NRG: Wow dude I am super impressed at your progress, you've improved dramatically since I last saw your work. Keep it up man! You still need to watch some story structure issues, such as introducing new characters and clarity but really, you're making good strides.
Here's a hint: When you thumb, show it to someone else. If they can't understand what's happening, you'll need to change bits.
BY MERLINSBEARD: Dude these page sizes are HUGE, I usually go for 800px max width, and I know others who do hyper detailed stuff that only needs 600px. The key is composition so if at smaller sizes it's tricky to understand, you need to rethink that panel.
The floating text narrative with changing colour blends into the art and doesn't really read clearly. try using narrative boxes or seperate panels to do this. I really liked how you mirrored Jessie and Geeta at the start. You lose that later on with Jessie being dominated in their tussle, I think it would have been stronger to position them more as equals with different philosophies then having Geeta overpower her so much.
I think you used literally all of the colours in that 2nd pages final panel dayum. Simplify it! The mass of colours is messy and hogs the spotlight from the action.
Love how expressive your characters are, but Jessie does look more cheesed off than sad in that last page. Also wow. That's alot of blood.
Loving a first entry like this though, keep it up!
NRG; Holy heck! Forget all the wrongs, you've improved in great leaps from what I last saw of you! Genuinly impressed with your progression, hope you are motivated to keep it up! No crit this time, just a hearty slap on the back; good job!
Merlinsbeard, hey great first fight! I love the action and drama, and your use of shadows, especially on the first two pages! Geeta and Jessie work well together! I think your file sizes are a LITTLE big, like I have a big monitor so its fine but it still fills the whole screen and a smaller monitor might have some issues. Great first showing! hope to see you around more!
energy I sorta like the watercolour shading thing you're doing but its still a bit messy, but I'm sure you can clean that up with practice. I also realized that Jessie herself doesnt actually do anything this whole comic lol. I would have liked to see her go help Geeta but if you are going somewhere with this then you have piqued my curiosity. also when you draw people in profile you tend to draw their eyes a little too far forward so they look a little cyclopian, make sure in profile their eyes don't touch the outline of the face where the bridge of the nose is.
My First Battle!
I feel so honored.
NRG your character is wonderful with such a rich back story, it was good to have such an established lady to pair with mine. And learning from the critiques from the intro comic, I made a big cityscape for the first panel! I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks of the art and story.
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This inhuman place makes human monsters.