Zsa, the English was hard for both of those reasons, really... the verb tenses rarely agreed, and the slang was kind of weird. Might I suggest not trying to do really clever slang without getting a proofreader? <:D
No worries, though, your English is way better than my Portuguese so I shouldn't really be criticizing, hahah.... your art carries the story pretty well, so the grammar doesn't ruin anything for me. :3
Mokuu: thanks! You're indeed right! I should have taken extra care, I'm still developing the use of line weights, but thanks to your tips I think I'm getting it :D. And fury of comics is awesome xD
Rabbitx2: I see what yo umean with their faces :O I really need to draw more kids :X
Also.. hm, was the english hard to understand because it's incorrect, or because it's not in a common way of reading and such?
Thanks you three!
Wow, these were some crazy fights.
Zsab… after seeing yours all I have to say is “can I buy some weed from you?” haha. and Corny, your comic had me rolling, I love siblings that swindle each other for cash.
In the end, is it gonna be the epic one which may have been a bit confusing at times, or the short and simple one with a killer punchline… Oh I can’t decide!
Loved it! :D
Zsabreuser: I'm loving your crazy designs - Tammy's mile-high hat, the gangsters in the background, it's all very \"JoJo.\" XD The details and the boldness really make it work. But I agree with Mokuu, you should make things in the foreground bolder and things in the background lighter, sometimes the art gets hard to read. For instance, I can't tell what the escalator is being used for. And also, Twerp and Squert don't really look like little kids... for drawing kids, in addition to looking at actual photographs, maybe you could look at that little girl who follows Jotaro around to see how it would work would your style?
All in all, though, it's gorgeous. And Corny's characters inspire really grim endings in her opponents somehow, it seems...
The hard-to-understand English didn't really bug me. It made me nostalgic, for some reason... I think I'm used to fansubs. -*.*-
It's still a good idea to improve, though. I think an actual class might help with that?
Corny: BOOYAH! GP!HQ's first official appearance! It somehow feels official now. *dance dance*
Your expressive characters are great, I've always got a goofy grin on my face when I'm reading your comics. I especially like how you drew Delanna - she looks cutesy in your style, but you can still tell that she's a classy adult lady with massive torpedo hooters. Yay! :D The dynamics between the sisters are dead-on, too. Do you have any siblings yourself?
I'm really missing your bright, bold colors though. The grayscale looks all wrong for your style. It's also a good idea to start learning perspective - the basics really aren't TOO difficult, I don't think you'd have too much trouble with it. There's a topic called \"VCU to the third powah\" or something like that in the Forums that covers the very topic, if you wanna check it out.
All in all, the battle was just as awesome as I hoped it would be, guys! Keep up the good work!
zsabreuser: Two things struck me quite hard when i was reading your comic: First the line weight was too consistent: Sometimes you had a character which was closest to us had weaker or equal lineweight to special effect or even the background, this really obstructed the readability of the action going on. Second you can kick much more asses at figure drawing than this: Page 5 is an example, the limbs are disproportionate and sometimes use reverse/inward curves or page 4, face going inward, eyes too close to each other. Tiny stuff like that can easily pile up while you're in the fury of making comics. Yet you get my vote for the hard work.
Corny: Whenever you can, tackle the perspective theory and kick it up with photo references to give yourself deeper and more detailed backgrounds. Inking wise, try the brush pen, somehow i feel that it might give you interesting results compared to the micron pens. And also, get a deeper meaning than just a random attack, we cant really take sides when a random battle takes place since we don't know anyone's motive to fight nor what they get out of it.
Awesome! Thanks for the battle Corny!
Loved your take on Delanna even if I still found it strange she attacking Tammy for no reason, haha, in other hand, that's pretty much how we came up with this challenge!
I'm also sorry for not having even toned the rest of my stuff, but I'll leave no excuses, it's really my fault. In other hand, I'm pretty much satisfied with the result artistically speaking, as the lines are a real new thing to me this time.
Kozi: Thanks for the crits and props! I see what you mean about the speech, and it seems to be a recurring problem in my comics so far :( I'd like to have some heads up on what could I do to improve into thinking like an american speaker (brazillian here), and even if I know that reading is the best thing, I'd like to know if are there recommended ways, or then some good writers :D. As for the soundtrack, nah, I just thought that the song title would fit the fight, and also that's a pretty nice song from The Black Crowes (I listened to a lot of them while making the comic, so that's why they are there)! I totally recommend them you like rock'n roll.
:D Good luck to us both, Corny!
(And hope for more feedback :0)
Nice battle you two! :) Work that awesome ouuuut!
Zsabreuser- Loved the color pages and when the color ran out, I have to admit I loved your ink work. Its pretty solid and in your face. Oh and the angles, the ANGLES. Some great panel placement and perspective going on- I dug it. The little anatomical mistakes I could overlook as well as the odd fact that twerp and squirt looked like they were in their mid twenties 0_o What I couldn't overlook was the dialogue. I'm not sure if English is your first language (and I mean no offense), but it felt like I was watching an anime that was fan subbed all over again. When I read the note about a music soundtrack on the last page, I thought, \"ok, is the dialogue lyrics to a song?\" Which, if they are, makes me think you're better off coming up with your own script. >.>
All in all, I loved it, gave high votes to quality and such, but would've enjoyed it more if I could...well, understand it.
Corny~ GirlPower headquarters is GIRLY. I loved the singing mermaid sculptures. XD and the hedge elephant? Really nice touches. While I can see how some people in comparison to your opponent might say, \"Well it wasn't epic enough\"- the fact stand that, alone, it was a pretty cool story. Intro, conflict and resolution. All jam packed into five lovely pages. I thought it was pretty clean cut. Although, I would like to see some reason or possible background explanation in the comic as to why Delanna just up and starts throwing kicks.
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