Both sides were really good. Your art styles are easy to follow. I can't count how many times I've seen art so complicated that you can't figure out what the heck is going on but neither of you did that. It looked good but it was fluid.
I saw your fight too late to vote but I think i'd give the very slight edge to Jin. You both had good art and good story but I liked the story to Jin's just a little bit better. It wasn't the same fighting scene you see in most comics here. It was a little more unique.
Really grateful for all the feedback guys!
I got a bit confused about the art stuff squidman posted, because to me what he said explains in different art styles, but anyway xD
KoKo: I'm still waiting the email, but it's ok, if you've been having no time, so, take your time :D
I've taken note of all the problems said, and am already trying my best to overcome them, thanks! I hope I don't disappoint you next time :D
AND thanks Jho, again for the battle :DD
thanks buds, much appreciated for the comments, and squidman, thanks for the crit, i understand it is rather weird.. I hate writing her that way myself, but iri's .. how I can say this, weird. so her speech pattern ... i mean the way i was trying to write it is strange at best but alas, it is still sounds a bit too pretentious, so thanks for that. thanks buds
I was a little bothered by the dialogue in Jingu's comic. It is very unnatural and uncomfortable in some places. Like on page 5 when they are talking about gifts and Iri is like, \"May I know what they are?\" Why couldn't she just say \"What are they?\" I mean, I think what you're trying to do is create tension (yes?), but... no one talks like that. I also was confused at first by what was going on story-wise; I had to read it again to understand. But, I think that was mostly due to the sketchiness of pages 5 and 6. Otherwise, I very much enjoyed the art in this; it was very eye-catching. And even though it is sketchy and unfinished, I give it a higher score than Zsabreuser's.
I am not sure what it is about Zsa's art that makes me think that way. Technically, it isn't bad, and a lot of effort was apparantly put into it: I appreciate the fact that it is colored, and there are some amazing backgrounds and the colors, I think, work very well. I love the bricks. Yeah. Especially in panel 1 of page 5. They make this.. action-line effect as Del is running and I thought that was really excellent. xD
I am going to take a stab at what bothers me about Zsa's art: it seems flat. Comparing the two comics, Jingu's drawing 'pop,' it feels like the characters could walk and talk in real life. Zsa's are 2D cartoons that don't aspire to be anything more. I think the reason for this is Jingu has a better handle on shading... she has... whatdoyoucallem.. reflected light, and all that, that give her drawings roundness. So my suggestion to Zsa would be to work on shading.
So um. I hope this helps. Nice battles both. :>
FOr a six page challenge the story would likely take a backseat and let the overdriven art tell it itself. What I found in Jho's pages was intense characterisation carried by sharp dialogue and energetic art. I hardly got lost in it because I find myself caught up in each passing moment.
Though I didn't care much for the one week transition. For a six pager, I think the dynamic of the events could have been more effective if it was all in one scene (time frame) since the conversation can already do well enough to establish the setting of their relationship.
Zsa gets it for an easier dynamic though I had to do two reads to get it in full, the hallucination part drummed the flow for me a lot, as well as grammaticals towards the end. Artwise , VERY hulk strong, the colors convey things amazingly well and it seems bulletproof in conveying the story. Though your anatomy seems shaky at the moment in terms of consistency esp. in faces. Good job holding your own against Jing >: D
This is great for the length of time you both set yourselves. Really, amazing job.
Jho, you have such a fantastic style I also adore it when I get to see it. The sketchiness is part of the charm, to me, and the colors only enhance the feel you get into them. The story was interesting as we haven't really seen much of Iri outside of her initial BBs... I throughly enjoyed it all around, though I ended up wishing for more.
Zsa: You have a very unique style and coloring, which I enjoyed. You had some good panels, some bad panels, and a solid story. What was its downfall for me was the usual that I bitch about: Grammar. I had to stop, go back, reread and kept correcting in my head, which distracted me from the flow and brought the entertainment down for me by a marked amount, which is a pity. If you have trouble with it, tap a friend and have them proof the script or the pages and it'll smooth it out. If you have any questions about it or want me to show you the problems, feel free to poke me whenever I'm active(not lurking) in the chat.
Jho takes my vote here. Cheers, you two.
Little torn, z had a more rounded story, but somehow Jingu's art pushes it slightly over by one point.
I have only one real complaint about zsa's - it doesn't do much good to put a soundtrack song at the end of a comic, we can't listen to it while we read then?
As expected, a big kick in my buttt :D
I loved your story, I think I got the story pretty ok, and the colors you add really gives a special mood to the pics, and I find that awesome. Plus, you draw Delanna better than myself, specially considering my comic, which has some real ugly panels with her :X
Your style is pure win :00
About the story again, I think it fit very nicely for a restrained 6 page as we agreed on limiting, and had a real nice pacing, even if I thought the changes between 5 and 6th a bit abrupt, but it's nice.
Thanks for the battle, and for the challenge :D It's a really nice experience trying to do a full story in a week! thank thanks :DD
I like your part more, zsa, inconsistenices of the face and proportion aside, your story is much easier to understand and enjoyable to read. thanks for battling me!
Okay, uploaded! Still gotta send the thumbs to wei, though (just to make sure the pages are in, at least), which I'll be sending as soon as I select them :0
I bought a confortable seat, because my ass is gonna hurt from Jho's kickin'.
Comments (24)