Marin: I LOVE your art style. Very anime-ish which is a guilty pleasure. I couldn't help but enjoy this even though your grammar was horrible (is english not your 1st language?)
Chia: I know you wanted to keep up the default streak we've had on Void lately, but you really didn't HAVE to. =)
Chia, sad panda face. Sad panda is sad.
Marinduquenio: Interesting battle, and most of the art issues have been addressed, so I'm going to push the writing aspect of this. You need to have someone proof your dialog, I think. Your grammar is seriously flawed, including problems with agreeing tenses, word mixups(you're/your) and jerky dialog. In a text-less comic, pictures have to tell the entire story. But when you use dialog you have to be as careful and as well-planned as you are with the drawing. If you don't think you can fix these sort of issues yourself, I strongly suggest finding a friend to act as an editor and maybe teacher/mentor so you can learn to avoid them yourself. These kinds of grammatical errors can really hurt a comic and mar the reading of it, so they are not really minor. They're as vital as fixing anatomy or working on backgrounds. Keep working.
Chia, I hope your battle goes up soon, but I would suggest you maybe go over it a few times to make it really polished before presenting it to us.
Marinduquenio: Not bad at all actually, decent comic, toned all the way through which is a plus. But almost all of this comic looked unfinished, especially the shadow clone guys. Be careful with how you ink now, the comic looked good, don't get me wrong, but with all the chicken scratches around characters and important details, I can't help but think of this as something that would normally look a lot better. Along those lines, don't get lazy with drawing faces, a + is not a face unless there's something that makes it a plus.
Story, well... it was nice, but to me this seemed ripped from the pages of Naruto considering you have a guy that is using \"Shadow Clones\", but thankfully unlike Naruto this was short and sweet and not long winded and drawn out. I kinda forgot what previously happened honestly in your last fights, but so far this isn't a bad read, just be careful of where you put dialogue boxes and keep an eye out for some minor text slip ups.
Chia:
......Fuck. I thought this was due today! >__<
Sorry guys! I've been really busy 'cause of my new job so I didn't get to log in 'til now, which was the day I had marked that it was due... Argh.
Well I will upload my half when I am actually home tomorrow. Really sorry!
hey hey! I thought you defaulted intentionally hehehe! anyway too bad you didn't make! . . .I knew your not the defualt type LOL
......Fuck. I thought this was due today! >__<
Sorry guys! I've been really busy 'cause of my new job so I didn't get to log in 'til now, which was the day I had marked that it was due... Argh.
Well I will upload my half when I am actually home tomorrow. Really sorry!
R.A. Southerland:
marinduquenio:
R.A. Southerland:
seems as tho defaults are becoming trendy.. tiz a shame.
yeah and its irritating!!!
im sure Chia has a reason.. sucks that this has happened to her more than once tho.
Im sure she have! what I am irritated is the line of defaults happening on void
marinduquenio- your comic looks good :) better than you past ones :3 yeah, I'd suggest to work on your anatomy a bit and also the way your drawing clothes; the folds looked a bit weird sometimes.
Nice comic from you though, keep at it :D
Everyone has a reason, but instead of defaulting, something to make up for it, even a sketch is good.
I'm fairly disappointed though, Chia- I was lookin forward to it.
Marin, Very good panel layouts. You've also been improving on your action. Every now and again you get a little distortion in your faces to where the features are so low on the face, it gives the impression of a huge head/forehead. Try to watch that.
Other than that, work on your backgrounds. Good work!
I hope this line of defaults doesn't continue.
marinduquenio:
R.A. Southerland:
seems as tho defaults are becoming trendy.. tiz a shame.
yeah and its irritating!!!
im sure Chia has a reason.. sucks that this has happened to her more than once tho.
Okay now that I'm home from work, time to give you a real crit Marinduquenio. I thought this looked far better than your previous battles. You're getting really good at action and layouts which is always good to see. I do think you could spend a little more time on your backgrounds, it's not necessary for action scenes but for more stationary shots it would be nice. Your anatomy while good for the most part, slipped from time to time on the arms, it looks like there's a few panels where they seemed to bend at the wrong area. Storywise it wasn't crazy original but I still found it entertaining. You might want to have someone proofread your stuff prior to submitting, there were some typos and grammatical errors here and there but I still had a good understanding of what was going on. Was a pretty nice battle, keep it up dude!
COME ON GUYS, STOP WITH THE DEFAULTS. if this keeps happening at this rate other people might start quiting void,
or all togeter, stop joining. this is so dis-heartining. makes me want to cry.... sniff, sniff
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