Cult: I like your crowded action scenes more than your one on one scenes. It's clear you put alot of effort into the riot panels, and this kinda falls apart by the time Niles turns up. Also your perspective throws things off a bit, and I was confused as to some events by the end (like that stuff with the pill).
Overall, I liked it. Hope you can finish it soon!
SofaKing:
A fellow Deus Ex fan I see! I'd be careful about directly lifting names from franchises. I'm not sure what the point of your story is here, Niles is a bit crooked, but then he changes his mind after letting Killer_Byte kill a police officer. What exactly are Niles morals here?
Art wise I don't want to repeat what I said on the other duel, so I'll leave it.
thanks Hats (i love you lots lol) and Pyra for the critiques i actually ordered that book already to my nearest barnes and nobles this will be my last battle with KB for a while and im jus glad i put out something solid
cultmasterflex: I can see the improvement for sure. I don't have too much to say on this, since the story isn't finished, but it was easy to follow up until then, and I think you already know what visual stuff you need to improve on. Just follow Hats' advice and you're solid.
Sofaking: I can see you had even less time to work on this one than the last. Still, it's a noble effort of yours to attempt two one-week comics at once, so you shouldn't feel too bad about it. The paneling in this story is fine, but, halfway through I can't figure out what's going on...
Keep up the work, you two!
Cult: Loving the Wizzie Belle's Cameo! The authorities don't actually know Wizzie's name (hence why it's more difficult to track) and that's why she's referred to as the 'blonde girl', but that's not been properly developed yet so I have no problem with how you took the story, (I thought she said "no" though too - Lol!).
Your art is getting very detailed and more defined and there's great improvement with your black and white placement I know you've been working on! Be careful with it though because some panels (such as the VCPD riot) it was pretty confusing to look at, the "comic noire" works well as 'shadow' placement, so try to determine a light source and work your inks that way. There's a super ace book I borrowed from my college library called 'How to draw noire comics: The Art and Technique of visual story telling' by Shawn Martinbrough that teaches effective ways to do this style. My biggest concern for improvement are your captions, try using a ruler as they're a little wobbly and a bit hard on the eye (for me). Awesome job though! (and still, lol Wizzie you slut).
Sofa: Loved the first page! Have no problem with the story going head first into the action but then I totally had no idea what was going on! The visuals got really rushed and I couldn't follow the plot very well via the dialogue. Your ink style is nice but if I were you I'd try to be a bit tighter with them! I noticed that you had a bit of trouble getting this done with real life causing some complications! Personally, I'm not too keen on all of the screentones as they sort of blur all the panels together and that caused a bit more confusion for me!
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