Majikura -
I love puzzle fights, but I feel like you just don't have the time to pull one off in these matches. By the time we actually get to the fight you've already eaten up a third of your comic, and you still need to build the tension of the fight, explore Pixel's power, get some sort of exchange going, then have the the ephiphany and the climax. I don't think you're pacing it badly, I just don't think this kind of fight works in such a short comic. It's like trying to shove a whole Jojo fight into 9 pages and still have it be super interesting.
I'm not super into the way you draw stuff far away from the viewer. Instead of simplifying the information on figures, you kinda draw them weaker and more insubstantial. Sometimes it looks like you erase through lines of faraway stuff too?
The way you draw pixel princess is great, the pixel embroidery is hooottt. It's always cool to see a more realistic artist translate a cartoony character into their own stuff, and her pixel magic/magic poses all look awweessooooooome.
Hobbittastic -
I actually reeeaaallly like you're colours, they're bright and cheerful, but I think you can get a little too literal sometimes. Like you went "Stone is grey, so here's some gray" Those grays were all kinda boring, and did nothing to enhance your colour palette. Don't be afraid to push hue in one direction or another for unities sake. Especially neutral's like white and gray, since they're almost always a really subtle tone in real life too.
The effect you use for pixel magic looks really cool, but it's also doesn't really fit into your comic, just because it's like the only thing with subtle variations in tone and hue.
Like all of Pixel Princess's facial expression are so great in this comic. Like no matter what's going you've got some unique, charming face to show us, it's amazing. You make it look so easy :C
I gotta say after doing a read-along the events in both comics were fun and well paced. I thoroughly had fun going through both battles.
KURA- I think I have to echo everyone else in saying I really dig the world you're creating springing off the whole prettiest princess tourney. It doesn't hut that you have a real knack for making young girls who can kick your ass really adorable. That said, you totally know your strength is the action scenes because I feel that's where you put your most effort in your pages. I love the 16bits attack and how you don't skimp on the 'cool' factor for your opponent. I do notice your line widths do get a little wonky when things are in the extreme foreground. I dunno if you're working with a small pixel brush and going over your lines over and over to make them thick ,but I feel it only succeeds in making your foreground elements muddy.
HOBBITTASTIC- The moment I opened to page one I smiled. The colors are so 8-bit inspired! Bright and ridiculously primary, haha! Pixel Princess expressions totally had me chuckling and her unconventional un-princessy ways threw me for a pleasant loop. Giving flirty glances to random lady passer-by? She's such a charmer! Not to mention the 'oh crap' expressions when she see's bullet princess dispatched all of the tournament princesses. I was a bit confused over her motivation to see Bullet princess in the first place though. She hears a gunshot and wants to head towards it? Still, I think I'll give you my higher vote because I had such a laugh with your comic. Great stuff!
Kura: great art as always, I love the world building for bullet princess and all the terms and attack moves you come up with, but I did think it was weird how she got those sexxxy hips all of a sudden during bulletskrieg.
Hobbitastic I love the colors in your comic but I feel like the first half was too slow and the second half was too quick... Bullet princess doesn't show up until page seven in your comic, and while the stuff before was funny it may have helped if the characters interacted more. I thought you may have played into bullet princess's video-gamestyle universe a bit more too but it's okay that you didn't. In your comic against onion princess you used alternate/brighter colors on certain panels for emphasis but in this one it happens quite often. Like, I don't think you needed mo vibrant colors for the guard saying 'no entry.' Still, this comic was really good for your second one on void, I hope after MotD you make a new character and keep battling!
Kura: As always you get an A from me on the art department, and William_Duel went into further detail than I could on that side. But this time, I actually did not enjoy the story. I know that anime/manga is basically your thing, but I feel like this was way too saturday morning anime even for the TV show that Bullet Princess is, and actually I don't think the fight strategy is rocksolid (Pixel Princess' 16 bites attack seems to hit in a cone, that's a range with diagonals in it). The exploration of the game element of the universe was cool though. But other than that, there wasn't anything in the dialogue or story progression that was fairly interesting for me in this comic. I'm sure the next one will be up to your usual higher standard though, so keep up the good work.
Hobbit: I like the energy and especially love the expressions of the characters here. What's lacking is love for the backgrounds, and maybe watching the colors, as William_Duel pointed out. I think it would have been good to see the dead princesses in the hallway to cement the situation Pixel was in because they're kinda hard to see and I had to assume more from Bullet's murderous eye that she was a princess murderer. The pixelated special effects look amazing. It looks like you had trouble with Bullet Princess' anatomy the first panels you drew her, I would say to make sure you practice the character in sketches before taking them to comics because readers will notice how the character seems to evolve page by page.
Keep it up folks~
Majikura my crits from your last comic still carry over but I feel that this time you were so focused on details that quality tends to drop in places. I do like how you continue to build out the Bullet Princess' world and this helped add a lot more to her story and personality. Pixel Princess' use of minecraft swords was a nice visual joke and you tend to be good at that sort of thing. One thing I don't understand is why in some panels you have speedlines that aren't following the focal point as I think it'd be more dynamic that way. One final thing I'd like to point out is the inconsistent body types as the comic progresses. It took me a few views to figure it out but i was bothered by the Bulletskrieg panel and its because she's suddenly way different there than in the rest of the comic. The panel is cool and dynamic but she's suddenly voluptuous. The rest of the comic she doesn't have those visible curves. I'm not sure if it's a magical side effect and there's nothing to indicate such.
Hobbitastic I'm glad to see you using your princess in this event but the story was a little disappointing. This isn't much more than a meet and greet, and we don't see anything new. I get that it's a dead character so you might not want to develop her but it is what it is. The first half of the comic just reiterates what we already know and have seen. Think about more economical storytelling to help you cut down page count. I did really enjoy seeing Bullet Princess in your style though and that it was very cool. Your expressions are very interesting and animated so kudos. I'd also think about desaturating some of these bright colors (remember that colors show up differently on different monitors). Also backgrounds, they need love that only you can give them.
Just uploaded my pages! It was a lot of fun and a good exercise. I feel like I keep improving every challenge I participate in and everyone is always super helpful in the comments. Hope you guys enjoy and good luck Majikura!!
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