Yaaay, congrats on your first win Pineapple Pocky!! :D :D
I totally dug your story and am happy to see that it appears to be a continuation of your intro pages. Here's hoping Florence settles in.
ROFLQU- I swear, Elvis has to be the nicest guy in VOID-taking in kids, giving out money. He's just too damn lovable. What is he doing in this city?? lol
I think I would have liked for these both to have been longer!
looks like everything's kinda been said already. yours was cute pocky! my biggest problem was your figures. rofl, yours looked mostly fine (adjustmentss) just you know, woulda liked the last page to tie it up!
[quote]ROFLQU - awesome as always. I was a little confused of how the 2nd page transitioned into the 3rd page. This Elvis seems to be the nicest guy ever. I guess its cause of his power.
(That's cause it's the wrong page!)
Thanks everyone and don't worry pocky you'll see it Tuesday. I'm gonna take the time to color my pages just to make it more worthwhile to upload.
will note this next time, ty. I will look through my reference image stash and see if I can be a little more creative next time ^_^''
Also, I will try using something other than a square panel. I have been staring at my comic for a while now and contemplating, and I think I have a few hypothesis Maji--I'll try them out next time (and if it still looks annoying tell me so I'll try another method). If I had more than a week to work, I might be able to squeeze color in....uh, I think.
Roflqu: I wanna see page three too! Can you show it on the da chat or something?
Pineapple: Pretty good read for what's essentially a two-page comic. I really enjoy that looming oddness that Florence projects. I think page 2 felt a little repetitive, panel-wise. Almost the entire page contained square panels with chest-high shots, and the text boxes for Elvis's internal narration seem oddly placed, reading from right to left. I think an establishing shot either for the environment or the characters would have given the reader some breathing room. Otherwise, good pacing and solid character writing.
Rofl: Excellent stuff all around. I really enjoy your characters' expressions and gestures. It is oftentimes really hard to make a character seem natural and comfortable when they're just lounging about, but you manage to portray that well. Just be sure to organize your files a little better so no more slipups happen. =P
pineapple: I'm not sure why, but those tones you are using are an eyesore. Maybe you overused them or maybe they aren't clean enough, I'm not too sure why. I probably would have enjoyed it more you colored the entire comic similar to how your first page was.
rofl: shame on you, I wanted to know what happened at the end. Regardless of that silly mistake, your stuff still inspires me to keep working on getting stronger lineart and forms.
when I made this I had one idea, and then I had another idea, and stuck them together. Story was supposed to be perspective of Elvis Bean--I think I should have made the internal narrative pop out more to Elvis B in the first page. Text is something I'm having a very hard time trying to figure out right now
Pocky - Like your style, its sketchy but it doesn't look imcomplete. I did have a problem knowing who was narrating at 1st. might just be me. Good stuff, keep it up.
ROFLQU - awesome as always. I was a little confused of how the 2nd page transitioned into the 3rd page. This Elvis seems to be the nicest guy ever. I guess its cause of his power.
ROFLQU: If you have photoshop, there's a quick simple way to whiten the whites and darken the blacks. Go to Adjustments>Levels. There's a tiny eyedropper tool picture on the far right side (the 'white' eyedropper); click that and then click on a midtone/white area on the picture (which is in this case, anywhere on your page that isn't black). What it will do is set that clicked area as the pure white area and 'up' the levels adjustment scale properly to that white (just try it out, it makes more sense). Takes about 6 seconds to do.
urg, triple post on accident. Sorry. Might as well note that when you use the black eyedropper tool (the one on the left side) on the levels adjustment it does the complete opposite--change the area you clicked as the purest black area and shifts level adjustments to that. And if you select the middle one, it will set the complete midtone of your entire picture.
ROFLQU: If you have photoshop, there's a quick simple way to whiten the whites and darken the blacks. Go to Adjustments>Levels. There's a tiny eyedropper tool picture on the far right side (the 'white' eyedropper); click that and then click on a midtone/white area on the picture (which is in this case, anywhere on your page that isn't black). What it will do is set that clicked area as the pure white area and 'up' the levels adjustment scale properly to that white (just try it out, it makes more sense). Takes about 6 seconds to do.
Making a font is a lot of work. But is a great option if you know how to do it. Hand drawn/using a font is mainly just about what kind of look you are going for, I suppose. Neither one is right or wrong.
okie dokies, justa. I need to start practicing actual younger looking faces than just a specific age range. Will continue working on that. Will work on fitting text inside the bubble properly--I'm still questioning on whether or not I should start hand lettering or find a font I like, or possibly making my own font.
roflqu: really REALLY loved the last three panels of page 2!
pocky: let your dialogue breathe. text shouldn't be right up on the edge of speech bubbles. also, your faces need work. the second, third, and forth panels on the second page all have pretty ganked features, whether it be thick necks, noses not placed properly, etc. working on how you construct faces should fix a lot of that. solid first batle.
rofl: clean up your pages, bra.
Neat, this battle's up!
Pocky, I like the use of tone in your work--it's contrasting really well with your lines, and I think it works much better then hatching because it lets parts of your comic breathe a little more. There are some parts where I think the perspective is a bit wonky--the cover page especially, where the floor looks tilted at an odd angle, so that it doesn't look as if Florence is really standing on the floor. Storytellingwise it's short and sweet.
Rofl, I can tell you had to rush this one, but I do like the back-and-forth conversation you have going between Florence and Elvis. Page three, however, seems to be your unfinished, unsized page from Elvis VS Eli. Upload mishap?
Both were nice little reads, though!
GOD DAMN IT ROFLQU:
The train keeps on rolling.
ALSO, GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FIRST BATTLE!
Thanks! These few months are probably just going to be me experimenting different drawing techniques, hope that's okay.
Comments (19)