Ernestooo: I wasn't a fan of the "broken up" panels on page. I suppose the effect would have been better if it had some "normal" panelling and then the contrast between those and the broken up ones a lot stronger (as it is there is no point of refecence). But aside that I think the use of color is good and the whole thing is pretty clear.
Seannnynyny: Totally loved the story, great ending :P But I am a total slut for your comics, so I may be a bit biased haha. I guess they guys are right about maybe slightly more of a line variation. I did like the random chats of the characters in the background, maybe they didn't add anything to the actual plot but quite nicely made it feel like a crowded place.
Ernesto- Yo so Im glad this came out so clearly!!! I was a bit worried when you told me about the dual narrative structure, because it is kind of hard to convey a back-and-forth point of view. But I think you really pulled it off here.
Also you work so fast like goddamn. Like, on one hand, Im glad you planned it out so much so it conveyed well enough, but you didn't leave yourself a lot of time to do the actual work-- so it's skating that line of "I'm glad you did put a lot of thought into it" but also "You should have given yourself more time to work so you didn't have to crunch". THAT BEING SAID, the pages do have a nice look to them, albeit the bluish background texture in the 'present time' can run a bit messy, lines outside of panel borders, etc etc but nothing that wouldnt have been cleaned up with like, an extra day of polish. So again, just time management deals.
Though there is a lot of it, I do like the use of white space to give pacing, though.
Sean- SO MANY JIKOS you spoil me so much. Man the one time she goes to a poetry reading and someone gets maimed... [also the little skulls on her boots are such a cute touch]
I'm gonna echo what I said for Ernesto a little and say that a day of cleanup and polish couldve really helped where some of the lines bled, blacks werent solid etcetc.
You did use a lot of contrast, but in some areas, contours and thicker lineart wouldve helped. You seem to use one type of line width and though thats not bad per se, it could really help for separating Sonny and the host from the background in page 1 [or on Joey and Margot in page 2, because theyre bleeding a little into Jiko]. Just to give more emphasis on foreground versus background
I also really like the textures of the woodgrain and the crosshatching on the paper and Margot's tights, so while I dont mean EVERYTHING NEEDS A TEXTURE I think it'd be nice to see more textures.
There's also a couple places where the bodies are drawn in flat perspective (Sonny's head in that last panel, Joey's body in the last panel). OTHERWISE this was really funny and I always find new reasons to love Margot
YOU BOTH ARE GREAT please make more comics. i wish margot wasnt dead
Coatl: Your strongest comics through and through are ones that deal with relationships. Between this and your Florence Ailley comic this seems like a topic that resonates with you so I would suggest to continue exploring it. It's been a long time since we've last seen your work and it's definitely evolved. I don't know if all the spread out panels on the large white canvas are to illustrate a sort of stream of consciousness with the events transpiring but there's way too much white, and I think either a good trim and compression or just releasing the pages normally would have worked just fine for you and look less unfinished.
Astro Sean: good ol' Margot continuing her hipster misadventures, this is standard silly stuff so I don't have much to say on the narrative element you seem to have a good handle on what your comics are about. I would that i didn't feel the cameo characters' lines really added anything at all to the read. You've got writing down pretty well I'd say so you wanna take your time to start taking your art quality to the next level, studying researching and improving your visual craft so it matches better with your writing
Keep up the good work guys hope to see more soon in the future!
"Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school
And they take spanish and get a B."
Oh wait, we did the Cheech and Chong comic already. Good luck you guys.
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