MAJIKURA- Really impressive and sharp work for only one week. The backgrounds look like they were given lots of love and despite the black and white I was never at a loss over what was happening in the fight scenes. The cameos for me really are my fav bit. I feel like you captured Tiffany's personality rather well despite the little we've seen of her. It was hilarious to see the interaction between fighters as well.
ITAMI- D'oh! I really wish you'd had more time to flesh out your side, but I did like that it was closer to completion this time around-at least it had a beginning middle and end! I even dug that Veronica and Itami's hate was more subdued in a girly catty way.
Kura: Not much that can be said as many people already covered what I wanted to say, but I enjoyed your piece and am looking forward to see the rest of this setup you've got with Lady Vanity and Tiffany! Guess me and Jetster will have to get some stuff rolling on our side as well. : D
Rikun: Disappointing that this even less finished than your previous entry. There's some good gestured poses in there, but the rest is severely lacking. Better time management's the key.
kura, good job for a week! I can tell this is rushed in places, but it remains fairly consistant. I concur with pocky about the sometimes hatched, sometimes solid thing.
rikun, compared to the last (unfinished) pages you submitted this looks like a major step backwards. I know it's a week battle, but it still looks very hastily done and sloppy, to be frank. the lines are all over the place. the "inks" look like sketches, because you've gone over the lines so many times.. and in some cases didn't even hide the sketch layer. the bgs are basically various blank cubes. there's some good poses and angles though, and I feel like this could have been so much more!
I dug both of these. Quick suggestions
Kura: Loved yours ridiculously. The action was very fluid. Just try and use sound effects. I used to think they weren't really necessary, but I've met people who get confused if there are no sound effects in comics. (Hell, I did when I was critiquing Sabu's comic) It's crazy. But that was all. It didn't affect my enjoyment of your comic.
Rikun: Yours was short and sweet. I wouldn't have any qualms with the comic if it just looked a tad more finished. Since it was only three pages, you should've focused on the art. Time management, you! (Smacks with paper fan)
Good job, guys!
omg rikkun, did you purposely use the word 'WANG' in that comic? XD
Anyhow.......
Kura: Always, amazing speedlines. I kinda feel the shading for the shadows are a bit inconsistent. Some are hatched, some is just a black shape, but neither is really showing the properties of a real shadow . On a shadow, the black area closest to the object is always the darkest, and then it fades out when it's further. So with a shadow, you can create a fading effect by doing two things: 1) when you do the shadow, start with a solid black shape, and then as your scritchy scratch your lines further away from the object, don't make the lines as thick/close (so it has a gradient effect). or 2) Instead of shading it the way you're doing now (from left to right), shade the lines in the opposite direction (up to down, from the object, to away from the object in one direction). When you do it this way though, you pretty much create the shape of the shadow the same way you're doing with your speedlines. Also, page two bottom panel, the table is missing in the background.
Rikkun: ZOOM OUT WHEN YOU ARE DOING THIS. Then....zoom in to add the extra stuff. Lines too thick. You're using a soft brush to draw hard lines. Is this photoshop? Unless you meant for the linework to purposefully be that soft, i'd say use a brush/pen tool on the computer that makes lines that aren't that fuzzy. If you want to shade it in the way you're doing now, whatever. But when you use that same brush you're using to stick on as the linework, it seems too painterly, and I don't think that was what you're aiming for. Lines are very jaggedy--when you're done drawing your lines, use an eraser tool to erase the major stray lines. If that black was on 'multiply' mode, and it's photoshop, I have one hand on the keyboard switching the black and white swatches (just press x). White doesn't show, so it's like an eraser, and so drawing and erasing stray lines are a ton faster and easier.
Kura: You had me at porn flicks. I was actually debating making a reference to that in my last comic, but I decided it would be out of character for her to have any current porn going on XD As usual, your art is beautiful, and your perspectives and poses are just getting better and better, I think. My only beef with your comic is how new characters kind of popped up out of nowhere, but even then, there's enough continuity with your past comics and just the feeling of your comics in general that it didn't catch me off guard too much. You certainly left us with a cliffhanger, though, so I'm excited for more!
Rikun: The biggest flaw with your comic was your speech bubbles. I had a hard time keeping track of who says what because there were no tails. If you're using Photoshop, it's easy enough to use the lasso tool to add a tail to a speech bubble, so I don't understand why you left that out. In general, it felt a little rushed, and there wasn't much to any of the characters as far as motivation goes. I do like the dynamic poses and angles you've got going on, and I think with more time you would have been fine; I understand that a week isn't easy to work with. I look forward to more from you, but make sure to make proper speech bubbles!
Maji: This was a very solid black and white comic and you crafted the battle scenes in a well planned way, not once was I lost and I enjoyed following the action throughout. I especially liked the last panel on page 3, as that is a very effecient use of space and time when dealing with something that can be as tedious as a fight. Your backgrounds were consistent enough and showed up in a good number of panels when Veronica and Itami weren't flying around the dojo, so good work there too. Like I'll say to Rikun, you only had a week so my critiques are with me keeping in mind you didn't have forever to do this comic. Sound effects can be very effective in enhancing the feel and immersion in a fight or just a comic in general, I'd suggest giving those a try next time, try incorporating them into the art itself rather than slapping huge words over the art. You might just surprise yourself! Also speed lines are pretty rad for any fight, hell I use 'em a ton too, but sometimes you can build tension or even a slow down of perception if you simply use negative space and body language to show a character leaping or something of that nature. It has the look of being almost more cinematic and "artsy" and just one or two panels without speedlines will give the reader's eyes time to rest and not feel like they are being rushed along from panel to panel at a breakneck pace (as much as that's what we like to make a battle feel like). Great comic for a weeks time! You really pulled it off well!
Rikun: I was around when you first started doing your comics and I can say you've made great strides since the beginning. Your files sizes are obviously readable and your dialogue is much more believable and readable (though the font probably doesn't need to be QUITE that large). I'm really glad to see you varying your angles so much and the humor even for three pages was a nice little laugh. You only had a week to do this battle but there are a few things you can still make progress for your next battle. Make sure that you clean up those tones if your going to use them. Obviously I can see your're working digital so it should be fairly easy to make sure those lines are filled in properly. While on the subject of lines I know you might be going for that "sketchy" look, I can't be sure, but at the moment the craftsmanship just makes them look rather messy and unfinished rather than some stylistic choice. Also I'm not how rushed you were but there are some panels where not only the background is very sparse but it bleeds over onto not just the background thugs but even your own character Itami, when their hands are just nubs or they have no facial faces whatsoever. Sometimes lack of background details is acceptable but even that's a stretch. When it moves to the characters is when the problem becomes less of a "slipped through the fingers" issue and seems to the reader more like a "rushed/laziness" problem (not saying you're lazy here, like i said you might have been pressed for time, and that happens). Overall you keep growing by leaps and bounds and you use each battle to carefully implement a new skill which shows patience. Keep it up!
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