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KvP: Round 1

1 Week
Regular Match

Comics

KvP: Round 1
By Majikura
chat_bubble 29
star star
Bullet Princess
Final Score: 7.05
KvP: Round 1
By PyrasTerran
chat_bubble 30
star star
Sanari binte Abbas
trophy WINNER
Final Score: 7.32

Comments (30)

Rose's avatar
Rose
All-Rounder
14d ago

That final panel made me laugh so hard I had a coughing fit. Extremely underrated and gotta be one of the best final panels on the site XD

Posted on Sanari binte Abbas feature comic by PyrasTerran

Hobbittasic's avatar
Hobbittasic
Inker
9 years ago
Pyras- I wish Bullet Princess was the person in charge of her pod team. Sanari is in charge of her own and it would show case her a little more in the comic. I love the lineless colors though!! I love the announcers dialog with each other. I adored the ending (yay they're all hanging out!!) but I really think the "Happy Father's Day" thing was too much. Mostly because it was a month ago?? Idk it was a touching enough moment without it. That last panel is killing it. Kura- Actually I agree that the theme or "lesson" of the comic is super muddled. To me it didn't read "Careful what you wish for" because she got exactly what she wanted? It seems like she fucked up and is trying to give some of the blame to the other party to save face or something. Nothing extra or surprising happened and Abbas didn't really do anything dick-ish or trick her in any way. At the end it soured me with them both being in the wrong. I get what you were trying to go for with carefully wishing for what you want but that did not execute well in the comic. Also in Pyras's comic Bullet Princes was shown as a game and tv show- in your comic she is not?? I know the board game aspect is a thing with her but it's confusing when it doesn't always come up because what triggers it being in the comic? It would have been cool if this was an episode of her cartoon or whatever. Aside from some anatomy and line art issues this was a pretty solid comic. Sorry for my comment being late! Great job both of you!

Majikura's avatar
Majikura
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Just you wait pyras. I'll have my runback in round two.

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
9 years ago
Thanks folks for the alarmingly large amount of votes and critiques~ And for those of you who said you were gonna critique but didn't it's ok I still love you

Qyzex's avatar
Qyzex
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Do people here just ride dicks these days instead of being actually helpful and critical? I mean, if you want to ride dicks, go ahead, but jesus christ... Pyras: I don't think it's been a secret that I've never been a fan of your art, but I will say, besides some anatomical anomalies and some shortcuts, what you drew here seems to be a nice little culmination of styles and, you know, I don't dislike it. I do dislike the lack of at least one background in the middle of the comic to reaffirm the setting.

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
9 years ago
Bobo one day I will make you punderstand.

Sootball's avatar
Sootball
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Wooo first critique! Hi everyone. Kura: Hi. I also observed a bit of a disconnect between the message the dad is trying to give his son and the narrative with BP. (Glad I wasn't the only one). So, it starts off with the boy asking why his dad and sister hate magic so much, to which the dad responds with the flashback. So I'm thinking, ok, this is going to be about how magic wronged BP and/or the dad in some way. However, BP lets her hubris get the best of her and challenges the genie to give her a challenge. She basically sets herself up for failure. Now, this could be enough of a reason as to why BP has a personal grudge against magic; she got frustrated with her own failings and, instead of holding herself accountable, blames "magic", or something along those lines. But then, the concluding line is "we ain't gonna conquer the world by wishin' for it" (By the way, didn'tt that say "we ain't gonna FIX the world by wishin' for it," first? Did you change that? Is that allowed?) which, if she was trying to conquer the world, wouldn't she have wished for a gun that shoots and never misses, or just wish that she never lose a battle, something along those lines? It seems like she just had something to prove. And if BP was meant to lose or run away to have her ego shattered, why don't we see one of those things happen? Anyways, I think the story works better as an explanation as to why BP hates magic than a warning to the boy not to use the magic sword because magic is a short cut that never works out. The problem is that the intro and conclusion work against that idea because it seems to set up and try and re-inforce the idea that "magic is the real enemy" when the narrative only tells that the real enemy is pride. On a positive note, your lines and composition and panels overall look very clean and well done. You could tell that the last page seemed a little rushed but shoot, with only a week to do this, pretty darn good to say the least; it's just a nit-pick. Pyras: A simpler narrative but with only a week, I think it was a smart choice. Your colors look great, but I would agree that in the last panel, the magenta walls could have been broken up a little with some shadows or lighting. Also, sometimes your proportions get a little wonky when you're drawing profiles, I think you draw the eyes and mouths a tad too large. I don't need to say much more about the text boxes, everyone's said it to death pretty much and while I agree, I think it's more of a nit-pick.

deactivated's avatar
deactivated
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Bobo: Re: Coatl's critique: I don't know whether you intended this or not, but I wasn't completely convinced by the old man's logic...... I feel like I would still argue that using the sword is a good idea if I were that kid. Maybe Coatl was responding to that, maybe not, but that's kind of how I connect his crit with your story. I definitely see the connection between the story and the argument not to mess with magic, but I'm not sure I would have been convinced by the "moral of the story" as interpreted by the old man. If I were that kid, the lesson would to me would be something more like "genies are jerks and also don't ask for stuff unless you know exactly what you want." But still, that's a separate issue in my mind, and doesn't take away from your storytelling at all. Exactly, the story wasn't bad I gave it a read and it felt like Kura's usual stuff. but I took notes on the second read and noticed the ending which felt like a lesson why magic is no good. Then i did another reading and interpreted the sword/locust connection because they seemed to have a similar function which is why I felt that could have capitalized on that. But BP seems too proud to accept help and even if she had no choice, it'd leave a bad taste in her mouth so I understand that. Then as I reread it and figured that out, I got the idea that maybe its a lesson in humility by having to admit defeat And that woulda been fine if only you wrote something in the beginning of the story in which the Prince has to decide between the sword or retreating. However, you deconfirmed that that was suppose to be the theme and you also illustrated it in the comic with the King calling that option cowardly. Learning that the actual story is how BP becomes prejudice against magic due to her frustration makes her petty and I can only assume that along with her pride and arrogance she's going to be a tragic character or at least a character that will hit a low point thats going to give her a big change in further stories. but again, I'll say this for the 3rd maybe 4th time, I understand this is a 1 weeker. Not many times can someone do a perfect story in one week. My intention isnt to beat on you or whatever and just to put it out there, I'm not judging your storytelling based off whatever drama we've had so don't take this as me trying to look down on you. I'm like pretty much giving you the same ithing I've said before in hopes that I can clarify more concretely where I'm getting much of my thoughts from and not as an act of petty retaliation. All I'm doing is offering a critique in hope that you take what you want out of it and if it helps you become a better storyteller, cool and if you reject it and don't agree with what I said, that's cool too. good job on the effort for the both of you.

deactivated's avatar
deactivated
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Majikura: The theme of the comic is not "BP learns to lose graciously". The theme of the comic is "BP's ego gets shattered by a genie causing her to hate magic" Ah ok well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm factoring the fact that you had a week to do this story and I feel like, objectively speaking, if you had a longer deadline that theme/plot could have been more realized. Now that you told me your intention, I reread it picked it up only with the prince asking his dad why they hate magic and put two and tow together with BP battling the army and Sanari but when it gets to the climax and ending it just gets lost. It's sorta there with the dad's last words but it's lacking and that's something I hope you look out for when you do these shorter battles.

Rose's avatar
Rose
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Pyras: -100 points for using "you're" instead of "your." I understand people using "your" for everything, but if you're going to separate the two, make sure you do it correctly! :P I mean basically, the host is telliing us that maybe he's host, but maybe we're host? I think he needs some help. On the other hand, using godopods gives you some bonus points and might just make up for your grammar snafu (a grafu, as I like to call it). I also giggled at the "I am beyond bored" comment right after you've got me all worked up over the high stakes Sanari has against her. Lilypod also killed me XD Sanari's dad entertained me throughout the entire comic, in fact. Also, Triggeripod's face on page 10. Oh, and page 11. And the last panel of the last page just about brought me to tears. Other than using "you're" like a jabroni and those terrible, TERRIBLE puns, I thought this was a solid comic! I'm impressed at what you were able to do in just a week. Sure, the art suffered a bit and there were some iffy plot points (I would have liked a less OP way for the Sanaripod to stay standing), and you do need to work on your text-bubble spacing, but the story was complete and entertaining. I personally found the humor much more interesting than the actual story (except for the puns, those made me cry). It can be tempting to throw together some sub-par writing when you create a humorous comic, but I'd encourage you to push future comics so that they're a little less predictable plot-wise (and not just punchline-wise). Kura: I practically did a scholarly analysis of your comic talking to Coatl in VOIDchat today hahah. I loved the story and thought it fit perfectly with what the old man was trying to communicate. It had a classic fable feel to it, which is perfect considering BP is a TV show and that's exactly the kind of story you see on Saturday morning cartoons, etc. I absolutely love the way you portrayed Abbas, and how you gave him a very strong role as the antagonist. Despite the fact that we never see the end of that story, it's pretty clear that he was the ultimate victor, and I appreciate that deviation from the norm of making your VOID character the winner every time. In fact, the way you stacked the odds impossibly against BP, both from external and internal sources, is probably the strongest part of your comic. Re: Coatl's critique: I don't know whether you intended this or not, but I wasn't completely convinced by the old man's logic. It made perfect sense to me that he would use that story to make his argument, and it's an effective teaching tool, but I feel like I would still argue that using the sword is a good idea if I were that kid. Maybe Coatl was responding to that, maybe not, but that's kind of how I connect his crit with your story. I definitely see the connection between the story and the argument not to mess with magic, but I'm not sure I would have been convinced by the "moral of the story" as interpreted by the old man. If I were that kid, the lesson would to me would be something more like "genies are jerks and also don't ask for stuff unless you know exactly what you want." But still, that's a separate issue in my mind, and doesn't take away from your storytelling at all. I especially love the second to last page, because I could feel BP's frustration right along with her, and you really did an amazing job of showing her feelings as she sort of fell apart in the face of literally impossible odds. My only gripe with your comic is that, despite how well you filled out most backgrounds, etc., there were still places here and there that felt a little incomplete. The last page is an obvious example with big empty spaces, but I also noticed that there are a lot of places where you don't connect lines to each other, like all the spears at the top of page 4. It's nitpicky, I know, especially since I didn't even notice it until I went back and re-read the comic about five times. I think in your case it's mostly just a matter of time, since you clearly paid attention to your layouts, environments, visual weight, etc. I just really want to see more of your art with plenty of shading and more complete backgrounds. You've gotten so good at the visual design aspect of your comics, I just want to see your best work because I know it will be amazing! I might have to go back and read a few of your newer Satin comics that I remember being particularly enjoyable to look at... Anyway, fun battle both of you, and I hope to see more!

Majikura's avatar
Majikura
All-Rounder
9 years ago
It's connected because all three characters are related, the king is telling the prince a story about what happened to his daughter (BP) when she encountered a magic item. Because all of BP's comics are about war, it is not hard to assume the prince wanted to use the Sword to help with the war effort, using magic as instant gratification similar to how BP used the magic lamp to instantly grant her desires for victory...which she never recieved because Genie bullshit. The theme of the comic is not "BP learns to lose graciouslyt". The theme of the comic is "BP's ego gets shattered by a genie causing her to hate magic"

deactivated's avatar
deactivated
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Majikura: edit: fuck it nevermind. I'll just facepalm, sigh and say please read the comic again if you somehow missed the very obvious theme and key plot point. I read it, you included the "I admit defeat part" but that doesnt tie up effectively to the idea that you presented that magic should not be used to win your battles since it helps no one. If sometimes you have to admit defeat is the actual moral or theme then that shoulda been focus of the son and father instead of his learning of a magic sword and learning "magic aint good for no one" Mind you if you want me to speak positively on it, I'll say this: The BP story on its own is good. It's a lesson in humility. But when it's sandwiched by someone telling a story and the lesson that is being taught does not clearly connect with what's actually going, that makes your story suffer.

Majikura's avatar
Majikura
All-Rounder
9 years ago
edit: fuck it nevermind. I'll just facepalm, sigh and say please read the comic again if you somehow missed the very obvious theme and key plot point.

deactivated's avatar
deactivated
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Kura Pros- I loved that your inking has improved, you had some good shots and angles. I like the boldness of your crowdscenes even the dramatic scene with a conflicted Bullet Princess was done pretty well, objectively speaking. Con- I feel like you should focus on improving your comps and layouts. In some scenes, they do their job in others, i feel like dispite the amount of rendering and detail, they feel empty (such as the tent interior in the first page.) Also if you're gonna shrink down your pages and compromise with the greyness of your thin lines, that's fine but if you want crisper lines, either draw at the resolution/size of what you're going to post or draw with pencil tool before shrinking to get crisper results. Also look for poses you find stiff in your comic or angles that you had a rough time with and practice them more. Same goes with wrists and ankles. Storywise though I feel like the connection to the boy wanting to use a magic sword that summon the undead to BP given the option to use a magic bottle to summon a swarm of locus was pretty weak. Being that the moral is suppose to be that magic shouldnt and doesnt help win your battles, an example of how you could have emphasized that with BP's story better is if BP was given the option between summoning that or admitting defeat was given earlier after she summons the city of Mirage. Following that, we're given a story about how (for example, mind you) BP denies either option, and fights until she is suddenly caught in a circumstance where she's has her back against the wall and she must choose, THEN having her choose or hinted to choosing the locust and feeling empty about her victory or going into how she decides not to use magic with the father elaborating to his son how magic is a cop out. Also the whole "They're both bad but no one wins with magic" part in the last two panels, I feel coulda have been better written in regards to the fact that from what I understood, the Father was trying to give a lesson to the boy in how its better to win by your own hand than use magic. when you cannot win by your hand and are given the choice between using magic or admitting defeat it seemed while BP would be to proud, it's best to just admit defeat. However, the father also tells his son that retreating is "turnin yeller." I think what just bothers me is not that the message that I'm trying to get from the father is not ambiguous but it's not clear. If the lesson is also suppose to be that you turn down either and keep fighting until you win then objectively that wasn't executed properly either cause that lesson wasn't the focus of the story either. I will be fair and say that I understand given that you had one week to do this and you may have put more effort into just getting a story put together and getting it done but I juse want to give you these thing to think about in hopes that you give yourself a goal in staying more focused on the message during the writing of your future battles. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pyras pro- great textures, great use of color. The concept isnt that new but since we shows such as Bakugan and other toy-based anime similar to this battle but it's awesome to see an Entervoid version of this with familiar characters as the toys. You also have some good exposition that gives us an idea of how to play godopods for those like me who have yet to play. I had no problem with the magenta in the bg, maybe its a monitor thing. This comic is definately an improvement to your previous work. con- The text can be lengthy the simple solution would be more of a mattering a sequencing what is being said. For example with we rearranged page 2 with the the last panel being first, we could the announcers introducing themselves, introducing the setting and then in the the close up panels of sanari and kura's face, the anouncers could introduce us to each of them in theri respective panels. Doing so would have possible reduced the clutter of word balloons in page 2. I would suggest when writing, write the dialogue/exposition the way you did and firist see if you can compromise with condensing out by doing what guillermo del toro does "If you wont miss it, take it out." try to find ways to say things in fewer words while sounding natural. If it helps the pacing and tone spread out the dialogue/exposion to multiple bubbles throughout panel(s) so that you can keep a flow. It can be awkward if we're just seeing an image for a second and then spend 10 seconds on a wall of text. Check out Alan Moore's work if you need ideas on how to balance text and images. Also storywise, just like with Kura's story, I think the importance of Sanari wanting to include a character in the BP series should have been emphasized more by having her father in the first few pages questioning why that prize would be so important to her to that way the ending could be much more touching.

Pocketmouse's avatar
Pocketmouse
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Wowsers, what a week!! _______ Kura: Your storytelling is fantastic. Excellently paced and brilliantly told. It was easy to jump in and get invested in the characters. The second panel of page 7 was so enjoyable and full of life, easily my favourite panel in this comic. (except maybe top of page 5 but that's for totally different reasons) The places in your backgrounds where you've dropped large dark areas look good. Especially with the tent on page one. (Of course, you've handled this more confidently in past battles, probably for time reasons!) I think your backgrounds would benefit overall from having a bit more depth to them, which you could do by starting to incorporate some mid-tones. Looking at some 3-stage compositions with light/dark might help you strike a balance with this. One example I can think of would be the two bottom panels on page 5. The penultimate one you handled elegantly. But the final one could have looked more atmospheric if the dark tone on the towers went all the way down, only to be met with the white of the dust/smoke from her gun. So the 3 stages would have been the character in the foreground, the white smoke/dust at the base of the tower then the tower itself. The forms would just read better overall. _________ Pyras: When using colour without lines, it's so important to use contrast to create form. Contrast comes from not only Hue and Light/Dark, but also saturation. Make sure you have control over all 3 aspects when using colour, or your readers eyes will get lost. There are areas where your colours muddy too much in places you perhaps didn't intend. Best example is bottom panel of page 6. You've shifted the hue from blue to red in your shadow, so the underside of her hand is highlighted for readers, and the Godopod has been lost as it's such similar colours to the background. Tip for using gradients with your shading: The darkest part of a shadow will be the area after the 'terminator' is (where the shadow is first cast on a form). After this point it begins picking up reflected light again. It's not always compositionally the best choice, so try to at least keep your highest contrast shadows over the focal point for your readers. This will help guide their eyes. Try to keep your shade hue a contrast to your lighting hue, the more diffused the light (EG overcast day is v diffused, floodlight is very stark) the more desaturated and gentle the shadow will be. Please also remember that incredibly saturated colours benefit from desaturated ones to help balance them out. Especially if you're going to drop huge areas of bright red. This will overstimulate your readers eyes and if it's in the background, you'll need to drop the sats and adjust the hues on your characters to compliment. Works great for dramatic red skies and such. A nice gradient would break up and add depth when you are just using solid colour bgs in general. Personally, i think the last scene with the pink wallpaper would have looked tasty with a dark grey-blue gradient over it, to send it back but still maintain the local colour you wanted. Try not to get too hung up on local colours either, especially for your characters. It'll make choosing colours for everything else easier. I hope this stuff help you out for next time! I know it's a lot to think about, but if you're going to rely entirely on colour to create your images you must wield it with incredible skill! One last nit pick is going to have to be your speech bubbles. Having them lineless is a bold move but I feel like it wasn't the best way to handle them, especially when you have them breaking the boarders. The commentator's ones suffer especially from a lot of distracting tangents, where the little 'shouty lines' or whatever meet the panel boarders. While I agree that a stark black outline is not the right move for this style either, i think there is a more elegant solution to this. Maybe colour pick a dark colour from your page, and cast the outline in that? Or have your bubbles in a nice off-white. Or both idk, will be interested to see what you can find yourself if you keep experimenting. _________ AITE I know i've been harsh as heck on you both, so as a parting memento- Seriously grand stuff. Putting together so much in a week would have been a real slog, and you both gave it your all. It's really admirable and you should both be super proud of what you achieved here! Thanks for the great reads and can't wait to see what you both do next!

Pennydox's avatar
Pennydox
All-Rounder
9 years ago
I guess it was good timing that I came back to read stuff here for a little bit. Great work, both of you! As for critique, I don't have a ton of constructive ciritism (they're both really great), but here's some thoughts: Kura: I've noticed it for a while, and I don't know if it's a decision you make or you just never noticed, and I know you have an anime-ish style, but it would be cool to try more animated/exaggerated emotions with the character's faces. More of what page 7 and 8 are doing, but throughout the entire comic. The backgrounds are very white, even if there were details in the back. It would be cool to experiment with very subtle light grey tones for the backgrounds in the future. PyrasTerran: This is one of my favorite stories you've worked on so far. Great pacing, and you cut up the word bubbles a lot more this time around (good!). Colors are great too btw. Keep working on cutting text out or breaking it into smaller word bubbles (but don't break them too much!). Page 14/panel 1 has a funky perspective btw (trapezoid shape is a little too extreme on the sign).

E.W. Schneider's avatar
E.W. Schneider
All-Rounder
9 years ago
I'll have to save my critique for later, but you both did very well and made some enjoyable comics.

Cracking Skulls's avatar
Cracking Skulls
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Kura: I love the story you went with! Complete with jojo-posing Abbas and Sanari in a snazzy outfit. I noticed your female anatomy improved on some bits. My only nitpick is how you structure characters from a certain perspective like on page 4 first panel. BP's dad may have some facial structures you wanna work on in the future,along with Abbas', but it's definitely a step up from your normal stuff, I liked it! Pyras: Tho your vectors are improving and you've considered more on the color values this time around, I feel like you could push the highlights and shading more. I noticed you use more of a rounder edge when doing them, which, when overlapping some details and edges of characters and props, don't make quite a lot of sense. A good example of what I mean is page 11, third panel, where gigarapod has some weird shading happening. It works for smoke and fabrics tho, but for Gigara, looking like a character with a lot of edges, would have shading complimenting that. And yeah along with everyone else, too TL;DR, bro. Less talky, more showy.

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
9 years ago
it's not hot pink it's deep pink you philistine and I'll put whatever shade I want on my apartment walls! *fisticuffs* Thanks everyone for the critiques so far, some of these I feel like I knew after taking a look back, and believe me I really don't like how many words are in this comic, if i had at least an hour or two left I woulda cut down proper. I find that the more time I have the better I am with the script, but that's pretty obvi isn't it

Sabulive's avatar
Sabulive
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Okay i reread them again Pyras please dont use hot pink dear god

Sabulive's avatar
Sabulive
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Holy shiiiit Both sides were amazing! I don't feel like im great at giving critiques so Im just gonna highlight what stood out for me most. @Kura: You know how I feel about Abbas majestic treasure trail but holy shit, I think my favourite thing must have been BP's tears? I thought that those pages were she cries were utterly heartwrenching. It's sometimes super hard to properly convey sadness, especially tears that come from someone who gives it their all and STILL not being able to achieve their goal, and maaaaaaan those tears were so real. If there is something I want to see in your upcoming comics, its tragic emotion like this. Like others have said, the cliffhanger was a bit eh, but everything before that was hitting that spot @Pyras: Its a very pretty comic but please PLEASE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE cut down on that text! I just zoned out after around the 5th speech bubble on the first page and just skimmed. Many people have said this before in your past comics and it really hurts when you keep repeating it but you must really show, not tell! I would have rather had smack talk from Sanari and Kura than the commentators. Artwise, I think this style is lookin real good but fell a bit flat on the last two pages but that could be my bias against hot pink walls.

Jiisuri's avatar
Jiisuri
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Ah, just a little amendment on my "muddy" note cos I just realised it was misleading. What I meant was the shadows were muddy in contrast to the rest of the colours. As in, the shadows could either go darker and/or have a different hue from the base colour. In other words, more colour and value contrast to make the characters stand out better and be more defined. Like that last panel of the second last page. Kinda stands out how more defined the tv show is to "reality". Still a good effort, though.

Dechado's avatar
Dechado
All-Rounder
9 years ago
I... I don't... All of this. In 1 week. I can't. I need to lay down for a bit. Kura: It's good to see your comics in here again. I like your lineart a lot. And it's good to see the reason Bullet Princess hates magic so much be portrayed in a comic. I think my favorite is page 5. So many characters! :D Pyras: Once again, I really like how you've done your work here. Seems to be similar to Miller's Storyteller, only way more polished? I am not sure if that is a thing to say, but I really like it. I know you mentioned you rushed with the lettering, but agh, grammar is a huge nitpick for me, so I'm gonna call you on that. There was also too much text in single bubbles. Not sure if that is much of a problem for others, but I personally find it draining to have so much words. Makes it boring and not very dynamic, especially for an action comic like yours.

Animeshen's avatar
Animeshen
All-Rounder
9 years ago
One week!! You guys couldn't have done this in one week and also slept, so tell me the secret of staying awake for six straight nights drawing!! XD You guys both put an INSANE amount of work into these and the quality shows! Great job!! Kura! First off I fucking love the way you draw Abbas. The first panel of him on page two is my all time FAVORITE. This whole comic has such incredible scenery and backgrounds, I loved the two armies lining up and the Desert Kingdom's first appearance, you really make a rich world. I also liked seeing Bullet Princess struggling, it made her more relateable. page 8 is full of incredible expressions. Like Jii though I'm a little disappointed the story kind of drops off and we dont know what happened! I mean I understand the moral being told but its a bit anti-climactic. Still, i think this was my favorite episode of Bullet Princess, you worked hard and it shows! Pyras! ok but Lilypod being the only one who can take out Millerpod is my new favorite cameo thank you XD And the very last panel was so unexpected I burst out laughing, it was so stupid and so funny and I think it totally made the scene LOL! This was a very entertaining story, great to see the Godopods back! I dunno what everyone else is gonna say about it, but I thought drawing Kura into the comic was a riot! I do wish BP had gotten a little more focus, she didnt really get any stellar knock-out moments like some of the other characters which is kinda too bad. The ending was my favorite because it had a sweet moment as well as an incredibly stupid one lol so its a nice lead-in to future Sanari comics. As for the art, ok but HOW long did The Storyteller take you? And by contrast, you did all this in a week??? Damn! Your vector style is really coming along! The colours look really nice- I actually disagree with Jii that they look muddy, I like the colourful shadows but Im also not brilliant at colour so feel free to ignore me there. The lack of backgrounds is a bit noteable in some places but the effects manage to mask that sometimes. I think this comic is a huge step up from your other Sanari comics! Great job, both of you! i'm totally floored at the quality of these!

Jiisuri's avatar
Jiisuri
All-Rounder
9 years ago
Kura: Good job man, love the inking. Also a pretty good plot here, just a little frustrating that we don't know her final decision, but a little ambiguity doesn't hurt no one~ Just a little nitpick: some pages like the 7th and 9th page could use more blacks. Maybe tweak the line widths or add more black shades to give it some oomph and make the characters pop out. Other than that, good job and have some good sleep. Pyras: You sir made me chuckle. Pat yourself on the back for that. You managed to catch me off guard and give me a fun read. Much of it was referential humour related to many an in-joke on this site, but the pacing and timing is pretty strong. Some notes, though. As you've said, your text work needs a LOooooot of work. You really gotta like split up the dialogue man, I don't wanna read huge piles of text in one box. Also, your colours are actually pretty muddy. You need more contrast on those colours cos your characters are getting lost in the background a lot. Speaking of backgrounds, you're gonna need a liiiittle more stuff in your panels. There's a lot of empty space going on that just appying a gradient won't solve. Good fight you two. I await the next round.

G.Lo's avatar
G.Lo
All-Rounder
9 years ago
How the fart do you people do this in one week you are all satan. Real comments later!

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Majikura
All-Rounder
9 years ago
uploaded. three all nighters in a row...my god never again.

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PyrasTerran
Writer
9 years ago
oh i wanted to add before it got posted publicly: -this is probably my best Sanari comic when it comes to quality of the art, so I'm proud of that -the story may be unexpected; I basically rolled with what it says on Bullet Princess' page that it's a show in the void "canon". I hope the story doesn't come off as a bad surprise to the rest of you. -In all my efforts focusing on the art itself I found myself rushing the word bubbles so they're absolute shit and I'm sorry for that

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Animeshen
All-Rounder
9 years ago
I'm excited!! Good luck, you guys!!

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Majikura
All-Rounder
9 years ago
I've been waiting for this for a looong time.