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Jessie Valley vs Veronica Nightingale

3 Weeks + 1 Week
Regular Match

Comics

Jessie Valley vs Veronica Nightingale
By Energy
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Jessie Valley
Final Score: 3.57
Jessie Valley vs Veronica Nightingale
By Majikura
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Veronica Nightingale
trophy WINNER
Final Score: 6.99

Comments (12)

Pennydox's avatar
Pennydox
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Energy: I think I have repeated myself a couple times about a lot of things you should work on. Figure out your drawings with a pencil first now. Even if you don't have a scanner or whatever, start on it with pencil first. Or even try making your battle a non-fight battle and something else. Don't give up though. Majikura: Acutally, I kind of disagree with Puzzlething saying your background is weaker. Actually, I think your foreground is what's pulling off from the background. The fact that the main characters have such thick outlines and very little attention to details in clothing make it seem like the background doesn't matter much. If you thinned out the lines slightly to compare less on background; instead of concentrating so many details on everything but the main characters, kick it down a notch so certain objects in the background seem bolder. I am also noticing a trend in the female characters you draw. They all seem to have incredibly similar physique drawn the same way. Try to practice drawing people who don't have a perfect body and have different breast shapes and size. Also, there is a tendon on your thigh that pops up when you flex your legs apart in certain directions. If I studied anatomy further, I could tell you what the hell it was called (pectineus?), so you're just gonna have to feel for it on your own body. Indicating that tendon/muscle on a figure really make a huge difference in showing legs that look less like tubes under your body. And although tight fitting is nice, figure out how clothes wrinkle on women's clothes that cover their chest.

Puzzlething's avatar
Puzzlething
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Energy - I want to second everything Jetster said like crazy. Seriously do that, work on that. It feels like you want to skip ahead to the "Cool dudes doing cool stuff" part of drawing, but you have to put in the long hours of just grinding out the basics first. Forget about coloring and polishing stuff, just draw as much as you possibly can. Great job getting a complete comic/story submitted in time too. I hope that doesn't sound patronizing or sarcastic, because it really is an accomplishment that anyone would and should feel proud of. Majikura - I think your backgrounds are way weaker and indistinct than you're capable of. Just seeing how much they contrast with how strong, confident, and bold your figures are is so strange. In a lot of spots you don't draw up to the outlines of stuff in the foreground and it really messes up the sense of depth in the setting. Harping on all this might be silly though, because I know from the podcasts that you're super busy with convention stuff right now, so it was probably just real life messing you up. Especially because I think you made a lot of amazing progress with backgrounds in your last comic. The action is some of the poses is really nice, like especially Tiffany Dropkick jumping up for the shot on page 4. The curvilinear perspective on page 5 was a nice touch, it's wonderful way to draw the eye to Veronica. It's great work dude, and I don't know how you can beat yourself up when you're like the 4 highest ranking artist on the site hahaha.

Jetty Jay's avatar
Jetty Jay
All-Rounder
11 years ago
En: In addition to looking at photo references, try some construction techniques similar to what Andrew Loomis teaches (you can see a break down for one of his techniques here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1EPNYWeEf1U). Thinking about construction as you try to study and draw from anatomy references will really strengthen your ability to draw more difficult poses when you can't find or make an appropriate reference. As Kent said, really take the time to make things right. I think your biggest problem at the moment is that you're looking at figures as if they are 2D, and you need to think more in terms of 3D shapes like spheres and cylinders. While you are still strengthening your art ability, it might be worthwhile putting some focus onto storytelling. Lately it's just been 'two people fight' which is fine, but it would be great to see you push yourself to perhaps explore Jessie's and your opponent's character - even if it's just giving them a reason to fight (eg. Why is Veronica there?). Some of those stories might not call for cool poses, but that could be good for you too to work with something more basic. Keep improving dude! Kura: Hahahahaha oh maaaaan. I still think it needs a jeep. I love how you interpreted Jessie's voice too - I imagined it as if she was just speaking in this monotone. I don't know if that was what you intended but I loved it. Really fun poses and interaction overall. I agree with Shen that it ended really abruptly. If you planned for more pages and just had to cut off, I think you would have been better off cutting the dialogue from the last panel and just letting Jessie and Neriede's silence over Tiffany's laughter. It would have felt more like an ending because that punchline was so strong, you didn't need to add more dialogue to it. I think you overstretched Veronica's torso on page 5 too both in the second panel and more noticeably in the final panel (that perspective is tough though and you handled it pretty well besides that), so keep an eye on that I guess. Otherwise you know I think you're a powerhouse, stop berating yourself and get to more of this haha.

Mister Kent's avatar
Mister Kent
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Energy - I think you have shown some improvement over time. Some things to focus on for next time would be anatomy and backgrounds. Your storytelling is pretty good, as is the pacing I think. I think you really could've done more in three weeks--but if you're only going to have a few pages, take your time with them, really REALLY take your time. Go over the poses, use anatomy references, and for the backgrounds use photo references until your comfortable with backgrounds. Don't even worry about colors and finishing touches until you've got a really solid black and white page as good as you can possibly make it. I look forward to seeing more!! Kura - "The Jessie VOLLEY". Did you seriously just make this a v-ball themed story so you could use "Jessie Volley" ??? Well it was worth it :D

Rose's avatar
Rose
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Energy: Good to see you back in the game for another round! You're definitely improving, man, and I'm so proud to see a finished comic from you! You've even got some shading in there! Your backgrounds need a lot of work, and your anatomy and posing is really stiff and awkward, but you're improving for sure. Watch out for the little white spaces around your linework. Be sure to color under your lines and use a high threshold on the bucket tool if you're using Photoshop or something like that that can handle flats. It also helps to merge your layers before resizing your image. Keep on drawing, man! Kura: I liked this comic. I know you were stressed out and busy, and I can see some of that in the rougher parts of this comic, but overall you kept a pretty consistent level of quality. It was a fun change of pace--nothing super intense, just a lighthearted comic with a short and easy punchline. I love the twist of Veronica being terrible at volleyball, which for some reason I would never have expected from her. And I actually really liked the different swimsuit designs you made for the characters. You somehow managed to bring out their personality even with a tiny amount of fabric, so that's cool. Now take a break and--ah, who am I kidding, you're just going to draw a bunch more anyways. I can't wait to see what's next! :)

Evil_Encounter's avatar
Evil_Encounter
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Haha Kura i didn't expected this :'D And i don't blame you for writing her name wrong XD Hope i will get back in the game sometime soon... And now i'm sittin here withous anything smart to say...

Animeshen's avatar
Animeshen
All-Rounder
11 years ago
all right! sexy babe beach party! why don't we have more of these? XD I liked the action in yours Kura and the portrayal of the characters, and of course I'm completely entertained by having this fight be a beach volleyball tournament! I just wish it hadn't ended so abruptly! oh my gosh now I want to get into a fight one day that just turns into a beauty pageant or something stupid like that XD energy you're getting a bit better at action scenes and I'm glad this one at least had all the dialogue! Good to see a finished fight from you. The first shot though, its supposed to be buildings yeah? cuz at first i thought it was like stripy socks or a sand worm or something, I think they need a little more perspective. The fights could maybe also use a few more impact lines and sound effects, the hits didn't quite feel powerful enough, there was a lot more you could have done with the empty space where Jessie hit the wall. and whose that guy she was defeating on the second page? anyhow you're story was a bit clearer and easier to follow this time than it was others so keep up the good work!

Jiisuri's avatar
Jiisuri
All-Rounder
11 years ago
Whoever did the thumbs for kura's comic, I see what you did thar.

Majikura's avatar
Majikura
All-Rounder
11 years ago
this plan totally backfired, and ended up giving me more stress than I expected. but it's done.