This is probably still early to say, but I'd like to thank Kura one more time for making this fight possible. Kura, I really marveled at what you presented between Satin and Eliza so this one's all you. Maybe someday in the future we could do a possible rematch. If that ever happens, I'll do what it takes to show a completed match.
All you guys out there, thank you again for the commentary, and especially you Kev for the feedback! I really appreciate what you said and I will practice what you suggested. :)
I'm not to good with critiques but here it goes...
Kura:
Good line variation, use of blacks, and texture. Your action flowed well. Also I like Satin's story and new personality, it's an interesting development.
The bad is that after page 1 you stopped doing shading entirely this left some of the pages (like 8) feeling kinda empty. Also again after page 1 your backgrounds were sketchy or non-existent. Your thin lines were... broken up (I don't know how to put it better. A good example is page 5.)... This could've been a result of the scanning process or image resizing.
Mause:
You've got some nice stuff there. l love your use of grays and you have a good detailed style when it comes to characters. And your panels are pretty dynamic at times.
Your backgrounds are kinda stiff and flat. You could also use some more variation in linewidth. It seemed to me your pages were a bit crowded, you might try spreading your action out a bit with less panels per page. I'm the last person to bitch at someone about incomplete stuff, 3 weeks seems like a lot until you realize how much material you actually wrote. Hopefully we both improve on this in the future.
Kura-I like what you did with the linework in a lot of areas, especially when it came to drawing Satin's ribbons. My main complaint is the quality of the scans, the line quality came across fine on this battle, but being the obsessive cleaner I am, it bothered me to occasionally see dust and stuff on the scans, but I didn't mark you down for it since it wasn't a huge deal. I think the backgrounds could have used more fine tuning, like the lines on the fence and such looked pretty rough. I enjoyed the battle a lot just be sure to work on those backgrounds in the future.
Bittermause-I really like the personality you've given your character and I was actually pretty surprised with how you handled the part of the battle that got serious since I'm used to seeing comedy from you. It sucks you weren't able to finish, but I enjoyed all the different textures you had in the more complete pages and you did a great job on the facial expressions.
Oh my god you guys, that was the best battle I have seen. I guess, in shallow way, this might be the fanservice thing that has aroused my fullest attention, but still. The art, the action, everything was wonderfully delicious.
Kura: You have a very seductive character. I love the insanity she has, and the casual was she carries her insane-ness about. This really makes me want to battle her. Your action scene was great, and the best part was the kissingHAHAHHAH! [creepy giggling]. I'm not sure how I should go about criticising you, since the comic looked fine..except now that I take a third look through the pages, I thhink you could work a bit on your inking. your inking itself is fine, but in some places, the lines look a bit sloppy compared to other panels. But overall, a speical doughnut-shaped A for you.
Bittermoomoo<3: I LOVE ELIZA SO MUCH! Maybe because of her innocence, or even her FACIAL EXPRESSION. What makes me love characters are facial expression, and Eliza has the best ones yet I've seen on girls for VOID, especially when she''s in panic, or a shock. Your sction scenes were amazing, and the way you even showed various textures, like the shines on her ribbons, hair, and marble counter in the bathroom was just great. Your paneling is superbiousfullmmm<3
Aside from not being able to finish it, I think you did an excelling job. Please keep it coming.
Battle uploaded. Needless to say I'm not very thrilled with my personal outcome. My f*cking full time job has been stressing me out physically so I had little time to finish what I could. I apologize to everyone ( especially Kura ) if they are disappointed with this.
I'm definitely looking forward to the match. Eliza's last was enormously charming, and Satin's was impressive as well. It will be interesting to see how it goes. ^_^
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