Ninemafia, I dig what you're doing & really think you just need more mileage under your belt to take it further. There were points of it just looking a little off & I think that's something you'll get a better handle on the more you do it. The thicker outlines sometimes looked a little weird because it looked a little like sharpie next to brush work, why not just use a thicker brush? And a nitpick, the stains you did on the note should follow the folds of the page rather than drop straight. a simple little warping would've achieved that. But keep it up.
Otakutaylor, i think you need to work on your perspective some. Take a look at that first page. The alley's horizon seems real low but things like the dumpster don't feel like they match up with that. Also, at the same time, the way the characters foreshorten sometimes is a little offputting, like your character's footing in that same panel. Same kind of goes for the low shots on the last page. The buildings go one way but your character doesn't quite match it. Observation & practice would help that.
Also that's a metricshitton of dialogue in a short amount of story. And it seemed like you were trying to cram it into as few balloons as you possibly could. Like the 'Ow quit it' on pg 3 could've been split from the 'stop struggling...' On the forums, there's a tutorial for making balloons, give it a look over, & don't be afraid of splitting things up & cherrypicking the wording to reduce novel length blocks.
Ninemafia: I LOVE YOUR INK WASHES and splatters too. There's so much character and sweetness to the style, from the cursive lettering to the seeping blacks of the dream sequence- great structure and compositions. Although you style is relatively simplistic it's very effective and your story was meaningfully well written. Your sense of continuity and development of Bhindi is coming along nicely.
Otakutaylor: Much improved anatomy and lines here, your grays also look great. That spewing of dialogue is frantic to the point of difficult to read, and though you have similar stories and resolutions I think your characterization of Tsumi as a gentle giant is perfect. Continue taking steps to differentiate your line widths and change up some tones and you'll have a a strong toolbox going.
ninemafia-the interaction between Tsumi and Bhindi was very sweet. I really liked the simple toning you had here, it worked well for your style. You may want to practice getting consistent washes, because while it worked for the most part, there were times the toning got very uneven.
Otakutaylor-I liked that you and your opponent had very similar stories, it was nice to see how Tsumi treats people that she's not fighting. I know it probably wasn't possible this time around, but your stuff would look quite a bit better with some shading on it. The toning you have works fine, it's just without any shading or different linewidths, you don't have much depth.
Aw, so sweet, both of you!
I love that you both decided to work off of your characters' feelings of being different and used it as a lovely bonding moment. I wish I'd known someone like Tsumi when I was little, I would have had a lot more self-confidence. Bhindi is a very believable as a mixed up/scared kid, she's awesome and adorable. :)
Really cute comics from both of you!
nine: Wow. Your traditional work is much stronger than your digital, and I really think you should stick with it. I think it looks great. Plus, your comic had a training montage! The only thing it was missing was inspirational music.
otakutaylor: Another good comic from you! Your knowledge of anatomy seems to be pretty decent - I would take some time to focus on faces if I were you, as I felt a few of them were a little off-putting. All in all, though, it's a nice little piece. Tsumi is an excellent role-model for young girls everywhere!
Tsumi's such a sweetie in both comics!
Nine, I like what you're doing with the inks. Keep doin' em, and tighten up on that brushwork. You bleed a bit here and there, and sometimes it works (like with the letter) but sometimes it doesn't.
Otakutaylor, I feel like this comic ended a bit abruptly, but it's still drawn fairly well and you're managing to keep the same level of output that your last comic had. Keep it up!
I don't think I can believe the am mount of coincidence between our two comics. As if no other better story could be told. Hehe.
Your comic is magnificent Ninemafia. It put a smile on my face and It'll be stuck there all day.
Sorry in advance for the quality of most of the pages. The top part of the scanner that presses down the paper was kinda wobbly, so they're not as clear as they could be, but I fixed it mostly with PS!
Whoa now cowboys, Otis vs Starker already holds dibs on arm wrestling conflict. Don't make me get an embargo on yo asses.
Or should I say
an embARMgo.
(I'm so sorry for that)
Anyways, draw it up somethin' fine, you two. I'll be waitin' to drop them critiques 'n' stuff.
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