Simple, to the point and more or less nice comics from the both of you! I do have a bit of a bias when it comes to clowns and general spookiness so I totally read Saphir's comic first. The colors made it pop and its the technical standout by a smidge. It does leave me with questions though. Why is Jules eating people? Is he a cannibal? What's he talking about with colors? In shot, being a new reader just waltzing into your comic asks more questions than it answers.
Andy's comic, while a little mussy at the edges had, I think a better story. I was pulled in by the characters personality (because she had one!), and I loved the flashback story laying the foundation for her disdain for clowns- VERY clever. I agree with the other commentors that it'd be swanky to expand more on her agoraphobia as its very cute and just more of HER (which runs the risk of more comic pages) since it feels in this comic you only gave the readers a taste. Then again maybe that was your aim. It sure leaves me wanting more. :)
Personally I think text it a big part of a comic & I wasn't really thrilled by the use of it in either of these. Balloons aren't that hard to make, & handwritten fonts compliment line art better than typefaces, serifs or sans.
Atomicfish, your line art had varying thicknesses & didn't feel consistent. Overall it felt a little sloppy at times. So it didn't help when the text just kind of hung over bits of it. And you hand lettered the laundromat's name but not the deep steam or sound effects? It all felt inconsistent, & like it needed to be planned out a bit better. Otherwise, the hatching felt rushed & sloppy & the action a bit stilted.
Video, the big thick font doesn't fit. It stands out in a bad way. Same with the polygonal balloons. They seem too sharp & don't fit your style. Then to hand right the laughing, it didn't seem creepy so much as just incomplete. you want to be chilling, keep scratching. That's when the letters should be big, thick, & gnarly. My advice is to find a more handwritten style font for your dialogue. And if you want to creep us out with a laugh, commit & make those letters creepy as hell.
Now, the first page. When I see that laid out like that, I assume we're supposed to read that alternating between them panel for panel? But there's no flow to it really, when they make inferences to things. If columns was your intention, you need to lead the eye better or distinguish the difference, because intuitively, readers want to go left to right.
Also, give your backgrounds more love.
AtomicFish- You continue to play the introverted agoraphobic angle up and it works due to the lucky opponents you face, this gives you the edge story wise. But I think your art isn't quite as tight this time around. Make stronger use of those grey tones and more effective use of hatching and line if you plan to use them, although I think it clashes with how simplistic and cartoony your style is otherwise.
Video- Very nice sense of continuity between battles and battlers. I dig all your cameos and your style seems more competent this time but some broken anatomy and lack of line weights hurts it some, though your colors give it a lot of life. You're crafting Jules into a real murderous menace to society and his motivations are helpful in giving him dimension he otherwise lacks.
Evil Eye
Thats a hell of review, You're completely right. I wasn't sure what too do with Otis and just sort of squeezed him in. And from your comment I can it was obvious. I'll put more thought into thing from now on. I really appreciate the input.
Atomicfish
Yeah! it really weird how similar our comics are, and that we weren't the only ones to have that happen. I don't know the pick the match ups, but whatever they're doing, they should keep at it.
Evil Eye - You're right, the last couple of lines didn't sit right with me and are very cheesy. I wish I could upload a new version of that page. I really want to replace it with "Hey Otis, how much to you think clown demons go for on eBay?"
Atomic > Tense stuff and nicely resolved, I'm sure it's a challenge to figure out how to get Andy to safety with battles like this. Also I'm with Andy, clowns are definitely freaky!
Video > Vicious! I thought for a second there that Andy was going to get through that encounter. Nicely done with the colouring/detail, and that first page with the dual stories was a cool touch!
This was a tough one for me. And, yet another Void Telepathy Moment. What the fuck is goin' on in Void lately.
You both had a charming take on each other's characters.
Video: I love that Saphir seems to get a thrill out of how frightened and kind a soul Andy has. A demon needs more proclivities and personality traits than just being an asshole and a demon to be interesting, and you're doing that. Keep doin' it. The way he thrives on her fear and innocence and generally seems to have certain kinds of souls he shows preference in pursuing is a good sign that you've got a character here and not an archetype. It also makes him adequately vile. I did think the resolution was a bit dissatisfying, though. Andy ends up in the exact same situation as she did in "vs Boxo" (held up literally and figuratively by the powerful malevolent monstrosity while Otis watches and tries to figure out what to do), then Otis is gonna do somethin', then he doesn't, and Saphir has won as a result I guess. Perhaps you were going for a subversion of the resolution to "vs Boxo", with Otis just bein' too darn scared of Saphir to do anything, but you didn't really develop that angle so it just felt a little convenient. Andy's Otis's only friend, after all, and likewise. Takes a lot to send a loyal dawg packin', mang. Nice art this round, by the way.
For the above reason, though, I had to give the edge to Fish. The pacing of the ending came up a little bit too quickly, I think. You've built up that Andy needs to stare fear in the face to conquer it, and I think we should be living that agonizing moment with her, the struggle of that moment where she stares down this demon clown thing of nightmares. Some moments need to be held on in a story and this was one of 'em. That aside, you seem to've put some more oomph to the art this time (room for improvement but I'm sure someone that actually knows their way around a pencil could find more valuable stuff to say here heh), and I once again very much enjoyed the overall story. The core of it holds together nicely. Sagely father figure advice coming to play is a good theme when executed well, and so you did. This one didn't end as strongly as round one, though. You'd already shown Andy staring fear in the face; by holding on that moment of doing so, as I suggested earlier, you could have emphasized the tie-in without having Andy spell it out at the end. Not every comic needs to end with "Dear Doctor, today I learned Lesson X." It worked well for the first one, but something else would have worked better this time, I think.
Good show from both sides.
Atomicfish-very nice! I really like how you draw characters, they're very fun and expressive. I wonder if your stuff would work better if you dropped some of the hatching on the characters. At the moment it's not really helping and feels random. Your style may work better with simple cel shading, due to its cartoony nature. (and it might save you some time!)
Video320-Your stuff is coming along nicely, I like how sinister your character is. You should try and do some perspective exercises to brush up on your perspective, because at the moment it's off, especially in scenes where there was the sidewalk going around the corner.
Nice strong story work Atomic, very cute work. Creative win strategy. Poor pooch. :/
Video, I am absolutely astonished by all you guys who can pump out these full colour pieces in a single week. Dang! Nice work there. I might work on your word bubble placement and get a different font, because this one is very pixelated and hard on the eyes. @_@
Oh yikes. This looks like it could mentally send the girl back to square one as far as her phobias are concerned. Fear of men with pointy teeth? Only could have been worse had it been Mammon!
Going to be a fascinating match.
I also laughed. I was actually just coming here to note how funny it is that the poor agoraphobe is now going to have to face down some despicable demon creature.
This one will be fun for the reader, not so much for Andy.
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