These were both pretty good.
Julienya, yours started off strong & then sort of started to get a bit rushed. It really worked sometimes but looked sparse others. Ultimately, it's still a nice showing considering the deadline. And while I usually prefer when artists hand letter, there were times were it was getting a little hard to read. Clarity's important. Otherwise, nice work.
Kinuchio, same deal with the kind of slide. But I like the approach, keeping it sharp, yet simple for more story. I don't have the discipline for that. I don't get how wearing a dress means it's okay to hit ladies though. Unless he also got snipped in those 15 minutes.
Kinuchio: Damn, man. There is little about this comic that I don't like. You're making me a believer in the potential of the classic "they fight cuz it's a fighting tournament deal with it" premise, and I am a hearty skeptic indeed. There are a lot of strong jokes in this one. You take the cliche of "don't hit girls" and turn it on its ear nicely, into "don't hit girls because it won't work", and something about the minor insanity of that was a real hoot. Jimmy's priorities are out of whack in the most endearing of ways. I love that not being physically capable of hitting a girl (rather than not wanting to) is the concern here, and I love that he has a near death experience, meets his mom (maybe?) and the most important, soulcrushing question he has is "why in the fuck is my name Jimmothy seriously". Jenny was funny, and the idea of using transexuality as a weapon to begin with is comically novel. Just lots good stuff here. A couple things to watch out for: I don't think you really engaged your opponent's character much in the sense of personality. Serious characters get reimagined to comical ones and vice versa all the time, but you need nuggets that make it feel right. I docked like no points though because the rendition was damned funny, but it's something to keep in your head when writing. Also, while you are doing a fine job of creating a real sense of an occupied world with Void, don't get TOO reliant on cameos. Having Jimmy be buddies with Morrow and thus Bhindi makes sense and fits in nicely. Catbutt-Mom-Ghost felt a little more "for the sake of it", though. I feel like that scene would have worked better with a regular ol' Mom-Ghost, both in the initially dramatic vibe, and then leading up to the punchline. The punchline was great because it's so absurd and silly, but the scene was already kind of silly because you threw in Catsuit as the Mom-Ghost. Nawmean? Anyway, a high scorin' comic across the board.
Julienya: I mentioned that I'm a skeptic of the tournament fight premise. I felt like Kinuchio "earned" it because he was writing a comedic story, and he used the tournament setting to deliver strongly with the yuk-yuks. Adversely, I didn't get as much of that feel from your comic. It's harder to do a good serious story with that premise, but when you should for it I gotta judge by par, ya know. I didn't feel like you did much with it seriously; there was a bit of a dilemma for Nyasuu, but it came and went in a moment, it didn't get developed as a conflict. You actually did better with Jimmy than with your own character, I think. There's another issue though; there's clashing atmosphere/tone here. The beginning seems to set up a bit of a lighthearted romp, and then you introduce a serious conflict partway through, and then it ends whimsically once again. I just walked away a bit unsure what kind of experience you were trying to relay with the comic, as you didn't spend much time developing a jokey comic, but also didn't craft and develop your conflicts either. I hope that makes sense. Anyway. You didn't rate badly, I just didn't feel like you accomplished as much with the premise as your opponent. Your art has a nice texture to it and your anatomy is pretty good.
You are both very good at drawing awesome explosions. My inner child was pleased.
This is by far my favourite match-up. I wish I could send you both into the next round! Great work from both of you, in every department, just pure entertainment. Neither of you deserve to lose this.
and no memes!
Thank you for the explanation tofubeast, I'll try to work on that in future comics. Thanks everyone else too, I really appreciate the positive feedback- but I also need criticism and I know it's not perfect.Thanks everyone for the feedback =D
@Julienya, to answer your question, I think that the sudden cuts from the outside stadium to what appears to be a castle corridor to the digital board in the bottom panel on the first page feels kind of sudden. Same with the guy telling Nyasuu and Jimmy where they're going to fight, and then suddenly Nyasuu and Jimmy are about to fight.
I think it's because you tend to use the same kind of angles in your panels--each character is drawn bust-up with the bottom half of them cut off, or is a zoomed-in closeup of their face viewed in semi-profile. I think your fast pacing would work with some more definition of the background--if you have nothing but close-up after close-up, it quickly gets confusing as to where they are or what's happening. Try experimenting with different angles and compositions in your panels!
Julie > Well done in this one! Good improvement on your first round, cool story and interactions between the characters and really liked the different expressions. Wasn't expecting sloppy make-out sessions as a way to end a fight!
Kinuchio > How on earth do you draw that many pages in a week?! Very cool man, I snort-laughed at work at that second last frame... dunno why but 'Jimmothy' got me in particular XD
Julienya-your coloring and pacing were better this time around, things were a lot more consistent this time. I would like to see you do more with your hatching and detail work because when you have it, it works nicely. So it would be nice to see you push it and do it more like on the characters on page 6. (thank you for including the Angie cameo!)
Kinuchio-this was a really fun read! I don't have any complaints storywise. The simpler shading works a lot better than what you had in your previous comic. I'm definitely interested in seeing what you can do with more time because it was obvious that you started to lose steam towards the end and your quality started to suffer.
Julinya, you've improved since last round! I enjoyed the fight as well as the slight romance, heh!
Kinuchio, oh my God, that was HILARIOUS, I don't even, oh man! XD
Everyone is a winner!
Tofubeast
Julie: Better artwork, a little less confusing then last time, although you still have some very abrupt transitions, and some things went way quicker then they should have taken. It's an improvement over last time, though!
Which places seemed like bad transitions? And especially what went too quick?
AHAHAH OH MAN.
Julie: Better artwork, a little less confusing then last time, although you still have some very abrupt transitions, and some things went way quicker then they should have taken. It's an improvement over last time, though!
Kinu: I can see where you got a bit sloppy, but I was laughing the whole time. WERQ JENNY WERRRQ. People at my work are looking at me funny because of you! XD
Oh gosh, you guys. YOU GUYS. I love you both, haha.
Jules: TOTALLY stepped up your game for this one. The artwork was far more consistent and the quality was better for sure. Your story was still kinda all over the place and some parts felt forced. But overall, still a good leap from your first battle. I liked it! :]
Kinuchio: I'd love to see you do a more detailed battle artwork-wise at some point, but I can blame time constraints on how simple your illustrations are. (not bad, just plain in many ways) Regardless of simplicity, your characters are still very expressive. The story was super cute and funny! I really enjoy your sense of humor. The end was fabulous. Keep it up, man!
Oh my word. Both of these were spectacular!
Kinuchio...Wow, I was in tears laughing. MOOM!!
Juliena--What an incredible transformation! This comic was outstanding!
Indeed we tempted it and it brought it. I'm happy about it because that means I get to draw Jimmy Boom a lot more XP I'm so glad you have such an in depth bio for Jimmy. There will be so much backstory mmmm. :<
Does Jimmothy hit girls? Will Nyasuu be able to get past Jimmy's outfit? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF VOID INVITATIONAL, JIMMY BOOM vs NYASUU!
This pairing is guaranteed laughs. Can't wait, good luck to both of you.
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