are still pretty flat and their anatomy is a bit off kilter and inconsistent.
Both comics rely on lineart alone and come out looking a bit bare. Tea's could use more line weight. I noticed some hierarchy in some panels, but you shouldn't feel afraid to really punch it up, especially if you know the lineart is going to carry the comic. Even the panel borders could be thicker! Rikun's is a little bolder, but it goes between messy and overly clean and, like Tea, it looks naked without anything else to help carry visuals. For both, because there was no tone at all anywhere else, the sudden dash of tone and graphics looked a little out of place. Maybe it would have been better to find another solution.
I've been looking forward to THE THING for a while, and I'm glad both managed to Do a Thing. Let's all do things!
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