Orion: I'm glad to see you doing another comic!
This was a real cute comic. I'm actually really glad this doesn't have text, because the visuals sell itself and tells the story. I know what you originally were going for, with all this planning and prim and questions about abilities regarding Leland, but in the end, your comic is successful by removing all of that and just telling a simple story. I hope you take something from that.
Your anatomy needs a little work. Your hands are kind of sausage fingered sometimes and it seems like they're just drawn quickly because you have to draw them, instead of drawing them correctly. Your faces from far away are simple, but zooming in closer, you suddenly have them become a bit more complex.
There also feels like a slight style change from page 1 to page 2. Work a bit on your anatomy, read up some Loomis pdfs, and practice drawing your own hands some more. I know you were a bit pressed for time, but some of the mistakes read more like that's how you draw as opposed to being rushed.
Next time you try doing pencils, maybe break out one of those paper blending sticks and give it a whirl. It might look really nice if you blend them together! You did a good job with this for such a short time during a hectic period of the year, congrats.
AmanitaZest: It's so good to see you battling again!
I really enjoyed your story here. It was a good use of your time and a very inventive 5 pages. The Alligear idea was pretty entertaining. You did real well with that and it didn't feel forced or anything to have Leland wandering the sewers.
I felt your pencils were a little heavy-handed and you probably should have gone more the route that Orion took with them, I think. Instead of treating them as just line art, you could have worked better if solid-shading had been utilized. Either in hair, sunglasses, background or whatever, a lot of negative space was worked on there and you could have probably filled that in more.
I was not a fan of the ultra white boxed computer text. Your hand writing is good, you should have just stuck with that. Page 2 had the worst example of this where you had the 'how-do-you-do's' and some of the speech bubbles got mixed up due to space issues.
This was a really good comic. I'm glad you took on this week-challenge during the first part of the Holidays. I really hope I'll see you battling again soon! Great job!
I agree with Le Fred but I think it would have been interesting to see just a little dialoguee in yours ,Orion, instead of a lot, if that makes sense . It would make it more about following the images. I also think the mechanical crocodiles were a really good idea Zest.
Thanks LeFred. It seems that I excel at wordless comics. :D lol.
I have always been of the opinion that the basic parts of any story can be told even without dialogue so I applied this one for that reason. I just wish I could have added the words it would have given such greater context and made the characters pop a little more.
I hope to see more action in the future! **Eyes Casino Reasoning.**
Mr. Orion, sad that your improv dialogue got lost in the nowhere, I would've liked to see it! But I guess you dont really need it here, story is perfectly understandable without it. Even kind of gives it a little charm :3
Mr. Zest, cute little story, those machanical crocos are an adorable odd idea. Though I was confused as to who was doing\saying what, the two of them often looking very similar.
nice to see some more action from the both of yous : D
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