Hobbit: It's got good starts, but I find it weird how small you made pam. And, obviously everyone mentioned the whole red text thing. My suggestion is just using some old video game text boxes, as cliche as it might sound, would just look nice. Next round I want a finished plot comic though.
Hobbittastic:
For anyone wondering the lyrics in my comic I got from Pam's profile...
Once I realzed this while checking out both the profiles again after my first readthrough I ended up loving your comic even more honestly.
Hobbitssss:
I loved this little story <3 It was short and simple and gosh you just absolutely KILL IT with body language and expressions.
I'm a 50/50 with the lyrics, and I know that's more personal taste so I'm trying my damnedest to keep my personal tastes out of it haha. I agree with what the others say about the font kind of taking you out of the story and I also agree that using the red color kind gives away the ending. Your story obviously shows that it's a possibility for death to occur cuz fighting with magic and pointy things, but they way you showed the fight, someone could die, or a friend could've been made! And I think you could of kept some suspense if the only red you showed was the blood (which I really liked!)
I also think that because you're super star with expressions and body language, you could have totally gone without any lyrics and just gone with a silent comic (is that what those are called? I have no idea.) and I think that would've been cool too!
Also I really really really really really like Pixel's reflection in the sword blade on page pg 4. <33
Monday:
but nowhere is it written that it could be grounds for taking down their work
Liostro himself ragequit from what we can tell, you goofus. You showed up late to the party.
Hey guise I understand that Liostro didn't display the best attitude when taking critique but nowhere is it written that it could be grounds for taking down their work. The fight is still ongoing, there are votes to be made and you can't be fucking around with the work these people did even if it's shit. A comic's a comic.
"You mowed the lawn, sure, but it looks like shit"
"I have a 40+ hour job, I aint got time to mow a lawn well. You don't like it? deal with it!"
"I asked you to clean the dishes... but there's still food stuck to them."
"Don't attack me! I only spent a little bit of time on it, if you don't like it, fuck you"
"I gave you a C- on your homework because, while some of the answers are right, you didn't show your work"
"I work 40+ hours, I don't have time for this. Jesus, it's people like you that are the reason no one wants to come here"
Maybe putting your shit excuses in different scenarios will get through to you.
But I've seen this shit before. I doubt it will. It's just like putting more wood on the fire. Oh, you know what? One more example that might hit closer to home for you:
"Thanks for designing that character sheet I asked you to do. But, you know, I'm not a fan of the bright colors, I think they clash, and don't really lend themselves to be soothing to the eyes. If you could change that before you leave work today, that'd be great"
"Fuck you, if you don't like my choices, then don't say anything at all! It's people like you who are the reason no one wants to come around here anymore."
Oh look, I can delete stuff too, doesn't make it so it never happened
For anyone wondering the lyrics in my comic I got from Pam's profile which is why I included them. Pam doesn't have a ton of material so I decided to use the song in her profile. I like using songs/poems etc (Like for the Black and Blue comics) every once in a while and thought this time it'd fit with them fighting. Just in case anyone is confused where the fuck that came from.
Liostro:
So I am a bad person for sticking up for my work?
Yes. Until your breakdown, nobody was insulting you.
[quote]but someones else's criticisms are okay?
Now you're getting it! Critiques go hand-in-hand with comics and art on Void. You don't ask for them - it's just part of the community here. You get them whether you want to or not. If you wanted to post comics and art without critique, you could always go to DeviantArt.
Rofl was a bit heavy-handed in his critique, and it woulda been good if he mentioned more what he liked, too - but if you don't like the critique, do what other people do: IGNORE IT.
HOBBITASTIC- I'm gonna have to agree with Fern. I like that people can use music lyrics or poetry to use as dialogue for a comic ,but I always come away wanting. Be that for character development, what THEY themselves are thinking or just generally the artists own words (then again what do I know. This poem may very well be self written). I do like your action scenes overall, but there's something about them digital inks that just feels like it could use some tightening up. I'd be suuuper duper curious to see what your traditional work looks like. Also, whats with the tiny Pam? Embrace the beast man! Would've loved to have seeen this beast going toe to toe with pixel. If nothing else, it would've enhanced your standoff.
Still though, great effort for just one week. Best of luck to ya!
Liostro: Oh, so you're that kind of person. Okay. I can let go of this easier that way.
Hobbitastic: Very fun comic! I really enjoy your sort of song like rhythm it's got going on. You're pacing is good, but I'd work on your angles for some of your more dynamic shots Like the first and 3rd panel of page 2 are kinda falling a little flat with due to the angle and posing. the 3rd panel in particular feels less like a dodge, more like a bunny hop. Also, I do like what you've done with the red on black and white (what I'm totally not biased to that aesthetic, noooooo) but I think it might have played out stronger if you had kept the red to the last page. It feels like you were going for a very intense reveal, but the fact that the red text allowed time to have the brain accept the color, it made the ending a lot less visually striking than I feel like you were going for.
Overall, I really enjoyed it, and hope to see you try out some similar stuff in the future.
Liostro:
I work a 40+hr professional art job
Do you begin crying and ranting when you receive feedback there, too?
Nobody cares about your justifications. If you don't like his critique, ignore it.
Hobbititititi
As much as i am not a fan of poetry/comics mixture (ironically thats something i am working on atm) i think you pull it off allright. It kinda fits but is not a too literal interpretation of the text. But i think the more removed from the text it would be the better these things get. Tom Humberstones stuff is a pretty good example of it working, i.e. http://ventedspleen.com/blog/2013/10/21/bear-of-the-artist/ so if you want to go more in that direction... Do look at his stuff :P (if i am not making any sense i blame teh cold)
Liostro:
I did my Pam pages in about 6-7 hours, from start to finish.
It shows!
Liostro. I like to be civil. I do. But fuck you. Don't you dare say that people didn't give everything in this. Saying something isn't finished because it's not colored? Honestly, I'm livid. I'm furious. Good for you, you have an art job. Great to see your sense of profesionalism to insult other people's work to defend your own.
Isn't the entire point of this site to accept criticism to improve your work? I feel like saying "I didn't ask for feedback" is a moot point here. No ones work is 100% perfect. No one. Everyone should be able to take criticism with grace. Whether you choose to take it into consideration or apply it is your choice.
maybe I shouldn't butt my head in here though since I am new and all.
Anyway...
Liostro: I think it may just be because I'm not familiar with these characters yet but I kind of wasn't sure if Pam was fighting an inner monologue or something else was talking to her in her head. Loved Pixel's bouncing head though, gave me a good giggle. I think Pam's pants are a little too saturated though and it kind of distracts a little for me.
Hobbit: I have such a weakness for song comics and this one just flowed beautifully (Well, once I realized it was a song anyway, but that's on me haha). I'm not a fan of the font you used though, its kind of jarring. I like that Pixel died personally. I agree that a beast like Pam would probably whoop her ass.
Both of you: I'm not really digging the backgrounds. Aside from Hobbit's last panel, both comics have fights taking place in undetailed voids, and while through most of Hobbit's comic that works the first panel in the what I believe is grass I think could've used a tad more.
I know Pixel dying in my comic might be a weird choice but it seemed like the right thing to do? Like, I'm pretty sure Pixel would get her ass kicked by Pam and when I was writing the ending it seemed to be the only choice that made sense. She's not really dead-dead (I like to think for each comic after her death she gets a 1-Up shroom or something haha). I mostly had them the same size for staging on my part. And yeah the red text was SUPPOSE to allude to there being blood eventually so when it does happen it's not like THIS RANDOM RED. It also helps because the text goes over black and white and a black or white font would complicate things. Yeah I need to find a text. I keep trying out different ones and none of them seem to work out. I ended up picking that font because it was the most "okay looking" choice I had found. I'm not sure if i can import fonts to FireAlpaca (I'll look into it). Honestly I loved drawing Pam she was really fun and it was nice to do a story just on action and movement.
Liostro- O. M. G. I thought Pixel was so funny in your comic. I cracked up at her head bouncing part and the dialog was a good choice for her.
Liostro: Don't get upset man. I mean sure he kinda tore into your comic, and sure he said a lot of negative things about not liking your color choice, the line quality bugs him, not liking the style compared to other stuff you've done, that what he thought was vector looks like you put your art through a grinder(ouch), lacking in excitement, everything looks flat, the color of her pants and the blood making the comic a visually weak comic
I'm sorry I forgot where i was going with that...
Yeah some peeps wont really offer good comments sometimes. Instead of just leaving it at not liking that type of style choice they'll just tear into it. I'm sure he was trying to help somehow just went in a different direction then he intended but I guess I cant speak for him.
I actually really like the style choice just as much the first time you battled with her and is one of the reasons I was excited to see Pam back in action. I love this style and how quickly it clashes with the brutality and profanity and I think the contrasting colors do the same thing. It all works really well together and I like that your exercising this style out. Fantastic job man
Hobbittastic: Yo kudos to you. I'm really glad you did the music montage type battle that Pam is known for. It isnt easy and appreciated your side of this. And I know its minor but the underarm hair was really funny. So did pixel princess die at the end then? That part took me for a loop since I'm expecting your character to kill your opponents character and make's me feel like I'm missing a page. Use a better font next time as this font choice seems like an after thought.
Liostro: Good to see you return for this tournament. So, besides your giant file sizes, I guess I'm not a fan of your color choices in this comic. On top of that, your line quality just bugs me. (Was this vector graphics? I've never felt they've translated well into comics.) I actually went through your website early on, to kind of see what you had in your portfolio, and I gotta say, if your comics looked anything like some of your sketches such as that blue-pencilled yeti or your Heisenberg they would look so much better, because it feels like a much more naturalistic touch to it.
Going with vector (assuming here) makes your lines in this comic feel like you kind of put them through a grinder to process them into something safe and kind of lacking in excitement. Putting a flat border around people works sometimes, but it makes your work end up looking flat too as a result for the most part.
I think the blood being as bright red as it is on top of just how neon Pam's pants are kind of bug me I think. It takes away from your comic I think and makes it feel sort of weak visually to me. I think I could accept the lines if the coloring was more complex and gave more depth or those colors with more dynamic lines, but together I think it hurts your work a bit.
The story itself is fine, this being a death tournament after all, I got no problem with just going around killing dudes you come across, but I really wish you had more exciting environments to have it take place in. Your last comic kind of had this same problem, so, I hope if you move on you can display some interesting backgrounds to show off.
Hobbitastic: This was fun! It was nice to see you do an action sequence, since I can't recall that too much from your time on here (usually it feels like you play the jokes game). So, right away, I think your font choice didn't mesh with your style at all and kind of hurt this comic. Going on a computer font like that could really hurt and diminish the value of your comic, making the quality lower as a result, even if your inked works are looking beautiful. The red color itself seemed like an alright choice for readability, but I think a white font would have been even more striking against black, going entirely black and white until maybe the end when blood is introduced. Once I saw the red font, it actually made me expect to see blood, too. So, I think that kind of undermines the "surprise" of seeing the blood (in a death tournament even, I know).
I thought it was strange to showcase Pixel Princess the exact same size as Pam Hamcakes. You did a nice job of making a cute fat girl with a sword (actually really nice, I liked how you handled the proportions on her), but it didn't feel like the 9 foot beast she should be. I felt your action sequence was pretty nicely set up, but the page 3 "V for Victory" doesn't feel like she's about to cast a spell. Also, I think you should investigate on making her blasts and magic spells being more interesting to look at beyond just being pixelated fireballs and experiment some. Overall, this was a great little comic and I thought you did a nice job.
oh no! Pixel Princess got a game over in both of these! ^^;
Liostro, ah, the file sizes were kinda big so that made it a bit difficult! ^^; but you have big panels too so i was able to follow the flow. I liked Pam's paranoia and questionable sanity. Im sad she cut off her luscious locks, though, lol! I should like to see more comics from you on the site, you have a great style!
Hobbit! What a lovely battle/dance! Not much for story but it was certainly pretty to look at! its got a feel of frienemies or something, a lot of complex emotions seem to be unfolding. Beautiful in its simplicity! Good job!
Gosh, you both needed to resize your comics... haha
Both simple, both of decent to good quality between pages. It ended up being pretty even between the both of you.
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