Shen- Oh man I'm so glad you battled !Bang! because... i ship it. I know you do too- I'm totally with you on this haha. It's been nice seeing so much Lilyfeather recently! I'd like to see her story progress :)
The backgrounds are a little empty (a lot of white) but I appreciate the level done with the zombies. I feel like a lot of these shots were medium zoom; try adding more farther away shots ( I tend to have the same problem).
!Bang!- Sorry about your computer! If it means anything this was a pretty nice comic for such a short time and I love their interactions. Watch that 180* flip on page 2! You write these characters really well together and that last panel is so cute idk just the way it's drawn (it's simple and cute but dimensional) Hey we should do a rematch? Yes? No?
These were both cute and I'd love to see more of them soon!
I'm so glad everyone seems to like my black and white! I used to do an exclusively black and white webcomic so its been good to stretch those muscles again with this and a couple recent Gray comics. speaking of Gray, oops, Kozi you noticed what I hoped no one would XD I didnt see the parallel between Gray and Lily until I had already started inking so it was a rush to change dialogue so it was less obvious XD This was just a one time thing though so it should stop with Holden. Also I didn't realize how often I drew anime side mouth until you mentioned it, I'll try to keep my eye on that- as well as how very large my heads tend to get like Byth mentioned (maybe its an animator thing). Thanks for your comments, everyone! I shall push myself to do better! And thanks for the battle, bangarang- your character is a lot of fun and I hope you get in another fight soon! I'd love to see more of him!
Hrk! voted, but got too caught up in moving to comment during voting. THIS SHALL BE REMEDIED. >=[
ANIMESHEN- This minimal color splash amidst all your black was really nice! It showcased what needed to be showcased (which was namely blood and guts and faaabulous hair) as well as pushed some elements to the fore beyond all the black. Particularly digging that use of negative space making the background buildings white on page 1. You do such a fine job of making Holden look so swarmy and just no good that it was a treat to see his interaction with someone like Lilyfeather. I do wish you'd pull away from the anime side mouth though. You obviously have a handle on anatomy, especially in those close-ups where Lily's playing her flute that mouths like the one you drew for Holden on page 5 panel 3 stick out like a sore thumb. Also, this is just me, but the tie-in between showing that Lily's flute being cursed and exclusive to her only to feature Holdens blood abilities was a really rad. It was definitely a nice smooth transition of action.
I will admit what Holden was encouraging about Lilyfeather going bad feels like Lily is going the same way as Gray- even if Lilyfeather refused by the end (oop, spoilers!), I feel both your fighters are kind of dealing with the same issues, albeit at different points of the same personal conflict.
BANGARANG- Wow, WOW. To lose your battle only to bang out a four page comic in 30 minutes? INSANE. Not to mention surprisingly fantastic quality despite the horrible last minute time crunch. AND really charming story besides! I'm definitely a tad speechless. did Shen dodge a bullet by you having technical difficulties? would your original tale of blown all our socks off? Only the shadow knows!
Shen - Really nice work! I love how you've developed the body language of your characters. Also facial expressions are really rubbery and animated which I enjoy greatly. I'd like to see a bit more in the way of background detail--I liked you're silhouetted buildings at the last page, but it would have more of an impact if we saw more building early on. Still, really cool story and I think Lily and Holden are way cute together!
Bangarang - Nice job! I enjoy the expressiveness of your characters, and the playful body language you use. My two points I think need work are the handling of the scanned image and the consistency of features. Once the pages are scanned they'd look lots better if you adjusted the contrast or levels in whichever program you use. Also, while I really like the character design, their features are not consistent. For example, in profile Holden always has that cute little curve to his nose, but in 3/4 and head-on his nose is pretty straight, no hint of curve--it's especially noticeable when the bridge of his nose is left out. All in all I'm really excited to see more from you--you have a really promising style.
Shen: Damn, escalated quickly! Love the Little Red Riding Hood type vibe you had with the story/coloring. The proportions are kinda wonky in parts, with Lily's neck in page 2 and how big the heads are in page 8 sticking out the most, and that one panel in page 11 of Holden swinging the scythe looks really weird to me, I don't know it almost feels like the scythes blade end is facing the wrong way. But other than that I really liked it, especially once the zombies come out and heads start to fly.
Bangarang: Considering you made this in 30 minutes, I'd say it was pretty good. It's get's really "talking heads"y in the middle pages, but I guess that's probably a side effect of it being done so quickly, I liked the dialogue/interaction between the two characters, that last panel with Lily doing Holden's hair was really funny. Sucks what happened to your other comic though, I wish I could've read it.
Shen: I've always been a fan of heavy black and color accent so of course I like that in this! Your zombie silhouettes in page 6-7 are very strong and you're one of the few artists here can really excels at liquid effects like blood. I think you can do more to separate the panels so they don't mix into each other, like with the top panels on page 1. It also would have been nice to see more hard shadows on the characters themselves, sometimes they don't feel entirely in the background but the shadows do help.
Bangarang: won't judge this too much since you did it in less than an hour, but congrats on deciding to not default, this shows potential, promise and perseverance which is what you'll need to improve in future battles. But watch out when you're uploading pages, cause those last ones ended up too big and that's distracting
Keep it up your two!
Bangarang: Awesome 30 minute comic. If you're gonna do absolutely anything not to default, this is the way to do it. Good on ya! It took half an hour, I'm not gonna pick it apart.
Shen: I'm loving the heavy blacks in this, even if you could've pushed them a little further in some places. The blood red tertiary is a nice touch. I really like your characterization of Holden here, and the interplay between these two is great, your dialogue is really well done. Holden is no good, but I was pleased to see Lilyfeather giving in to his peer pressure. Overall, just a really good depiction of both characters and their abilities, well paced and well acted. I wonder if Miller will get jealous in spite of himself. Heheh.
oh gosh. is it really gone forever-ever? like theres no fixing the computer? thats a shame- i wont say I'm not a little disappointed cuz i super wanted this fight but at least you didn't default and im not sure if you knew this but a shippy comic is pretty much the fastest way to my heart XD so I forgive you haha! This was adorable- they're flirting style is so immature its hilarious! its hard to properly critique a comic you did in 30 minutes but I can say you should watch your camera- you keep flipping it about, when for the sake of continuity its better to keep characters on the same side of each other. like, imagine a line dividing the scene in half. now draw everything from only one side of that line. it helps keep things cohesive. Also, if I'd known Holden was ACTUALLY dead and not just delusional like Gray, I would have written a different comic lol! But I'm glad you liked mine!
Excellent as always, Shen! Super entertaining and fun to read. I'd suggest that you spend some more time practicing anatomy and fabric, your expressions and gestures are good, but the overall poses and bodies could always be improved. And I know it's tough to do full color on VOID deadlines, but I'd LOVE to see some more flats at the very least! KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!
Bangarang, your stuff has potential, but you want to vary the way you set up your panels. It's always best to mix close ups of people and wide angle shots when you're dealing with a slower conversation scene like this, so readers don't lose interest. Also, don't be afraid of backgrounds in scenes like this! Characters floating in a white void only really works when you really need to focus on a reaction or lots of dialogue all in one place, so try to work in more background details to let us know that we're still in a real space (I've been guilty of this as well). Maybe some leaves falling from the tree or some glimpses of forest in the background. I also really like the solid blacks you have in Holden's clothing. Maybe try to add more of those in other characters to add weight to the art. The best thing for your comics if they aren't colored is really strong inks that can show shape and depth without added color tones. All that being said, I love the expressions you give your characters, there's plenty of emotion there. Keep it up! Don't ever stop practicing!
RAAAAGHHH.
My computer is dead. Along with every goddamn page of this comic. Two weeks of work gone. But JFC NO I WILL NOT DEFAULT. NO.
I'm sorry that it's terrible. I drew it in literally 30 minutes since my finished digital is forever gone because I'm an idiot and I don't use flash drives.
@%%%#&&$*%™€$&*!.
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