Kura- Obviously unfinished which you know so Ill leave that alone. From a storytelling perspective I really enjoyed the narrative aesthetic you had going with only Titan speaking. Overall your art was pretty nice. Could be a little cleaner overall but I think youve got a pretty good thing going. Just make sure you stay away from cliche imagery.
Cham- Im with Jax on this one I enjoyed the linework overall but a little more foreground definition could never hurt. Also your panel borders definitely need to be thicker. Them having the same line quality as the art makes pages like 8 confusing. Your characters are woderfully expressive though. The main problem I had was that I found the hand lettering extremely distracting. If you havent already check out http://www.blambot.com/ they have a bunch of sweet fonts specifically for comics and most of the basic ones are free.
Anyway keep up the good work both of you. It would be interesting to see either of these characters in a more combat oriented battle.
Much Love
Kura- Brush ink is wondeful, but your stories keep falling a bit short. For some reason, I have a bit of trouble connecting or concentrating on your comic. It's nice, though.
Charm- Not sure why everyone dislikes the thin lines, I always loved thin lines in art; but for the sake of everyone else, try making the foreground lines thicker than the background (which you did in a few panels). Also human face improvement, yes. Also, TITAN wasn't a psychologist here. :D
Kura-I like where you're going with your art lately, the brush ink looks very nice and is a welcome change to your regular stuff. I found the story simple and enjoyable although I was a little confused at the end. Do all the threads just come apart and go back into the yarn ball?
Charm-I think your backgrounds and humans are improving all the time although your humans' faces occasionally slip in quarter views, it's a definite improvement. Your lines are still uniformly thin, you can try like Jho suggested and add some more blacks to make certain things pop better. I really think your BW stuff would benefit a lot from toning, you can tone without the use of the computer. The story was enjoyable, I thought it was very cute.
I liked titan's side personally, aside from technical mistakes aside (the proportions of satin seems off), his expressions and backgrounds are pretty ace. the story is heartwarming, nice ending. I don't mind the thin line but i guess if you're aiming for pure b/w, and not using tones, use more blacks.
Kura, I liked your as well, it feels finished even though you said it is not. Short and sweet, enjoyable.
Woooh...I liked both stories. One was funny and a bit disturbing and the other one was kinda deep AND a bit disturbing^^
So I enjoyed both.
Here are the little things that I find were confusing or could be worked on:
-Kura: I like your art style, nice and simple. I agree with Michael on the 2nd page though...I also had the impression that she made the girl for 2 seconds. Also, your pages (exception for the 2nd one) were lacking in backgrounds. Nice idea ;3
-M.E.Charm: Loved it...I kinda felt pity for Titan in the beginning and I loved the ending. You could use different line weight to differenciate backgrounds, foregrounds, action and all that. That's the only thing I didn't like much about your pages. It seemed a bit flat. Apart of that it was great.
Wow TITAN...amazing I thought.
I liked your too kura but of course not as much. I think the bobbles arrow things should of faced more in the direction of whoever speaking. It was really good for a rush job.
Kura, really nice art, but its a little confusing. It took a second to realize that she made the girl a dress. first it was just a needle and thread, then all of a sudden it was a patch of material, then the girl had a shiny dress on that was a completely different color. I would have appreciated a few more panels so the transition would have been more understandable. It almost seems like she created the whole girl out of needle and thread. A few of the other panel transitions were confusing like that. Another thing that bothered me were the scratchy backgrounds, they just didn't seem to mesh with clean character treatment.
M.E. Charm, I still like the art, I just wish you would use heavier outlines so that your characters would pop out more, now the kind of get lost in jumble of marks. The story seemed to meander a bit in the beginning.
M.E. Charm- (Titan): heh dam, very nice piece of work, i should say myself. The story line was wonderful, i especially like the part when your character began falling with a rush of emotion. I was wondering was it a dream or did it really happen? Overall, yah get 2 thumbs up on my end.
Kura X- (Satin): Though you proclaim that page 5 was *bleh*, I enjoyed all of them. Very interesting, though I do wish you had continued it a little more. And as far as the comment on the last page, I'll make sure I take that in consideration. Overall,delicious art work I'm looking forward to seeing much more kewl spice effort though lol.
message to both-> looking forward to join void soon...heh look out for meh ^_^
Titan: bushybrows the fox fails to impress. =( Won't even bother to crit you. Waste of type. Your humans show improvement.
KuraX: Nice to see you on Void again. Your contast is great and things go a bit smooth in your panels.
all my funk on this died.
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