Wu- atatatatatatatatat -
Hell yeah bro, draw all that city! I really like how you pushed the background for the fight. Not only did you make a clear effort to include your setting quite often, but it's not just *RANDOM BOX BUILDING FRONT #2432*. There are unique design elements to the area, and the storefront itself. I'm a little sad the big city shot on the top of page two doesn't have the personality of the first wide shot, but attempting curvilinear perspective is niiiiice. Remember, even when you have a distorted perspective, you need to keep your vanishing points in mind. The tops of the buildings and the door in the background don't go towards your vanishing point. They need to be angled more. It's a very well thought out shot though, it totallly enhances the ominous mood and puts the focus totally on Satin.
Beyond that perspective mistake, it's generally correct! I'd like to see you draw your backgrounds with the same care and level of polish as your people though. I feel like the linework in the setting bounces between sketchy and vague, and it's never as strong and as clean as your characters. Try to figure out the structure and details completely during your pencils, so that you can focus solely on the linework when you ink.
Your figures and anatomy are way stronger dude, like damn yo. But Cecilia's muscles on that last big shot don't look like they have form and mass. They look more like surfaces details. Don't think of muscles as the lines they create on the body, but as the 3 dimensional shapes they actually are. Think about the nature of the muscle, it's roundness and form, the skins stretching arroouuuund it, and what spots on the skeleton it connects to for movement.
Majikurakurokure -
Ahahahahaha, Cecilia's reaction shot at the end totes reminded me of OnePunch Man.
I actually think you were doing better with backgrounds until the last page! The first page was interesting, the area they're in has a unique identity and flavour, and it's mostly well drawn and solid. I think your backgrounds could use a little more illustrated texture though, especially so they fit in with your loud effects. You're effects are so detailed and textural, and then everything else is perfect and smooth. It's a little jarring. I'm also still not a fan of how you illustrate things in the distance. Just use a more delicate line instead of these indistinct, pixelated suggestions. You could also try colorizing your lines to emulate atmospheric perspective. Just draw your stuff in distance solidly then lock the transparency, and colour them in varying shades of gray to denote distance.
Also, it's definitely kinda nitpicky, but the middle of the fountain in the first panel is drawn in the wrong perspective. The horizon line is near the girls knees, so we should see every part of the fountain from underneath, but you drew the curves in the middle as though we're looking down on it.
Keep trying dude, you can totally find the love! Maybe try doing some pin-ups with your characters, and try to focus on the setting as an important part of the image? Like Veronica at her desk, or Satin organizing a whole bunch of sewing related stuff in her dorm room. You can make it fun, and you're totes a solid artist dude, you have the talent! Just look at those gorgeous cloth and fire effects!
Wuta! every comic you produce better art, its awesome. your expressions are reading better though your body language is still a bit stiff. The colours are a bit muddy too. The end of the story i thought was a bit rushed, I'm not sure satin would go down with just a bonk to the forehead, though Cecelia setting herself on fire to escape was totally awesome and gross, haha! I like your backgrounds in the first page though the city seems a bit lumped together and lacking streets, theres a nice variety of buildings. Anyhow, good show, you are coming along artistically and I think i'm startng to get a better sense of cecelia!
Kuraaa once again your inks SLAY me as did the henshin gag which of course i just ADORE (THE ZOMBIE BUTLERS THREW CONFETTI WHEN SHE FINISHED CHANGING OMG I LOVE IT). I don't think your backgrounds are lazy, I could tell they were at a mall, i mean i guess there were some places where you could have added one but you wouldn't want the panel to get too cluttered against the effects happening since it was a battle-heavy comic. I don't think i understand why Cecelia was all in rage mode and fighting them, but I know you were trying to fit the whole thing in 3 pages and probably didn't find the time for that... I'm not sure Cecelia is an evil-doer though and might have corrected lily? well the fight was sure awesome though so I won't complain haha. another good comic!
yay everyone!!
Wuta: This is the kind of quality I'd like to see from you from now on. Any battles after this should be up to par or better than this one. Good Job.
Kura: You are a lazy jackass and you need to stop ignoring your backgrounds no matter how much you hate them.
Wu-at-at: You've got a decent story, although I initially questioned why vanity would send out one of her students for retrieval, even if it is satin. Accepting that fact, the emotions on their faces were pretty well done, but the body language didn't feel like she was trying all that hard to escape. Visually showing desperation is a difficult thing to do and having front faced or profile action shots made it lose force. Also, if you're going to draw a comic where it only has one or two colors in it for effects, you have to find a way to have the color show up with enough frequency that it doesn't feel too out of place. The background might need a little color attention too. Though color certainly isn't my strong suit so that might not be the best advice.
As for pacing, you have a number of points where it jumps, instead of flows, between panels. The reading composition of the whole page matters when it comes to both the action and the text. Cecilia's self immolation was given more of a build up than it actually occurred. Having even one more panel to show the burns taking place could have added time and power to the scene. or perhaps a panel of smoke clearing. As well as the brick being thrown. It seemed like you couldn't come up with anything else that could have happened in the time given (which is possible with only two weeks) But even using the brick it had to have mention that she saw it and grabbed for it prior to throwing it. You did remember to at least draw it on panel prior to it being thrown, but a small cut in panel of her grasping the brick would have added that pacing, I think. As well as demonstrating more impact on the brick. Remember, it's not the punch that shows how much it hurt, it's the reaction. Show the brick bouncing off satins face as she is thrown off her feet, instead of the moment of contact. It might have had more OOmph. Also, it's nice that you worked so hard on the anatomy when it became visible, but gotta still keep an eye on the anatomy when the muscles are covered up with skin. hehe.
Majikura: It certainly works fine on the adorable face at the end, but it seems a lot of the faces you draw are very wide eyed. The hands also seem a little large, though I do know how difficult those are to draw small and still demonstrate it's 5 fingered. The effects you've got on the pages look brilliant, I've got nothing much to say that might help there. (heck, you helped me get them right in my comic) It works really well in the cases you used it, Cecilia's big swing on page 2 and the visual contrast on page 3 with the fabric shark maw. It just seems like you ended up using effects as backgrounds too much.
I'd recommend trying to draw people without using as many outlines, or shading. So you can practice the planes of the face and the shapes involved with the anatomy to then draw those epic actiony lines on. Or even more so, find some interesting landscapes or background style pieces, and see if you can use those beautiful effects to augment them and make a whole scene out of it.
Also, page 3 is bigger than the other two pages, not sure if that was intentional. Works fine while reading, just figured i'd point it out.
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