I'm so stoked to finally see this fight!
Dejichan: I liked your battle a lot! It was great to finally see Vinca in action. I have a problem with a few of your choices, though. Exactly how much time did it really take you to COLOR the pages, compared to how much time you spent on TONING? I think for the time it took to do the tones, you might as well have colored. Your coloring is gorgeous, but the toning is just... okay. I think you're doing toning like you do your coloring, but really, toning is a very, very different set of skills - you don't need to tone EVERYTHING on the page like that. I also think it would have looked better if you replaced some of those solid grays with solid blacks, like on Vinca's socks and tie, the grays just aren't that interesting to look at. One major thing to look out for: in the scene where Vinca's running, her left arm moves forward at the same time as her left leg. The only animal I know that moves like that is a camel, for humans it's VERY unnatural. When you walk, pay attention to how your own arms and legs move, they move opposite to each other. And don't be afraid to tackle those backgrounds! It will make the whole thing more readable. Overall, though, your story and character are very cute, I think I'm in love! :3
Rikun: The art just looks really unfinished, but everyone's already told you that, I really don't have much to add. It was a really easy read, though, I could tell what was going on the entire time throughout. Also, the story was still cute. :D
Nice battle and an entertaining read, both of you!
Good luck to both of you ♥, Deji is real goof at the quality of her art, and Itami is very creative in a way, I wish you both the best ♥ *had a hard time voting*
Woo, fun, wonderful. =D There were some panel inconsistancies with Rikun's art, but all in all, not too shabby. *feels wierd because she's a newbie* Anyways, had lots of fun reading. Vinca rocxors my soxors, lmao.
I really enjoyed this for one thing- Vinca's first battle didn't involve food.
Dejichan - Though it was interesting to see your comic in tones, I would have thought it would have been better how you started it out on the first page with color. That was a let down. I was also confused with some of the placements of your panels, but that may be because of what Angie said about needing bigger panels. But still not bad with being sick and all.
Rikun - I was able to read straight though your comic with no problems, which is a plus for my simple mind. And I know about having to be swamped with school, but a little bit of shading wouldn't hurt to help you out there. (I'm only basing this because of your intro comic, I know your battle comics don't show much shading).
But with those little things aside, this was a really good read. It interested me when I should be doing my 3D modeling project.
OOooOoOOOOhh!! Good first battle Deji amor!! If we consider you were sick through it, it doesn't look that bad, and your handle on tones is very good!
I liked how both of you worked with so much movement in here, specially because your pages aren't very big, and yet it doesn't make my head spin around and it's understandable. Lets hope next time there's more luck on your side and bacteria and viruses keep their nasty microscopic hands off from you. <3
Yeah, drawing fighting will be something I will have to get used to, but you guys got it pretty well, I think!
Geehehehe, panties. Everywhere.
Uhhhm... well tis a good battle ^^
I was expecting a wow battle, but this is not bad at all.
Deji - I know on the technical part, you're a lot better than what you've showed here, but you've got an excuse ^^. I've got to commend you on your tones & panneling though. And the consistant quality too. I for one think the toned parts look almost as good as the colored parts. The story seemed a bit bleh for me but that's just an opinion.
Rikun - I for one am kinda disappointed :/ I know you also had a lot of stuff going on during the fight too, but chances are you know when finals were before you set up the fight. The battle itself was ok, but I think Deji deserved a little more effort from your part on her first battle.
Yay, a two-parter--those are always fun!
Deji-- I was so psyched to get on and read your first battle today! But I have to admit, I was expecting just a little more from you. I know you got sick (and I feel you on that on) and I think that was a portion of why you weren't as up to par with this battle as all of the other artwork i've seen you do. I really wish you could have done this entire thing in color! My only big beef with this that hasn't been covered in previous comments was the look of the action sequences. When the ninjas started chasing Vinca there wasn't much to express that any of them were moving quickly, just a few speed lines on the legs. Maybe blurring the lineart or adding more speedlines would have helped? I dunno, I just wasn't convinced that they were moving quickly. Other than that I think this was a great introduction battle on your behalf and look forward to seeing more!
Rikun-- I've had the pleasure of reading some of your previous battles and have to say that you have indeed improved. A lot of people tend to shy away from doing big action sequences or more complicated poses but you went right out there and tried and i'm glad you did. I think one thing you might want to look into to make your fight a little more believable though would be adding a few more wrinkles in the clothing. The characters are moving and fighting and yet their clothes look static which in turn make them look static. Dynamic action calls for dynamic clothing!
Great battle, you two!
i tend to be very generous in someone's first battle. I guess you can say that I don't grade you're drawing ability against the other persons, but the whole of a piece.
Great addition of characters and backgrounds from deji...although I may have liked to see more variance in the shadows of the characters (lighting mainly from change from alley to main street etc. In general great contrast of colors and character heights were accurate.
Rikun its great you're back up agains, I've seen your past battles and I think this is one of those last minute ones you had, and didn't quite get finished with your stuff. Backgrounds and facial expressions were both in a sense blank. ikami has this smirkish look on her normally, but when compared to your past fights this really makes things hard to grade.
I'm glad you both continued one story, and I must say this is one of the few battles where it played well
Deji-duuude it was good for a first fight but I know you can do better yo! First things first, backgrouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunds, you really didn't have many at all and most of what you did have was very vaguely suggested. I know you're capable of doing lovely backgrounds because I've seen you do it, just please don't neglect them in future fights. I think it would help a lot if you worked with larger panels, sometimes the action gets really cramped so I'm unsure of what's going on because I couldn't see the whole picture or the action was vaguely suggested. Most of the toning looked nice but you also got a little sloppy in some areas where the tone bled into the word bubble or out of the lines. Most of your poses were good but there were a few that looked stiff to me like Vinca running on the first page. Your linework also started getting kinda shaky around page 8.
Other than that I think it was pretty good for a first fight, I liked how you handled the characters and once you get into the swing of things you'll be churning out some pretty awesome stuff. Procrastination is the devil so try to put yourself on a strict schedule like week 1 you're going to thumb/pencil stuff, week 2-3 inking, and week 4 for lettering/toning/coloring/touch ups.
Rikun-I understand you had a lot of stuff going on with school so I'm glad to see you managed to get something in. In this fight as well as your previous fights I've noticed you have a bad habit of not inking your stuff or even cleaning it up. I know life isn't always forgiving but don't take on fights if you know you're not going to be able to give it your all. You also rarely seem to have any backgrounds at all, again I know you were strapped for time but I'm looking at your fights as a whole. Your getting better with your anatomy and action. But please in the future take on fights only when you know you can time wise, handle them, it sucks to see when an artist was unable to give it their all.
submitted it, hope it works ^^
it was really fun to draw =3 I wish I could have done a better linework and colored all the pages. I'll do better next time.
This will teach me to manage better my time and to procrastinate less =o=;... so when I get sick in the last minute again, I don't have to end rush things up to make it up for time in bed beinng sick >_>;; *coughs and sneezes*
Anyway, hope you enjoy it when it's finally up =3
*goes to take and aspirin and sleep*
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