Amazingdavid -
I don't really like the digital boxes, I think they stick out too much . It's fine, but I would've rather seen you just do them in trad.
Besides that, I have like nothing to criticize beyond what other people said. I've always loved the way you illustrate motion, and your framing in this comic is really great. That shot with the bottles in the foreground is like my favorite. And Ii really like how your sound effects almost seem to be getting pushed by the impact of the stuff that happens to make them. It's a really great touch and I'm totally gonna steal it.
Kent -
If this is your comic for the "Make your opponent the main character" challenge, I don't really think you pulled it off. While the story is sort-of kind-of told from Harahi's point of view, it's not really about her at all. We're just being updated about the stuff Jane Blonde is doing by someone not Jane Blonde. I think that's also what makes the comic feel sort of abrupt. Since most of the comic is dedicated to setting up the mayor stuff, The resolution of the initiation storyline feels inconsequential. I still really enjoyed the story and your writing, I just think Jane Blonde was still totally the main character. Harahi was just like her town crier.
You're panel layout and stuff was great dude, and I really liked alot of the dialogue. "Go ahead, Knock yourself up" was such a great line, probably my favorite.
AMAZINGDAVID- You know for all the talk about your brushes looking 'dry' n your pages, I kind of dug it. It gave your scenes a sense of motion and looseness that I personally enjoyed. Not to mention it added to the dry dusty western theme you had going. I wont deny there were some gnarly parts- namely the bottom panel of page 2 where it gets a little too rough, but I'm going to chalk that up to the fact you may of been running out of time?
Its obvious you had fun with your paneling and your compositions were really fun to pore over. Like the titled entrance into the saloon, the view of the fighters from behind the bottles of the bar, or the fish eye distortion in the gunfight standoff. It was almost like reading storyboards more than a comic- and that's actually pretty groovy. you got those cinematic shots down pat!
This unfortunately is another in a series of silent comics that have been submitted to void that don't really meet the mark. This tale was really wanting for some dialogue- especially in the inexplicable encounter in the bar that suddenly saw the ladies step out to fight. Why were they fighting? what did Harahi say? Funnily enough the SFX was your only dialogue and it was hilarious. I love the unconventional take on a sword hitting a bullet. 'impossible!' 'badass!'- totally laughed. XD Just a shame a great build up jumped the shark- or sharknado.
MISTER KENT- Amped, positively AMPED for some city shaking events and Jane Blonde running for mayor is definitely cool. I love that this was all done via your opponents point of view and told to us readers with some heavy bias. I always doff my hat to void stories that stir the pot and get the rest of us keen to keep the story thread going in our own battles.
Your coloring did leave me wanting. If you were going to roll with grays, it would've rocked to see some more contrasting blacks to go with your nice chunky inks. You have a very distinct impactful style of inking that I think would benefit from some shading to diffuse it. That said, the way you interpreted your opponents character was totally boss. the high school backdrop, the schoolyard girly gang- all the way down to the garish slut necklace and spiked boots. Talk about cool! I got a kick out of how she talked because it wasn't your typical foul mouthed brat. You managed to give her a style to it that was pretty funny to read and that's a big deal as I'm not usually a fan of the usual sass mouthing much of the fighters on VOID do.
I think my only complaint is that I wish we saw more of Agent Blondes run as mayor, but that's just me wanting more of the ol' Kent magic. Keep these comics coming man- you really got something cooking here!
DAVID- I love how you framed your shots. So pretty. So dynamic. I'm so jealous xD I like the wistfully messy almost watercolor look to your lines, although I twitched every time I hit a panel where the lines were broken and didn't touch the bordering. Because it made it look like each panel was drawn individually and then copypasta into the panel. So that was kinda weird. And I agree with Skulls- the story was confusing. And the sharknado was awesome.
KENT- I like your inks. I like the big Jane Blond head with the question mark in it, that's just cool. I love the design of the "Who the fuck is Jane Blonde?" character, and the buttsexing bunnies were adorable. On the downside, too much grey. OMG, grey. I think it may have been better if it was left at just white with the inks, because the grey makes everything look blended and harder to see. And it may have just been me, but the story seemed like it wasn't finished? I got to the end and was like dude no, where is more *_*
Thanks Pocky! I do indeed ink by hand, and I am going to try that brush technique on an upcoming comic! :)
DAVID: Thanks for the great match-up! I really like your fluid ink lines, very painterly and delicate. All the little touches were nice--the gun, Jane's outfit which I'm totally using for her someday, and the nice action scenes.And hey--we both did close-ups of Harahi's boots complete with sound FX! Great minds think alike!
Both renditions of Haraki Jenkins was a bit complicated for me to comprehend what kind of character she was for both comics. One portrayed her as the rebel highschool, while the other seemed more like a curious girl looking for a battle (hope i'm not wrong on that, but that was my impression)
AmazingDavid: I LOVE the sound effects! Super cartoony and creative :D Your inking is very whimsy and cute, and as a tip, if you want to make things more 'serious' in effect, dip a toothbrush in a little bit of black ink and make some black ink specs on the paper. For this comic, it would make a nice sand effect to the environment. You can also use it with the FW acrylic white ink, does magic to simple work.
MisterKent: Omg f*ckin bunnies, so adorable! I guess Void High is going to be a running plot in your comics now ever since Raygun. I also have a feeling you were trying to do the monthly challenge which was to create a story about your opponent's character being the main topic in the comic. Not sure if you're up to it, but since you do your inks by hand (I think?), maybe try shading it by hand. Dip a paintbrush in some water and a few drops of black ink and work it out. Watercolor brush pens work really well, and instead of dipping it in water you put the ink-water in the resovoir and it's magic! Check it out here: http://www.jetpens.com/Pentel-Aquash-Waterbrush-Pen-Medium/pd/1774
AD: I totally dig what you had going on here art wise. The brush work you had, though dry-looking, was pretty cool to see, and the western cowboy approach got me excited. Though with that said, I sort of felt disappointed at the overall comic. I have a feeling this was MEANT to have dialogue because storywise, I was...confused on the pacing, I guess is the best word for it. I could be wrong and this was really meant to be a silent comic, but I still hadn't a clue as to what was going on between Jane and Harahi prior to the gun fight...and after it as well.
I really hope to see more Harahi comics, she's totally one of my favorites in the site. Overall this to me feels more of a set back to your usual awesome comics. Keep going!
Kent: A far different approach, and still exciting, you're really stirring something up! Interesting way of showing Jane running for mayor from the POV of Harahi. If there's two things I'd say about your comic artwise is 1. I wouldn't recommend using a filter for bricks like you did in pages 2 and 3, since it seems so off and distracting on your awesome linework, and 2. try to experiment more with your grayscales. Monday pretty much beat me to what I was gonna say.
other than that, good comic! Page 3 of Harahi's my fave!
Kent:
Depicting your opponnent as the main character seems to be the only way you'd be able to get away with having the "other side [ie yourself]" only appear in proxy and never interact with the opponnent. While this is normally damning, I realized :
That your opponnent was the main character.
Which oddly makes this okay, despite being a one sided entry. And while the plot was," A Bunch of Girls Talking" the underlying story was," Jane Blonde is Running for Mayor"
The use of grays in page 6 was appropriate, however those grays never left after that. While it was unnoticeable because they were in a dark alley the presence of highlight whites would have called attention to the intentionality of the gray style and improved the the black and white balance considerably.
The characterization and depiction of Harahi Jenkins is rather lively and particular, mapping out her cultural identities through dialogue and wardrobing. The call out to gang warz creates a sense a relevance to the events being depicted, domestic as they seem.
David: It looks pretty rushed and it shows. The decision to brush the frames quickly led to a massive lack of black and white balance. And the lack of time likely attributed to the Sharknado ending.
However the comic is not incomplete as it sports an arsenal of pages in the teens. And a plot.
The inherent dynamism of poses done in this way shows but lack the weight needed to be anything more than a sketch. The lack of dialogue also leaves certain scenes to be void of context, despite visual cues telling me that:
-This is a Period Piece
-Harahi Jenkins is a chinese stereotype
-Sharknado
-You underestimated Kent
More context, more inks, and more time would have seen this through to a stronger piece
OOO. GAME CHANGER. We haven't had a mayor in a while. LOOKS LIKE 2014 IS ELECTION YEAR.
David: I kind of feel like there was supposed to be some dialogue in yours, as the whole scene at the bar is kind of confusing. Actually, the action is a little confusing. I get that it's supposed to be jokey (Sharknado ref), but other than the bullents vs sword scene, it wasn't that exciting. I do like the strong gesture drawing. Over all, it seems like this was done last minute.
K E N T: As always, you are killin' it with the dialogue. lots of little jokes and humor, I dig it. I do wish I could see this in color, though. I love the plot twist of Jane running for Mayor. Hopefully OTHER VOIDERS WILL STEP UP, I ain't gonna bet on no one-horse race. I really wanted there to be more to this comic, but that's what I always think when I get to the end on your comics. MORE BACKGROUNDS! At least some bricks! Some hatching, maybe!
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