Otaku -
I think G.lo knocked it out of the park with that crit, so I don't have much to say. If you're having trouble with backgrounds though, just go crazy with photo refs! There's no way for you to internalize and learn the ridiculous complexity of even the most normal, everyday objects unless you observe them first. There are weird, small details that you just never notice, and you're certainly not gonna remember them when your working.
I really love that I'm starting to see you suggest muscle definition with directional hatching along the length of the limbs, it looks great yo! This whole comic is really looking great, you're really starting to lay down the polish. Your faces are also starting to feel stronger, and more solid. Your really improving, like alot alot.
My only unique criticism would be that I think the action scenes from page 2 could've could've had a little more oomph. Especially since it's them reminiscing about a chaotic situation, I feel like you could gotten that feeling of chaos down visually. Like, really get the shot in close, and exaggerate the depth of stuff.
Slade -
Ah that sucks man, but it'd be cool if you finished! Your polished art is supapritty!
Taylor: Holy exposition Batman. This comic was very tell not show, so I can't say i was a big fan to your approach to this. Page 2's montage could have shown more of the events that happened in the past with less narration of it.
Slade: I know the circumstances behind your decision, but I'm gonna say it anyways. This comic would have worked better as a BB like you intended instead of inserting Tsumi in there.
otakutaylor: Is this the first comic I've seen you use color? I like your new direction! You have some depth issues with the shading. A usual rule to follow is that things that are towards the viewer are darker, and things further away are lighter/less saturated. I think for the flashbacks though, there wasn't enough color variants to indicate it...maybe add a much more grey tone, or one color tone...something to make it completely distinguishable that what they were talking about and what's going on behind it is different.
Slade: This looks....sketchy :P
Do you plan to continue the story on a beyond battle?
And an excellent pair they are G.Lo! hehe.
I'm really glad to hear something I can work on. Backgrounds are still really difficult for me to think about because I still mentally see them as... well, backgrounds. Instead of necessary environment to the story. I didn't have too much time to spend on the shading like i'd wanted too, and couldn't make too many differences in shading type, but I will definitely try and see if I can find different texture brushes for different materials. That sounds like something that's really missing. I had actually added a faint yellow over the whole comic to try and make them all seem a similar tone, since prior it was just the design sheet colors taken directly and looked a bit to wild and random saturated. Need me some serious color theory practice! hehe.
Thanks so much for the critique~
I'm gonna grow a pair and actually comment on something :|
otakutaylor:
It's nice seeing a complete story with so few pages. I think you paced it really well and told everything you wanted to, but still left a "what's next for Tsumi" feel. The self identity bit is interesting!
Yay colors! Where I do like the added colors, I think you could work on adding some more values to your work. Everything seems to have one value - a flat value and then something a little darker for shading. It would really help bring the viewer's attention to what you want them to focus on. Also, I think using the soft shading on everything is only getting you so far. I think it's necessary to do a little bit of both soft and hard, or giving objects/clothes and what not different textures to differentiate from skin. It's tough to balance that sort of stuff, I know I definitely struggle with it too. I honestly think that given the amount of information you gave in your story, your amount of backgrounds were adequate but they were a little boring. We got the idea of the places we were at but I felt like maybe adding a poster or some sale signs or something that made that store a specific place would have given it an interesting touch.
That robot dude is awesome. I want one! On page 2, I love the perspective on the second panel! I also love Tsumi's face in the last panel about to give Anita the beatdown with her boot hehe.
This was a nice little read and I do love me some Tsumi comics :D
Slade:
Awww man I wish you could have cleaned this up more. The line art you did have finished was looking fantastic! The variation in your lines is pleeasssiing <3 Kudos for amazing expressions, too. Everyone's expression seemed to be appropriate and well executed for the situation. The story was a nice segway onto something bigger - I hope we get to see that soon!
Like I said, I wish you could have finished as it was a bit on the messier side, but I think it was clean enough to convey your story. I am a little confused though on what Anita is "covering" on page 3? Is she covering the fact that she's essentially bringing Brute back to life or just using magic in general? Also, a teensy bit more backgrounds would have been nice. I like the opening panel on page 2 and the background seemed like it would had some oomph but it's unfinished so no idea.
Great job and I do hope we get some more Anita soon. I dig her and I'm curious what her plans are :o
AAAAAAAND UPLOADED~ Made all color pretty just in the nick of time. I really hope I figured out the new uploader correctly and all three pages went up ok, but on my side they all seem to work fine! C'mon Slade, Show me what you got!
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