Both of you have wonderful hand crafted art. I would have liked if you guys tried to make the speech bubbles and the sound effects look more organic. <3 <3 Overall decent
not bad with the colors you two. betito has the edge in that department as it was a lot more subtle & thought was given to the scheme as a whole. carlito, less of a palette would have gone a longer way i think.
betito, as far as the comic went, again, my biggest problem was the fact that EVERYBODY HAS THE SAME EXACT FACE!! ok well not the one guy they take prisoner, & sometimes chia hui was slightly squintier than everyone else. there's little variations here & there but i can't tell if it's just inconsistency or a difference. ultimately, what i'm trying to say is don't rely on hair & other cranial accessories to tell the difference between people. especially when you're dealing with different ethnicities & frame & such. also there was a lot of big mid or close up shots while the action seemed to sit rather small on the page. work on your layouts & optimize for more space when something's exciting. beyond that, the characters were ok, but a lot of the props/background ancillary stuff was lacking. give the environs some more love.
carlito, why does it feel like all of your battles as of late have taken place in the same park? I mean you give us one maybe two backgrounds in this one & it's just a tree or two. beyond that, i get the point of how you paced the pages but there's so much dead space in the gutters. like a lot! and the brush inking was ok, but try to crush the blacks more. especially if you're going to take the panels out & throw them on to big, thick digital black gutters. there's an incongruity between the line work & the absolute black in ps & it's distracting. also, as i told betito, work on varying your faces some. other than the asian eyes & the height, they had the same face & the same build. at times they felt like they were also growing horizontally, like martin's face on the fourth & fifth pages for instance.
Betito: interesting paneling and camera angles. Try amping up the color or your line darkness, to even it out with the force of your word bubbles. Your word bubbles are also pretty cramped in some places, it's good to surround your text with a little more white to make it easier on your eyes (just make the bubbles larger, in most places you won't lose that much artwork/information). Really cool that you draw backgrounds. THe story is also readable and cute, hahah! The sheep on the last page is adorable.
Carlito: Same issue with the colors and linework being a little weak, especially against that black background (why..??) Also are you inking with a brush..? Glad you are trying different weights, but the line is super heavy-handed in some places. Try using a smaller brush or try inking on a larger page and scaling it down. I do appreciate the air you give your word bubbles! ALSO LMAO HAHAAH OH MAN Your dialogue got me laughing so much
Good job to both of you for making fast, complete stories in a short amount of pages.
Betito - i found your story a bit hard to follow, but real pretty colors and pencils!
Carlito - I like the thick and thin lines a lot :) Also, enjoyed seein Lophii in it ;)
Betito - Your art looks nice colored. I also like the facial expressions/body language you're putting effort into here. One thing you can work on (it's something I need to work on too) is line variation - some thick/thin line variation or some really solid dark places would help out. This was a fun read, so keep up the good work!
Carlito - First of all, I enjoyed the cameos ;) This was an interesting little story you made here, and well paced i think. I do think some of the facial features got out of control in some places, proportion-wise. But I can see you really put some thought into this - nice job!
Uploaded!
I traveled for the 50th birthday of my father, and yes..this is my excuse for the crappy quality in some pages.
Anyway, enjoy! I wanna see your comic Carlito! n_n
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