Some of your coloring goes outside the lines (or fails to fill them), like on page 4 here and there. Also you may benefit from looking at some examples of monster hands and such because Luna's hand at the bottom of page 7 looks like it needs something, knuckles maybe, rounder fingers, I dunno exactly (some help I am). That's really all I came up with after scrutinizing your pages (aside from stylistic choices). You've really got a lot of skill and I think a lot of what's left is just fine tuning what you're already doing. I'm pretty sure if you keep at it your lines will smooth in all the right places and your art style will gradually "evolve" into perfection. Keep it up, dude. And keep in mind that you don't HAVE to accentuate female features if YOU don't see it as part of the character. EVERYONE had the "wtf, she's a woman?" reaction to Samus but her suit still doesn't have giant breasts and a vagina port on it. I just don't want to see you change her too much.
Haha yeah, I'll try and draw her more feminine then in future comics. Thanks guys for the comments!
Also If anyone wants to rip it apart to give me some critique too, go for it really. I'm down to hear it. I can't improve on it all within a week but I can try and improve on as much as I can during that time (and beyond, duhr, but I mean for the next comic :D).
Orange: great comic, cant wait to see how you develop the character. although i didn't know she was a girl at first 0_o;; maybe more accentuation on the feminine parts.
RoSoMo: like the character, he seems cool and page 2 was funny! would have rated quality better if all the ages were colored.
overall, i like both characters and your comics! we must fight one day!!!
Hey. I don't really have anything constructive to say other than Orange? I really really really like where you're going with Luna. This is by far a step up from your previous entries with Straps (although I miss her. Dumb pig.)
I hope I can battle Luna!
Robo - Nice entry but it was a bit lacking. It was definitely missing something. I require more!
Very nicely done you guys!
Orange, I have to say that you've really improved from you're earlier comics! This was a very enjoyable read and I absolutely love your character, the portrayal of your opponent's character, and the story you've got going. Keep up the good work!
Robo, I admire your art style, but your story seemed waaaay too simple. I didn't really find myself interested in it.
I don't want to seem like I'm pushing for more comments here, but if anyone else has any critiques they wanna throw my way I'm making a note of a lot of things people want me to try and improve on so I can start trying to tackle them with any of my future comics so I can make them more enjoyable to look at/read : ). So yeah, any crits anyone has throw them my way I'm really looking to continue to improve a lot. I'll be gone tomorrow afternoon-Sat/Sun so I won't be able to read any during then but I'd still appreciate them so when I get back I can have them for future reference :D
@Pyras - Dude thanks for the compliment! As for the poses yeah I can probably push em even more :)! Thanks!
@Robo - Dude I am so glad you like it! I am glad you think Oscar's character was spot on because I was worried about that and I am glad you liked the patches :). Thanks dude for the great battle!
Orange... I really liked your side of things. Oscar's character was spot on. One thing I especially liked (and will probably use in later battles) are the patches on his shirt where his arms would be. Great job, and good luck with the rest of the tourney!
That aside it was nice getting back into a battle... I think my nest one will be longer than a week though. I have to get my sea legs back so to speak.
Orange: I think you've figured out by now that your character's design is a crowd favorite in this tournament. Personally, the Aksys flavor makes me love it more. I can see Arena and Luna getting along..! The comic was fun and I really dig your linework. My critique would be to look into the dynamic-ness of your action poses; they're pretty high, but they could go even further.
Robo: I agree with Brian, it was getting really good, and then it ended :( it's a pity you couldn't finish. I would say you need more work on fast action as well.
More details on the backgrounds is noted! If I have the extra time at all to touch them up in any of my future battles I will make sure to do so! Thanks for the compliment, I really want to do better than I did in the SDT. No use doing these battles if I don't aim to improve on the one I did before.
Orange: Dude, you totally leveled up since the SDT, not bad, I think your backgrounds could use more details, but the content of the comic didn't call for it so I'm not going to complain too much about it. Let's see you push yourself further in the next round.
Robosock: Dammit man, I know I've seen better from ya!
Orange got my vote.
@Zest, haha thanks bro : ). I tried my hardest for what I could in a week! Yeah, that panel with the hand sort of bothers me, I should have gone back to fix it heh!
@ Le Fred, hopefully the rest will be entertaining :). I have a vague idea of where this all will lead to, but with the unpredictability of who I have for opponents it makes it hard to judge, so I'm making it up as I go along pretty much (save for the vague idea of where I want it to end :P). Thank you!
And thanks Robosockmonkey for the awesome battle, I dug your side of it and nice play on the whole emotions thing! Oscar is one badass character and I enjoyed fighting you!
Orange: Great work on this one! I really love how you did your environments and colors. There were a couple places missing some key details- in the panel where one of the Bros tries to punch Luna, the hand just looks sort of like a big blob.
Robo: I felt like your comic was just getting to the good part when it ended. I'm guessing this is just because of the deadline and you didn't have enough time to draw the rest of the comic. I also noticed you changed fonts once or twice, even on the same page. Consistency is super-important! Apart from that, your environments went missing a lot- even including one or two major objects can help the scene stay grounded so that the reader doesn't feel like the characters are out in space.
Hope all this helps you guys~ I'm looking forward to seeing more comics.
My stuff should be uploaded in a few hours or so :). I am pretty happy with what I got out in a week. I just have to slap my text on there now and probably make some thumbnails if I'm still awake, then submit : D
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