Ceallach -
Ahhhh, I feel like a big jerk because I actually really like the early monochrome pages, and disliked the colour you started using page 7 and on. I think it's the perfect way to make your art cleaner and easier to read, while informing the viewer about the mood/lighting situation without taking away from your incredible line work and texture. When you just used one solid tone for the entire character, I think it distracted from your lines a little, and dulled the mood.
I think you're comic gets a little talking heads-y, there are a few spots where you repeat a similar shot for many panels.
I love how your character is actually a multitude of guys. It really lets you skip around and tell so many different kinds of stories. I think I would've liked Raleigh's guilt to have shown up in some way or form before the very end there. You play around with like a physical echo of the curse early, but I would've liked some visual sense that Raleigh knew what the pain was. Then again, now that I think about it, maybe he did know and that's why he's all "Whatever, I'll just deal with the pain", sort of like a self-flagellation thing. I do think you missed out on tying Wizzies whole explosion backstory thing into your comic, since that would've been a really great fit/parallel.
I really love how you do comics dude; the heavy textures, the loose line work, the characters. I default to just two characters so often, but your work shows me how great the interplay between numerous well-written people can be. And it's so down to earth, it's amazing how you can take such a fantastic setting as Void city, and use magical characters like Raleigh and Wizzie, and make them so real and personal.
Hats -
Awww, it sucks you couldn't finish dude! I was looking forward to this like crazy. That Spirit illustration was so cool, and I totally thought it was from this comic.
I really like the aesthetic you're going for with broken Void on page 4. Reminds me of some poor city in like the 70's-80's. The way you draw The Shuck is super cool too.
Bdubs, have you ever thought of doing hand-lettering? Your handwritting is supafresh, I think you could make it work like awesome.
The only visual thing I feel comfortable critiquing is that Raleigh doesn't really look 40. He actually looks pretty youthful. You should get in some practice drawing people of varying ages and body types, just to add some more variety to your worlds and expand what you're capable of drawing in your regular confident manner.
Ceallach: slightest of nitpicks, but would you mind scalin' d'wn on t'whole writin' like this, 'is gettin' a tad annoyin' b'the en' of t'story; It works for the Household but when Wiz starts doing it aswell it grinds my gears somewhat.. just my 2 cents
Hats: Love the environments, cred for having the patience to draw every single block and plank in the piles of garbage - shame about the end, but ah well
other than that, nothing really to pick on, strong effort from both of you!
what with those full-page previews for the page 6 thumbs? I kinda like it O:
Cealliach: Nice job! I'm not a fan of the all-one-color of the first big of pages, so I'm glad you nixed that. There's alot of love in your characters, but I think the way you drew Wizzie could have had a little more time in R&D to fully map her into your style. As it is now, her face comes off kind of awkward sometimes.
Hats: Hats! I like the dim dull colors since it's night, but, there shoulda been some lights and shadows from lights in more places than there are, like the last panel in page 4 from the moon, and the last panel in page 7 from Wizzie's magic. I love your garbage piles, I wish I could do that. It's a shame you couldn't finish :(
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