Thanks all of you for taking time to offer your great incite. I'm a rookie when it comes to comics longer than 3 or 4 panels, so trust me, I'll be taking all of this advice into the next comic and hopefully it will be better.
Also I really wanted to see Dongsauger's comic, I know if he had been able to post it, it would have wiped the floor with mine. I can't wait to see what you do later on though, I'm sure it will be pretty fantastic. :D
Dong: Was lookin' forward to what you planned to do with this creature. Kudos on the concept, anyway. That alone gave me a laugh.
Fish: There are some nice little nuances in this comic that some people might miss, but I caught them, for whatever that's worth. I am particularly amused by the fact that you're dealing with an agoraphobic's first steps outside. These tend to be uneventful, and yet here you have the agorophobe literally walking headlong into a violent extraterrestrial, which I imagine has to be somewhere around "zombie rapists" for an agoraphobic's list of worst case scenarios. I'm greatly amused by this. I also liked the little setup to how her plans to make peace with this violent alien were obviously not going to work and it wouldn't end up being some cutesy alien, and then you subverted by having exactly that happen as the conflict is resolved by a dog bite and a legwarmer. The cuteness of the end there even gave me a little sprinkle of that heartwarmin' feel, and I am a pretty jaded dude, particularly to an approach to storytelling that tends to come across as cloying to me.
I also liked the literal nature of Boxo's introduction. He's an alien with a boxing glove that came here to punch people right in the fuckin' face, and hell if that's not just what he does.
However I feel like all these little nuances could have developed and paid off more strongly. You need to build up irony if you intend for people to catch it. Hiemie's probably right in that the extra week could make all the difference. And he's on point for literally everything art-wise. The one thing of value I have to add to the quality score is that the page where Boxo's tentacles enshrine an entire page and dangle over and through panels was a brilliant idea to give life to a page, but not very well-executed. The fact that the next panel is a reverse shot with Andy looking up at him is disorienting and loses the impact you went for, because the flow of boxo's tentacles into that panel is continuous. You probably should have set the camera behind her there, even though I know you wanted to show her expression because "seriously it's an alien that just punched me in the FACE". That or nix the tentacle-wrapped page aspect, I guess, but I really dug that.
Two things combined to get you an extra point in entertainment; Boxo's bored reaction to Andy's half-hearted attempt to persuade him out of his violent ways, and the little cross-stich doll nestled next to the sleeping Otis. The latter in particular was a very thoughtful little detail.
Dongs: Mega Bummer about the uploads. Boxo's a cool cat- I wanna see it in action. 20s style boxing.
Atomicfish: Such a nice little self contained story with psychology, violence and cuddliness' for good measure. Really one of the most satisfying reads of our whole bunch here. Andy Heller is a terribly likable character and your hatch style usually works well at keeping things homey and warm. That knit style could use a bit of refinement but its rare, special even. Hone that. Your Boxo bully got his heartwarming conclusion and you've surely gotten you fair share of "Awwww's" out of your audience.
Dongsausage: Dammit! I was looking forward to your comic so badly. But accidents happen. Just please make a comic here. Your other work is so nice.
Atomfish: You literally got the funniest opponent you could have gotten for your comic. My problem is this looks really unfinished. Your character design sheet was unfinished. I would love to see you work on your backgrounds, as they're very flat in some panels, but most of all, I wanna see you ink your work. Your sketchy pencil crosshatching would look so much nicer with a stable cleaner ink look. I think if you give yourself a second week to work on a comic, you could do comics of this quality with a nicer crisper look. Your writing is even pretty good, so it's a start. You have some talent, it just seems like you're scared to commit to finishing a comic.
Sucks about the uploader, JB. Can't wait to see what you had.
Yours was really heart warming, Atomic. There's obvious anatomy flaws, but I actually don't mind it. They're stylistic enough for me to over-look em. Lookin forward to seein' more from ya.
Thanks for the clarification, Kevin.
Atomicfish, I really liked your comic, but the crosshatching may have been a little too much at times. I'd like to see what your work looks like as just clean lines at some point. Also, I really like the character of Andy Heller! She and Otis make a very cute team.
I'm sorry to disappoint guys :[ There was an issue with me uploading last night and I don't know what to do about it. Anyway props Atomicfish, loved the third panel on page 5 XD
ATTENTION!!
Hold off on voting on this comic, it seems that it should be a default on JBKtheDongsauger's side, but it's not showing up as such ... I don't think I can fix this ... so wait until Toast or Wei corrects this please?
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