Nothing much to add, pretty art, but no motivation, momentum or actual story to support it. I wasn't sure Nj even wanted to draw his own character. I mean as much as I love boobs, they were completely overshadowed by \"starting to bug me\".
Dr. Mario definitely prescribes more than 2 week battles for you two.
I liked both fights very much, I understand that both of you couln'd finish them because of lack of time, and maybe some personal issues.
Njhinesjr: I think that if you'd put just a sketch of Namless standing above deafeted Roach, it would make more sense. Aldough I don't understant why Roach would attack Namless without reason :P Strip club was my favorite part XD
alberto311: I think that it's a great imrprovment since we could see Roach in last battle, so I guess you plan your work better now :) I hope that when you'll come back your style will improve even more ;)
Angieness - thanks for the crit. I'll definately be paying mind to my line weights. I had the story laid out in my brain and when it came to crunch time and laying it down I went brain dead. next time I'll commit to paper so's i wont forget.
Herokarma- thanks will do.
Thanks NJ it was fun drawing your character. And I have some things to finish Like a BB for V. so I'll keep jamming and come back stronger. Good stuff on your part I like the nightmarish version of the Roach. We'll have to battle or collabarate on something again, this time we'll give each other more time.
Silver -- yea it's something not to be thrown in the backburner. Storywise anyways.
Peace to all I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. And I'll be back to do battle in the beggining of the year.
Peace
I'm very impressed with the draftsmanship from the both of you - clean linework and excellent attention to detail. It was a fun read meaning there weren't places where wonky anatomy kicked me in the face before reading on. Little tweaks here and there, if I nitpick.
Stories, however, leave a little to be desired. I know the point of VOID is the battles, but to have a little filler in the background before launching into a fight is good. Njhinesjr's abrupt scene change left me wondering how this battle had much to do with Rebel Roach at all.
Thanks for the feedback peeps. The next Nameless edition will have a lot of filling in (I know it's a bit nonsensical at the moment). Time became a factor, didn't manage it all that well I admit, and I had to cut. The layoff took it's toll on my speed. I'll definately be MUCH improved next go round.
Great job Alberto. Very much improved from your last battle. I hope things get better for you soon. Don't stay away too long.
Al: great pacing and art up until the last page. It's pretty obvious you ran out of time at the end, but I have no idea what happend on page 5. The fight cuts off suddenly and something's up with pictures of the dude namless killed? I think you put too much effort into the pages one at a time, so for your next battle thumb the whole thing out first so you'll have a better idea how much work to put into each.
guywiththeincomprehensiblenamestartingwiththeletterN: Same as I said for Al, but you go even further. Love the pencils, but you stop halfway through your fight to focus on RTV and P2. Wrap up the first fight and then if you have time left lead into forshadowing. It feels like Al got cheated on that deal.
Alberto-while I like the details that you had here, there is a such thing as too much detail if you don't have any line variation. I had a really hard time telling the difference between the background and foreground. You can do all the detail that you want but please, put some line variation in there or it becomes very cluttered. I think you made good choices with composition and angles and such but that doesn't really help when I can't tell the difference between the background and foreground. I think your anatomy was spot on and your backgrounds are very lovely. I think you should also work on your writing, this fight was just so random I really had a hard time following what was going on. Try to give the audience a chance to care about your character, while your art is lovely and all there just hasn't been any character development to make me want to continue reading about him.
Njhinesjr-Your pencilling is very lovely but I think you could bear to mess with the levels a little in photoshop just to make the lines darker. It's fine to just do pencils but we have to be able to see them. Most of the time your anatomy was very good but there were a few times things looked a little off. Like on the second page first panel I think his legs are pretty short and his face looks pretty off in the following panels. I would have really liked to see the fight go somewhere and maybe give us a little build up before you change the scenes. It's like whoa Rebel Roach is going to fight! oh crap out of nowhere there's RTV and P2. It's totally fine to change scenes, just try to make it a little more gradual so it makes sense. It would have been better to have Nameless and Rebel Roach finish up their fight and *then* change scenes so it doesn't seem so abrupt.
So keep it up you two, you both have some very nice art but there's a lot to be desired in the way of writing.
sorry Nj, sorry guy's. I'll be bowing out to the shadows for awhile and won't be back until I can get myself straightend out. To much going on to commit to any more battles, maybe next year will bring better success. Although these last two battles have taught me alot and giving great experience. Thanks all. See ya in the void.
Wow, 7 months later. NJ, you give em a good one.
Sorry i suddenly disappeared for years, i do that at full moon.
Hope we'll get to fight soon.
I haven't altered our battle, except wiping the dust of them sheets.
So by all means, rape eachother. I support rape.
Lets get ready to Ruuuuuuummmmmbbblllleeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Roach will definately be on the dance floor this go around! Good luck Nj, I'm honored to be doing battle with you. I'm a fan of your art, I hope to not dissappoint!!!!
Comments (21)