Chia, as always I'm impressed wit ya work, and who!!!!!! For an experiment wit colors u did a pretty bang up job. wish my esperiments turned out that successful...we definitely gon have ta get a battle in sometime
and rikun, I'm seein progress, n more effort in this fight than the last. jus keep at it n good things'll happen!!
seems kinda \"beyond\" battling, but great job on both sides :D amazing art from Chia and great sequential storytelling from Rikun
keep up the good work to both!
Hey Rik man. I wanted to drop a line before heading out of town. I just wanted to say it's good to see that you finally turned in something complete, so congrats on that. I'm just gonna warn you though man that we're gonna be expecting more from you from here on out, so if you still think you got time to throw down for this Void thing you better be willing to make some sacrifices for your art's sake. I'm just telling it true. You should be able to tell between you and Chia's work what things you could be working on to make your next fight even better, so take it all in and keep up your sketching. I will say one thing though, I did like how you and Chia kept the same color mood for both entries. That's something we haven't seen as often with connected stories, very smart!
Chi-chi-chi-Chia! Nice first! There've been some nice comments given for your end, so take them to heart. You've put a lot of thought into your character, so remember, Ajay's development isn't limited to BB's alone. This bout was straightforward and fun, but if you do too many with this pacing it will stunt your character's growth for sure. Just keep on pushing, and stay open minded. I think you're headed in the right direction overall, so I'm looking forward to what's next!
Good luck you two!
chia, great art, nice work
crits: needs more background. page 3, panel where itami flyingroundhouses the thug looks really awkward. it makes her look like she's flying horizontally. also, all your moving shots look static because you actualy draw and outline everything. eg, when Ajay is trying to kick itami, you just drew her leg normally, then added speed lines in photoshop. maybe if you blurred her leg, or drew the actionlines on her leg with ink, or made her outline hatched.
i give this level of detailed crit to you because i love your style and i would like to see you do an awesome comic in your next fight. and i can only see those things in your work becuase i tend to do them in my own.. .hehe.. takes one to know one O_O.
Rikun: great improvement!
crits: on page two, bottom panel where you have 'the showdown': the angle is very plain and boring, you need to emphasise and deliver the feeling of tension to the reader! be more dynamic, a cooler angle might have been, say, low camera angle, looking upwards, kinda fisheye, where you see more of the buildings and landscape. also too much gradient tool all over the place. action lines could have been better in page three where itami is attacking ajay. also, panel size reflects importance. and i dont think that the last two panels deserved that size. could have afforded to make them smaller. would have been nice if you added some shadow to itami on the second panel in that same page too, the ground looks too plain. also try giving it some texture, i dont know any fancy methods, maybe just pencil over the colors or smth >_<. first panel on page 4 is AWESOME! great work there. i think page 4 is aweomse everywhere. so is page 5 and 6... man you got good! great work
happy belated wie day eveyone!
Chia: For your first battle, this is pretty damn good. Your artwork is very impressive, and I didn't mind the jumping around in the action scenes. Not flawless, but I'll cover it later.
Rikun: I would like it if your art was a bit more detailed, though for the style you use, it's not too bad. The biggest flaw here: No shading! I think you could probably improve this severalfold simply by including some basic cel-style shading. As is, it looks like filled-in lineart with a few PS affects. Also, though I feel like nitpicking here...you didn't erase your sketch lines completely. It's pretty obvious in Itami, though it looks like you cleaned up Ajay nicely. It looks a little sloppy at times, and I think you can do better.
Both: Overall, both comics seemed...blah. The plot, though basic, is feasibly workable; the script, however, is just...boring. Borderline cheesy in some places. Non-aesthetic-wise, this is the biggest problem I think both of you have.
I'd say Chia wins this one. I know it sounds like I'm ragging on Rikun a lot, but...the artwork flaws are more noticeable. I'd love to see some variable lighting and shading in your work.
Good job both of you, though.
as always (or at least till i'm a bit more jadded art wise) i was lenient on the voting... but none the less, you both did a nice job. sure the story was a bit jump, but that will work itself over time... especially if you listen to the higher ups around here and take their advice.
over all, i'm more impressed with rikun; mostly on account of the fact that he not only finished, he pulled off seven pages, a full three more then i expected. and colored, that was a suprise to. with the way you talked over aim, it sounded like you were to busy to do color, but then outta nowhere two days ago you were like 'okay, i'm done with the inks... now to add color' and i'm like 'wow'. true, you got just the flats, but hey, over all it's an impovement. keep it up dude, and you'll desever a much better score then a d or a c... aim higher bro! (oh yeah, and i know it's tough love, but listen to lune... she's right.)
chia, nice start. i really loved the colors, but i think you need to loosen up your characters a bit... most of it looks nice, but there was just a sort of... i don't know, blah factor. it's nearly as bad as i maybe making it sound, but it's there. great work over all though.
first challange: finish: passed!!!
next challange for both of you: better script.
till next...
There were so many amazing pantie shots that I didn't know what to do with myself. I love the classy \"black vs. white\" theme, except this time, with hot pantie-shots.
Chia, in many ways, I envy you. You have this great understanding of human anatomy, and you smoothly gave the feel of action throughout the comic!
And I think Rikun did a great job at showing the adorable side of the comic ;_;
W-..why does Itami has so be soooo cuuuute<3 And her follow-up on Chia's comic was well done, story wise.
@Wyvern: Sorry if it was boring. But as my first, I think it was suitable considering the nature of the two characters. Though I'll be sure to make my next battle much more interesting!!
@Lune: Fanservice turned you away? PUHLEEEZE girl, it's only on one page in mine and it was unavoidable. No dildos or boob grabbing in my comics. ;D
@Otakutaylor: Noted. That's definitely something I need to work on. Though some were probably experimental...
@ColonelXonik: I'll use more panels for the trasitions next time, so it won't be as jumpy. Did you find it confusing?
Thanks for all the comments. <3
Chia...wow! Very nice art there. I'd say your inking work came out pretty well indeed. However, I agree that this is way too jumpy (the pacing was all right, but your transitioning could be rather abrupt). Still, very nice battle!
Rikun, I'd recommend you get some better coloring skills and actually draw in backgrounds. While this flowed pretty well, it looked very flat and that took a lot of the punch out of it.
Good battle.
Chia, your art was amazing and I really enjoyed your coloring. The story was most definately lacking and it started out so good. Overall, great though. Expecially on the art!
Rikun, I'm not sure how your last battle looked but, your art isn't extremely impressive, but at the same time not bad. You choose some interesting poses which makes up for some shortcomings in the art however, step it up a bit each time. You'll get there. Might wanna try more than just flat coloring your art also... add a little shading.
Great job guys
I hate to say it, but the story was a bit lacking. fortunatly it was a joint effort so you both recieved the same score on that from me.
Both of you have done a fine job of coloring based on what little work i've seen you do.
I'm not sure if it's caused from watching too many cartoons on my part, but both of you appeared to have slight misgivings in how the fighters were posed. Chia, since you have a bit more detailed small mistakes show up more than in Rikuns, which is not as finely detailed but effective since it's consistant. Rikun however, a few proportions seem off, one arm or leg being longer than the other in perspective.
I waited a while to see this, and I'm am very happy with how it turned out regardless of what I said earlier.
The fan service turned me away from both battles. After having been there and done that, I just find it outplayed now and well.. It's like you're drawing attention to that and making up for stuff you could possibly lack. (like stories for example. and yes, I include myself as being guilty to that). Chia, your lineart and coloring is great. I suggest you do more body shots though. I found your beginning pages very..boring because of it. I'm glad you showed full body shots towards the end though. So kudos to that. As others have said, the story was dull. The whole \"LETS SPAR\"...eh. I've told Rikun this so many times. But, good first fight.
Rikun, I will be honest with you, sweety. Your style hasnt improved much. It's the same noses, the same eyes and the same mouths. Your anatomy is getting better, but you still need to refine it. I tell you to post more in the forums to get some improvement all the time- so start doing that. Try loosening up your characters bodies. Give them less chunkyness to them in certain areas. Next battle or next drawing I see from you- I want to see different faces and heights and weights, etc etc. I know I sound rough on you, but you come to me all the time for advice, so I'm guiding the same way I was. Tough love so to say. I am very proud of you for finishing your battle. Good work.
Welps, Chia's art was definetly pretty good, but love the story was buh-horing. \"Dude what's up let's spar okay lol\". I know this was a joint effort but I hope in the future to see something a little bit more interesting from you!
Itami - same goes, thought good on you for trying harder with the art. I actually liked your story better too, with the \"Augh lost again\" thing, it was cute!! I wish you had tried more with your colouring than just the flats, but hey its definetly a step up!
Good job from you both!
Ay chichi great work you have here on this battle, always knew you'd bring it hard and whoop somethin up. keep that up ma!
Rikun, biiiiig improvement homie! I see you steppin your art game up and your story game up and the shit is lookin lost better, you keep this up and you gon be spittin very hot fyah after a while.
this was cool. . i like the style ya went with Ajay. . the lettering is very unique amoung the rest of the voiders i follow. . .i liked it. . .the battles plot was kinda random when it got to the sparring part only in that i didnt think of Ajay as one to just randomly spar in the street. . .she seemed more buisness focused. . BUT was awesome anyway and im in it yay! so yeah great stuff
rikun you did a good job continuing it off in the same story line. . .yur version of chia reminded me a lot of raven from Teen Titans. . but still cool heh. . and i liked that that there was a little vs. type screen of Ajay and Itami resembling the sprites she made.
cool stuff from both sides. . .yay
ROGUE SECT BISHES ! WHAT ? ! . . .
Ajay is not anyone's lover... >_>
I've got all my pages inked and I'm halfway done coloring. Hopefully I can turn it in early then take a break before my 2nd battle. :D
7 pages.
Feel the energy as it gathers behind your neck, the heat of tension and the sweat of love. Well stand still as we poke each other's eye balls out. Ooooh great times.
Rikun- Make sure to get this done. Get started NOW on it. Don't let shit get in your way and try your best. Use a good story against her. Not all fights are bar brawls. Don't let me down!! I'm looking forward to see your first match Chia. Good luck to the both of you!
remember: give us at least the full three. more... much more, if you can! go for it rikun, raise that average score... and chia, show us what you got!!! lets see some awesome in our weeks!
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