SQUIDNEY- Congratulations on completing your first battle! I dig how this was more of a get to know you comic more than a true battle. I found myself super intrigued by the mountain queen and her antics. Cool build up to her creepiness too! I feel some of your uses of photoshop extras were sort of distracting- namely the use of the stroke tool to border your text with white. I understand the purpose was to push the text so it stood out from your backgrounds/art, but I feel a word bubble alone would've sufficed. I'm assuming you're writing your own font, so do be careful with the stylization. Some of the words I had to squint to really read what was written. Nice job catching your opponenets deadpan humor- the first page definitely had me chuckling.
LEFRED- What can I say that hasn't already been said? A whole lotta nothing that's what XD Gosh, your watercolors, man. They definitely enchanced your linework and gave your whole comic the dreamlike quality I think you intended. The little things like begining and ending the dream with Lucy in Hyena girls lap, or the forest scene where all the leaves begin to look like Mountain queens hair were all very lovely touches. I found myself going over each page more than once, haha!
You guys took this to similar places but ended up with such drastically unique comics! Really enjoyed the read :)
Le Fred:
I'm not used to watercolours and they took FOREVER.
Yes but super worth it, because watercolors are beautiful and fantastic *_* I'm infinitely jealous of anybody who can use them, because I can't. So, for not being used to them, you did reaally good <3
Yeah, I'm not super happy with the way I ended it either. I wanted to make another page or two, but I'm not used to watercolours and they took FOREVER. Anyway. Thanks for the feedback bros.
Squidney, Everyone is so freaking expressive and lovely in your comic, I love it!
@Squid- I love your art style, and yeh, she was toootally creepy, and I like the way you write! The dialogue is witty and it was fun to read! Exceeept for two things- While fun to read, the dialogue was also a bit difficult to read. That font made me a bit squinty, I don't think I could've read the whole thing if it were longer. Second, stuff like "plot relevant SHOVE" while amusing, brought me out of the story. And, now that I think about it, I'd also suggest making your action word things a different font than your dialogue, so it doesn't get confusing <3 Still. It was kind of awesome.
Fred! HI FRED <3 Your colors are so pretty. And not having borders on the panels made it feel super-dreamy, so it fit with the weeird acidtrip of a story. The only thing that really seemed off was, the ending seemed sort of abrupt? Like there should be one more page, even just one more panel, with her being all, "Fucking hyneas" or "Stupid Tacos" or "Stupid fucking hyena tacos" or something. And if the last two panels are supposed to be the 'real world' and not just dream-within-a-dream-within-a-dream, then I feel like maybe it should be separated a bit from the other panels? Like, if it had borders. Or a harsher style of coloring, with less pretty colors? Like, just flat brown shading, or something.
Nice little diddys. Generally, both had a good, kinda relaxed feel.
Squid, you had a bit of a tighter ending, though it felt a touched rushed with lucy finishing so many sentences. Still good overall. I also loved how clear your ink work was in
As for LeFred, definitely dreamy/bad trip feeling all the way through... but the last two pages feel... broken somehow. Not like shattered or something, I think a word that sounds a little more mushy would work better, but the point is that you kinda have this direction shift, then it petters out, after which we get a bit of a puke. I'm not against that, just it felt kinda off for the rest of the story. It kinda made me forget the wonder and surrealness of the rest of the comic and ask 'why?'
Both comics are very beautiful!
Squid's dedication on the Inking really shows up and Le Fred's amazing colors give a very calm mood to the story
Again, I don't know much, but this is what I as a reader, noticed on your comics:
@Squid - Loved all the story until page 7, when it suddenly cuts to the splash page. The cut there for me is not as soft as the rest of your comics and it pops, breaking the Rhythm of the plot. Maybe one extra page linking the action on page 7 to 8 would help. :)
@Le Fred - The colors totally blend with the mood you are conveying, very nice! But in the last page I was like: "What did just happened here? was that a dream the whole time?" If so, the transition to when she wakes up, could be more soft, it's not clear for me what happened... hope it helps! :)
I think I enjoyed both comics a lot.
Squidney: You definitely have a characteristic and lovely style. It's good to see the quality did not drop at all from your Intro to your first comic. Good job on that!
I am still VERY iffy about you using your handwriting as text, as I had some trouble reading the dialogues.
Also, it might be a good idea to avoid using the Blur Tool as much as possible.
I loved your expressions. I think none of the character had any pupil, yet it was easy to read their emotion.
I quite enjoyed the background on the last page.
(Can I just say. I found it hilarious that in the tags you added "naked people")
LeFred: I'll have to agree with Pyras and say that your side looked like a bad trip, since Hyena Girl's depiction seemed a bit odd for her character. It's true that we don't know much about her, but I felt her intro comic she was portrayed as a reserved person instead of a "Here, lemme show you my pseudo-dick"
Aside from that, I loved your colors.
One thing that really caught my attention was the body types. HNNNNG.
Pretty comic
I love the art and dialogue for both of these for sure, but very little actually happens..
I guess in Squidney's a slight tad more is happening (hyena girl gets a new friend), but in lefred's i can only assume it's bad trip, and nothing more..
Still the art and dialogue were top notch y'all, hope to see more!
Still very excited....Squid...this is your first match and first time uploading....contact a Council Member if you run into any problems but consult the Help section in forums first and be sure to read about submission requirements and upload failures.
About time you two got to fighting! I was worried no one would challenge Hyena Girl and Squidney would just leave us and we would be forever bereft of her amazing art!
DO GOOD JOB GUYS!
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