MISTERMINTS- For a second, I thought your first page was a creative take on panel arrangement. The way you sectioned off the scene and the characters almost seems like we're following events panel to panel. It's a shame I'm not quite clear on whats going down since this doesnt seem done (nor has dilagoue), but if your first page was any indication, it would've looked rich!
SABU- FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU >=[
Hmm. Not too much to say. It's too bad about the default, Sabulive, and the unfinished comic MisterMints. I look forward to the inevitable rematch when schedules are more aligned, as well as the finished BB of the above incomplete entry.
Here are some notes I took while reading Mints' comic:
I liked the amount of details you were adding to the setting of this comic. I know it starts t get a little more bare towards the end, but I am guessing that was more a time thing then anything. Keep that up. Little things like "this-end-up" arrows on boxes (page 1), Cameos (Page 1), and other characters in the backgrounds doing other things, these all bring a sense of life and atmosphere. Even though it's a black and white comic, things like that help to add "color." I also liked the line width variance from background to foreground. This helped to add depth, especially in page one. This is something I still struggle with. Good job!
There were a couple of things that I thought could maybe be improved upon. One was the missing faces on Johnny Sweet (Page 2, panel 2,5). On page 1, Johnny was way further away, and still had a rendered face, however in both mentioned panels, she is far closer to the 'camera,' and yet as no facial features. It could be just me, but it seemed a little odd. I also think that had I not known Johnny Sweet was female, I am not sure I would have known in this comic. Part of it was the height difference, especially in the last panel with the ladder, but part of that is the scaling of Cornelius as well.
Overall though, I know how Decembers go, always seems like a great time to get stuff done, then suddenly it's New Years and you have no idea where the month went. Hopefully we see you both clash again soon!
The only thing I can say is to do more figure drawing and watch your scale from person to person.
That first page- the background seems to be working fine but those people are not the scales they should be; Cornelius is way too big compared to the smoking guy where they are in the environment. Also his pose for the "walking out of the curtain" looks like an inbetween when it should be a keyframe (IF THAT MAKES SENSE sorry I'm using animation terms). It's not that that pose is wrong, but it's awkward and doesn't sell the silhouette.
Sorry the match didn't turn out.
Thanks for the feedback! I def. agree that I need a lot of practice making poses more natural. I make it up in my head too much instead of using references. I feel like getting the speech in there also would have helped the flow somewhat, but I totally see where you're coming from.
i had problems following the panels... while nice and clean they didnt flow for me. just arranged beside each other with nothing to really lead your eye. maybe just me...
what neens said about poses is worth it for sure. actually i think its mostly the third page but if you would handle arm and hand positions better a lot of these poses might have made a way more natural impression.
Urgh gonna have to ditto xcept i did WORSE
December was shoddy and got nothin, and will be defaulting on this one. Im so sorry Mints, I talked too much shit and couldnt serve it.
Also hoping to get this done soon, hopefully uploaded during the first week of January
I uploaded the pages that I have, my ass got kicked by so many different things both physically and figuratively haha. Ii'm sorry I couldn't put up more of a fight after all that smacktalk. I'm gonna revisit in the new year and see if I can get the full comic up as a BB
Comments (11)