Thanks Puzzlething I'll try to remember those things next time
Hobbittastic you can check out blambot.com for some free fonts to use. I use DigitalStrip myself~
@_@ someone please tell me want font to use for comics! I have no idea what to use but I do know NOT to use Comic Sans.
Yeaaah sorry again about the lack of finish for my comic. I didn't think doing two comics at once would be bad, especially since I was a good chunk done with Clown Ps, but omg that is a lot to do!
Pyras -
Your colour pallete is kinda unfocused. Your characters remain the exact same hue and value throughout the whole comic, and their original colour schemes don't mix very well, nor do they mix well with the pink and yellow apartment. Don't be afraid to push color around dramatically to create unity, especially when you have characters like Sanari who are normal people and can easily just wear different clothes. As long as the character is still recognizable, you should go crazy with the colours!
I think you're starting to get better at making curved lines without just using angled curves, but your line art could still be way more expressive. Your lines are kinda the same length all throughout the stroke. Try to inject some life in there! Getting your lines feeling natural and lively will especially help you sell these more humorous stories.
You could also try to illustrate compression a little more. Like, there's often no visual compression of flesh in your characters elbows where the forearm and bicep meet. And when characters place their hands somewhere on their body, there's often no compression of their clothing or bodies at the point of contact. It makes it feel like theres a lack of force and weight, which makes the whole thing feel less natural.
Also, it's just a nitpick, but you should spend a little time focusing on your hands dude. You draw them a little simpler than they need to be, you could really get some more structure in there.
Hobitt -
The text elements are all super distracting. That font feels more like something you would write an essay with. I'm not really sure there's alot more for me to say than that? The gray void background makes me sad, but it's not like you're unaware of it haha. It's a nice comic! I still love your characters and expressions, they're always so cute. Standouts were totally Sanari on the top of page 2 and Meredith in the upper right corner of 4. Ahhh, so nice!
Thanks for the crit Shen~
Yeah I think the general consensus is accumulating that folks don't want Sanari comics to be meta/4th wall for all the reasons, so I'll let that go in future issues. I want to also use Sanari comics to build on Void City stuff, like the Voiderus in vs. Johnny Sweet, but I can find better ways to introduce these ideas so I'll work on that. I'm glad Abbas worked for you, I focused all my funny into his moments. I see he and Boom having a good dynamic in the future.
Thanks again~
I feel like these comics could potentially exist in the same universe, one where Meredith meets Abbas like "omg fuck fuck please don't turn me into a potted plant or something" and Abbas is just thinking "dat ass" XD
Hobbit- like it was kind of mentioned, it seemed like this sort of petered out at the end, which is a bummer, but thats already been addressed. I do like how you draw Sanari and Abbas, and your expressions are very animated. You have nice lines too. I'm not really sure what else to say, theres not much ventured or gained or lost, its just a nice little comic.
pyras- i feel like kura was right in that there was a bit too much text- maybe you could have cut part of Sanari and Meredith's conversation without losing too much. and on page two you tried to lampshade your infodump with a 4th wall gag but those are tricky to get right and I'm not sure Sanari is the character for them? it came off a bit strange to me from her. However i loved pretty much everything Abbas did in this comic, I thought his, ah, obvious interest in Meredith lol and conversation with Boom were very funny! And the look on his face in the last panel cracks me up! I can't wait to see more comics from them again!
Great job, guys! I loved 'em!
Hobbit:
There's not much to say, you had this huge buildup to a rather unsatisfying anti-climax. Something needed to actually happen with Abbas to make Meridith's paranoia amount to something.
Yeah, I didn't have enough time to do what I wanted so it kinda leaves off at a tbc situation only i should have mentioned it. probably will continue this comic with a BB. But thanks for the comment, I have arch problems.
Basically the entire comic Pyras. There is text to read on every panel save for two, and your balloons are filled to the brim with text like on page 2, panel 3 (10 lines in 1 bubble!) . So what that does is slow down the pacing of your comic considerably and takes away from the art. Page 4's back and forth banter between Abbas and boom should have ended the page, but instead we go straight back to Meredith and Sanari talking more exposition. Turning the page is anticipation in itself, that could have been used to break up the timing from page 4 to 5. With the way that it is right now, there is no break inbetween scenes and Boom and Abbas are buddy-buddies within 5 panels.
Kura thanks for the crit, could you give some examples of jokes/gags in the comic that have no windup/follow through and how it's affecting it negatively, and any suggestions on how it might have been better? I appreciate the analysis
Pyras: Your jokes don't have any windup or follow through. It's just one after the other with no pauses in between. I recommend lessening the amount of text as well, it felt like everything was exposition instead of it feeling like a conversation.
Hobbit: There's not much to say, you had this huge buildup to a rather unsatisfying anti-climax. Something needed to actually happen with Abbas to make Meridith's paranoia amount to something.
YOU MADE THE PERFECT COMIC FOR ME WHYYYYY
okay so i may or may not have a ton of disney genie merchandise (and i met the supervising animator, eric goldberg) so i loved boom asking about "friend like me" ;-;
also THAT BUTT JOKE WITH ABBAS i totally did in my first animation ever and seeing the same thing happen with meredith made me laugh so hard.
seriously, i love your characters and i wish i could have spent more time on my comic- so i started an idea for a beyond battle, if it's cool to use Sanari and Abbas again.
OMG doing two comics at once is so hard (how do some of you do it??)
I hope you enjoy the comic- I did what I could while battling Britt and painting my apartment haha
Love your characters, Pyras, and I really want to use them soon c:
Comments (17)