There needs to be a 'How to draw Porn' thread in the Uni part of the forums. Maybe that'll help a lot of folks with their female anatomy.
Good battle both of you.
RTV!
Some slick drawings through most of this, I think it would have been really great if all the panels were consistently badass. watch typos and i'm not feeling the blur effects. Your penciling and inking look much better. Your action shots are cool, but the more complicated ones get confusing to me.(like page 8 i don't really know wtf happened, I assume its an explosion) Maybe spreading out more complex action among more panels would help. Characters had pretty good expressions, and a sense of life/personality. all around pretty entertaining read.
Phill
Nice storytelling here, only thing that confused me was page 6 last \"panel of rage\" took me a second read to realize he was remembering what happened on page 1. Your clear narrative helped you come out ahead for me. Art-wise, i'm not feeling the bricks in some of the background, look like they were done with white-out, which would be fine but they're not as tight as the rest of your BG inking. And I think the spots where characters break out of panels they could have had a white outline to separate them from the panels they break out of.
I look forward to the next chapters!
Rtv Of course you know how i feel about your stuff you didn't dissapoint man good job
phill i could regurgitate all that youve been told before but all i can really say is if you are going to draw haruka naked at least draw her scar
if you are going to cameo or battle as a rule i try to study all the characters i'm going to draw you should as well
RTV: Damn I wish you coulda had the whole story done for this battle. You had me wanting more. I'm always impressed with your method of story telling and of your angles. Your scan quality coulda been a better, that hurt it some. Looking forward to see part 2 of this. Keep it up.
Phil: I really liked this, it seems to have such a different mood then your previos battles and it makes me want more. Try and do some more battles in this mood, its pretty entertaining. I didnt like that shrapnel girl was stripping though, seemed outa character for her and forced. I DID like that scene where his ear and side of his arm was shot.
I think he would walk away like nothing. They were grazes and even if they hurt alot, he was in front of RTV. To save face in front of someone like that you have to give the feeling that you arent phased by them. Plus, Phils been thru lot lot worse.
Both had GUM cameos and ofcourse that made me happy =). Good fight guys.
rtv: your side came off pretty generic. i like gun fights as much as the next person, but i mean it was just bland. also, you seem to rely on photoshop a lot & it really seems unnecessary. like those blurs in the beginning when you have a joke between the two characters, you use the same panel twice but blur out different sections... but like you blurred out your character when he was giving the punchline. which is another thing, all of the 'joke-y' dialogue came off as silly more than funny. it was funny more because it seemed like a parody of an action scene rather than a proper action scene, which i think was more the vibe. and i dunno if it was an intentional style thing but there seemed to be a disconnect between the more realistic characters & the way you drew phil. even the other furries seemed more realistic looking. i'd say either go one way or the other.
phil: your line work's been getting consistently nicer, but your figures are all SUPER stiff. i mean that stripper? that's the stiffest stripper ever (and for god's sake get your eyes off their feet & onto their boobs. study that shit! haha). but i mean all of your figures don't seem to bend at the spine. they're straight rigid. and i mean scenes where you have someone getting shot, have them double over or lean in pain or something. i mean your character got shot & he was sitting in the same position as he was before only now with a grimace. body language would help convey that better. also, this felt like a story fragment & i don't like story fragments.
-J
Both of these battles confused me. I suggest you both work on working out your paneling better. It starts off good, but then you end up confused like \"WTF just happened\". Did Phil just walk away like he was okay after getting shot?
Anyways,
RTV: your style has always weirded me out (in a good way) it's just so.. I dunno... Aeon Flux? is that right? It fits. I'd like to see more stability in your work though, there wasnt much quality going on. Good action though.
Phil: Is that camel toe, or massive balls? Look up female anatomy, Dude- cause that shit is tripping. I suggest working on that for a while. You also need to loosen up your figures. That pole dancing looks like square dancing. Remind me not to go to that strip club. Anyways, your inking looks really good, its very clean. Good character development too. again, boobies, less camel toe next time.
Good job to you both.
Oh, I know. I was just pointing out that he seemed a bit too 'meh' about it then, compared to earlier, so it stuck out to me at the time. I know the character's been through MUCH worse and come out walking. I wouldn't expect him to be crying and staggering around, lamenting how his life is about to end. XD I just think there was a bit of a quick flip to the switch. And it's totally my opinion. I've talked to others who didn't see a problem with it. /shrug So it's all an opinion thing. I just thought it flowed a bit odd to my own reading of it. That's all. ^^
Well character wise he's had a lot worse ya know: He's had his feet plowed through solid cement and got dempsy rolled until he was knocked stupid. He's been tossed off of a bridge by a powerful magnet that yanked him off by his tail along with 15 or so cars and trucks into the sea. Been punched through a car. Ran over, and a bunch of other shit that I've forgotten.
He still feels pain though and I understand what you're getting at. But my thinking is that it's the least likely thing that's gonna make him keel over in pain in my point of view.
That was NOT my point, actually. But thanks for correcting me, anyway. I was saying that in the next panel he's obviously in pain and so on. That's normal. But the next page he's acting like 'eh, whatever, my ear kinda stings' and that just looked kinda odd TO ME. As in, jumping from 'ow' to 'meh' in a short span was a bit of a 'huh?' as I read through it. I was commenting on how it looked from my PERSONAL stand point, as in my opinion. I'll be more clear when commenting in the future.
Kotori Ky:
Also, Phil gets shot at least once, seems twice, and he gets up and walks away as if nothing is wrong next page. That's a little weird, but eh.
He got shot in the side of the arm and in the ear, both flesh wounds, illustrated from that point on in the comic... in the very next panel even, as hes gripping his arm and his ear is bleeding....
Rtv!: That was really sweet. It had a 70's movie vibe to me. I really liked that the storyline was a continuation of stuff that's been happening to Rtv over the course of his character. Having a deep character gives you a big adventage over newer people who are still trying to devolop their persona.
Phillip: Boobies. I could end it right there but I'll be nice and crit you. I didn't have a problem with your art like others did. I thought your pole dancer was alright and even if she had flaws it was a minor detail. The rest of your artwork was great. It is darker than your normal entries and you pull it off well. You did an excellent job of showing both sides. You showed character devolopment of both Rtv and Phil.
You both showed more plot devolopment than action and I liked it. It wasn't shallow like alot of fights end up being. It makes me want to continue following your characters instead of forgetting who they are like some of the newer ppl lately. lol
Whoooa- both sides, totaly not what I was expecting- and talk about being pleasantly surprised!
RTV- While I agree on the whole spelling/quality issues in your comic, the storyline and action had me really interested and engaged! Totally dug it Poetry in its sequential gritty motion.
PHILL- Also, in agreement over the stiffness overall on characters and lack of looseness, but the total 180 on the atmosphere and mood for this comic in comparison to your other ones really stands out. It felt like a very tasty trailer for the throwdown thats coming. Awesome stuff.
Rtv!: Well, it was interesting. But it became a chore to read, and that killed it for me. You seriously need to watch the spelling and grammar there. Slang talk and lingo is fine in dialog but you still have to spell things right and have it make sense. I'm also rather confused, who is the kid and where did they come from? I don't remember it from your previous battles, but I'll go reread them, it's been awhile.
Phil: Female. Figure. Study it. Now. Seriously, some really messed up women there. Side-nipples, boobies that defy gravity, and no rib cages... scary. And she was incredibly stiff while pole-dancing. Didn't look fun. Loosen up and give'em some curves, dude. Also, Phil gets shot at least once, seems twice, and he gets up and walks away as if nothing is wrong next page. That's a little weird, but eh.
Interesting match both sides.
@Rtv!: your comic had some really neat dynamic poses and angles as well as more action...but yeah, as others have said I think it could have been more cleaned up.
@phillipC: your lines looked very nice and smooth and you backgrounds were pretty nice lookin', but Rtv was looking a bit scrawny in some panels. good stuff though :3
neat battle guys!
RTV! - Impressive. Smooth art, nice little adventure, lot of fun to read. Glad you were able to get it done this time. B+, B, B
Phil - Artwise, not bad. The direction you're going looks to me as if you need a bit more work with the anatomy work, some of the perspective didn't seem convincing either. All in all, good effort. C+, C, C
rtv- That was like a quentin terrentino movie. the style and the action were really hot. The scan quality was really weak, though, which ended up hurting the presentation a little. I don't know, I still enjoyed it. I think this may be one of your best entertainment wise.
phill- Your line art has improved a lot. The ladies could use some work as you've already been told, but I thought for the most part it looked nice. Only thing that stood out to me besides the ladies was when phill got shot.. it looked way to stiff. I really dug the story too.
RTV! had good angles, snappy dialogue (almost...*too* \"snappy\"? I dunno) and some good character interaction. I was quite invested in their stories and points of view, as well as the fate of Shrapnel
Phil C had some nice, smooth lines and good pacing. It could have used more gray tones, but the layout was clear and I could tell what was happening.
Both comics were really good. I like the panelling on phils, but some of the hatching stuff looked a bit confusing to me sometimes (pg 1 first panel and on the floor in the bar.)
Rtv... it felt like I was watching a movie, especially how you messed around with who's in focus and angles and all that (pg 3). Only thing that lets you down a lot is the really bad spelling. Still but, really good stuff from both sides.
RTV: Please tell me that's not Angie on page 1.
Phill: this was pretty great. It got to a point where I forgot I was reading one of your comics (no offense I just mean it's a very dark departure from your usual style). You've really improved as an artist in the last two years dude, keep it up.
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